Nepotism at my Job is Driving me crazy. How do I learn to deal with it?

June 2, 2008 7:23 AM

I work for a large .Com company that you've all heard of and used. From the outside it might seem like the ideal place to work, and for some people it is. The problem I'm having is the rampant, blatant nepotism taking place on a daily basis.

I have worked for the company nearly 5 years in a sale role. I consistently hit my sales quotas, and go the extra mile with my customers yet I still have not been able to move up in the company. I have seen people with a fraction of my tenure or experience move into management roles - these are people that I trained when they were brand new!

I've seen female employees being offered hotel room keys by senior managers at sales conferences, and promised promotions. I have made this company millions of dollars and don't feel like I'm being given a fair shake.

Am I kidding myself to think that any other company is different than this? I would hate to trash 5 years of tenure only to find out it's the same somewhere else. Can anyone please tell me how I can learn to just accept this? Its creating a lot of stress for me.

posted by Hellafiles to work & money (14 comments total)

There is nothing unusual in what you are feeling. It's not the same in all companies, good sales people are highly regarded- and as a sales person your skills should be relatively portable. If you're not happy, move on- there are plenty of reason in the world to get stressed, and you shouldn't get stressed by something that is in your control to change.

Also nepotism is usually used to indicate a form of favouritism that involves family relationships.
posted by mattoxic at 7:31 AM on June 2, 2008

Not nepotism, but your point is valid.

Think about moving on.
posted by unixrat at 7:40 AM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Generally when you are looking to get promoted to a different type of position, for example from a sales representative to a sales manager, you should be developing skills which are extraneous to your current job responsibilities.

In simpler terms, hitting your sales quota consistently and going the extra mile with your customers doesn't have so much bearing on how you manage employees. Take the initiative, try to run projects, volunteer for management-type tasks, ask for management training.

You will get a better chance at a higher position when you prepare to take on the different responsibilities rather than when you demonstrate how good you are at doing your current job.
posted by splice at 7:42 AM on June 2, 2008

A lot depends on the company. I've worked at ones where hard work and good skills generally caused people to be rewarded. I've worked at ones where the only way to be rewarded were to be young, attractive, and willing.

The company I work in now has both of those cases. Two years ago I moved from a team where advancement was available only for certain friends of the boss to a team where I've been rewarded well for good planning and hard work.

You might want to explore other teams within the same company. That worked for me, otherwise I would've long since jumped ship
posted by krisak at 8:03 AM on June 2, 2008

And what splice said - I've been promoted within this team because I've been proving that I'm willing to spend the extra time and effort to learn skills that are valuable and necessary in a position higher than mine. (Not that I wasn't willing to do that in my other team, the option to move up simply wasn't there.)
posted by krisak at 8:05 AM on June 2, 2008

Could the problem be that you're a good salesperson and have made no indication you want to move into management? Good salespeople can be hard to find, and by going into management would mean the company loses a salesperson rather than simply upping your responsibility. If you think you should be making more commission or have a different title, go on and ask for it. If you truly want to go into management, ask your boss what it would take to get there. Sometimes you just need to ask.
posted by lubujackson at 8:26 AM on June 2, 2008

Nepotism is from the latin word "nepos", meaning grandchild or nephew, and the word is generally used to mean that the friends or relatives of someone influential are given preferential treatment due to their connections, rather than their skills or job experience. You didn't mention details of any such relationships in your post. If there actually is nepotism at work then that could explain things.

Just playing devil's advocate here, but are you sure the problem is with the system, rather than with you specifically? Can you think of any reason why you might be passed over for promotion? Have you ever received any complaints or disciplinary action?

On the other hand, if you're as good as you say you are, it might be the case that your company doesn't want to lose you as a salesperson by promoting you! After all, someone who always meets their quota and is excellent at customer service is a valuable employee.

Have you tried talking to any of your superiors about this? Do you have any regular performance reviews? This is a demoralising and frustrating situation for you, and asking for definitive answers from your superiors could be helpful.
posted by badmoonrising at 8:31 AM on June 2, 2008

From what I've seen during my sales career that the easiest way to move out of sales is to fail at it. That is where most sales managers come from, right?

The reality on a purely financial basis is that you can probably make more in sales, and many companies assume that their successful sales people are motivated primarily by cash. If you really want to move up in the company a sit down chat with your boss is in order. Explain your desires. If he or she doesn't act very willing to help you move up, it's time to move out.
posted by COD at 8:34 AM on June 2, 2008

As an aside, I came in here solely to see if you were referring to the large .com that I work for. Nearly half of the managers in the sales department have the same last name. I'm more than thrilled to be far far away from that department now.

Along those lines, .com companies have many things going on, have you considered moving in to one of those non-sales roles, hopefully separating yourself from the rest of this blatant disregard of a good employee?
posted by phredgreen at 9:31 AM on June 2, 2008

Personally I think I'd move on.

If you're not moving up, just sitting around at the same company doesn't seem like a really productive use of your time, if you're not enjoying the job. You might as well take the experience and try to turn it into a better, hopefully higher-paying and more enjoyable job somewhere else.

Leave gracefully (i.e., swallow your pride and don't make it obvious you're leaving because you think the company sucks), make sure you get good recommendations, and I would imagine you ought to be quite portable. Good salespeople are hard to find.

Just generally: IMO, life's too short and too unpredictable to stay in a crummy job for the less-than-certain hope of a payoff (promotion, etc.) down the road. If what you're doing isn't worth the benefit you're getting out of it, one day to the next, in terms of both satisfaction and pay, it's time to put yourself on the market. (Assuming you have skills that are in demand.)

And as a last piece of advice, which may or may not apply to your situation, but I relate only because it was hard-won: save your loyalty for actual human beings who can return it; never waste it corporations or organizations. I've stayed in some crap jobs because of misplaced feelings of loyalty to the organization as an entity, even though no person would really have been hurt personally if I'd just walked; don't ever stick around if you find yourself in this situation.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:43 AM on June 2, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yes, the term you want is cronyism.

Most jobs suck. Sales jobs suck more. I'd start looking around but set the bar for departure, by requiring that the new job be very special. If you go, you want to go where things are clearly, visibly, obviously better, not simply different.
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:02 AM on June 2, 2008

One other point: don't assume having a room key handed to you as a condition for a job promotion is a job perk. That sounds like sexual harassment.
posted by 8dot3 at 11:13 AM on June 2, 2008

Just because you're good at sales doesn't mean you're management material. Maybe the people you trained were good managers, and you just gave them enough technical knowledge about the sales side of things to make the leap. All of the people in my team have more degrees and technical qualifications than me - I'm still the manager, though, because that's what I'm best at. It's a separate discipline, not some sort of reward you get for being good at your job.

Otherwise, there's some grand conspiracy to keep you, and only you, where you are, a conspiracy that requires the cooperation of newcomers and strangers. This doesn't sound very likely.

Somebody has to do sales. If you were good at it, and I was your manager, I wouldn't move you to a job you wouldn't do as well either.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 5:14 AM on June 3, 2008

Just because you're good at sales doesn't mean you're management material. Maybe the people you trained were good managers, and you just gave them enough technical knowledge about the sales side of things to make the leap. All of the people in my team have more degrees and technical qualifications than me - I'm still the manager, though, because that's what I'm best at. It's a separate discipline, not some sort of reward you get for being good at your job.

Otherwise, there's some grand conspiracy to keep you, and only you, where you are, a conspiracy that requires the cooperation of newcomers and strangers. This doesn't sound very likely.

Somebody has to do sales. If you were good at it, and I was your manager, I wouldn't move you to a job you wouldn't do as well either.

Spoken like a true manager :)
posted by Hellafiles at 6:40 AM on June 3, 2008