Help me identify this metal mouth-like object!

May 30, 2008 10:28 AM

Help me identify this mystery object. It looks sort of like a set of metallic false teeth, smaller than life-size, with a metal tube or something where the tongue should be.

It's a long story, I won't get too detailed. I have my own blog, I know how to use it.

A got into a petty argument with a guy yesterday. During this argument he held up the mystery object. It was in a clamshell package, it looked like he had just bought it.

He was trying to make friendly with me, showing me how "cool" he was having just purchased this thing - but I don't really know. But I was really angry at him, so I didn't pay any attention to it.

But now I want to write about this ordeal on my blog, and I want to know what the object was.

Some clues:

For some reason, I assumed the object was marijuana-related. Perhaps some sort of novelty pipe? This is in part because there's a head shop right next to where the altercation took place. It could also be some bizarre sex toy, because the head shop also sells that kind of stuff. Or it could be completely unrelated. Who knows.

The guy was really drunk. I'm pretty sure he was at the Cubs game earlier. He's a huge, muscular guy, and if I were to take any guesses, I would say he was (at one time) in the military, I only mention this because it might help explain what he was showing to me.

Any ideas would be appreciated! Thanks! A links to a product page would be ideal.

posted by kpmcguire to shopping (13 comments total)

Alligator clips
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:45 AM on May 30

Just as an fyi, alligator clips have many uses, including, but not limited to: current directing, roach holding and nipple clamping.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:48 AM on May 30

It was shaped like a human mouth, not alligator. I suppose I should have mentioned that.
posted by kpmcguire at 11:22 AM on May 30

Do you have a sense of how big it was? You say "smaller than life-size," but how small?
posted by wemayfreeze at 11:47 AM on May 30

Can you draw a picture? It doesn't have to be a Michelangelo but any crude drawing would help us to visualize what you're talking about.
posted by iconomy at 11:54 AM on May 30

Could it possibly have been some type of "grill"? These only match the "metal human teeth" part of your description...and I guess some people would consider it cool to have just bought one--could it have been some version of this? Try a Google image search for "grillz"; I found this: grillz. Just a guess...a drawing would be helpful, like iconomy said!
posted by rio at 12:20 PM on May 30

did the teeth move? my wild guess is nutcracker!
posted by cardamine at 12:24 PM on May 30

Here's a drawing.

I would say it as about 80% the size of a normal set of teeth.

Now I'm having a inclination that it was some sort of mouth guard, but those aren't usually made of metal. Maybe the whole thing wasn't metal, but at least the teeth definitely were. Maybe it was some variety of "grill."

/shrugs
posted by kpmcguire at 12:49 PM on May 30

Since he was near a headshop-- could it have been a metal grinder?
posted by holyrood at 1:07 PM on May 30

(in case it's not clear, there's a wide variety of novelty-shaped grinders out there, not just plain silver round tins like the one I linked to)
posted by holyrood at 1:08 PM on May 30

Maybe if you told us what the fight was about it might shed some light on what we think he would have showed you?
posted by pwb503 at 1:27 PM on May 30

I was waiting in line to buy donuts at the DD. He came in demanding for a bag to hold all the crap he was carrying with him, which looked to be stuff he just purchased elsewhere. He was carrying various portable foodstuffs, beef jerky, vacuum sealed tuna, etc. and this object.

He was making a scene and it was taking a long time, and I was getting annoyed because I was there first. I commented sarcastically that the clerk should probably tend to paying customers before non-paying customers. This ticked the guy off, but not too much, as he had just received his wonderfully amazing bag and was happily putting his stuff in it. I remember him saying something like "Hey, man, I'm just trying to get a bag for my shit, no big deal."

Then he holds out the mouth-device and implores me to check it out. I think he said "hey man, check this out! HA HA HA!" I was obviously angry and I think this was his attempt to placate me. But, I was really angry at this point and told that I don't care about that "shit." (although obviously I do now!)

Then he gets really pissed off, and that's where it degenerates into large jock making death threats to nerd. Strangely enough, there was a security guard there, I assume because it's a really busy Dunkin Donuts, and this security guy successfully made him back off. It was quite frightening. I don't think anyone has ever threatened me with death before. He told me he could kill me in 10 seconds.

But! I really want to know what this damn thing was! That's the important part!
posted by kpmcguire at 2:08 PM on May 30 [2 favorites]

If you're pretty sure it was from the head shop, go in and look around (or call them, but that might annoy them!).
posted by crabintheocean at 2:44 PM on May 30