Nom de Femme de Guerre... on Wheels

May 29, 2008 9:41 PM

What's my name, sucka? For roller derby, that is.

I need help picking the best Roller Derby name for me. It must be unique, which is to say, not found on this list or too similar to anything that is. There's already a Victoria Deck 'Em, and a girl can't get Kicktoria Deck 'Em. Too similar. Dig?

My given name's Amber, so anything clever, sexy, merciless or badass riffing on Amber or preferably Ambrosia is where it's at, or anything just AWESOME. I also like Professor Pain /Doctor DETH sorts of names, since I'm kinda academicky.

The only other things about me I can conceive of that could possibly be incorporated into this are that I'm big, blonde, have dimples, and am a dommey deviant of the first order.

My ideas so far are: Amberlance (weee-ooo, weee-ooo... boo)
Ladykiller (might be too similar to Lady KillHer)
Lyssa Virus (Too bad my name's not Lyssa, but it means Rabies, so how cool is that?)
and Bitey.

posted by Ambrosia Voyeur to grab bag (57 answers total)

I almost forgot, it ought not be too graphic. I know you're all jumping at Slutbags McWhoricutty, but that's not okay. A little double entendre is fine.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:46 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Amber Alert?
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:47 PM on May 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

GAH! Steve Elvis beat me... it's got to be Amber Alert.
posted by phrontist at 9:51 PM on May 29, 2008

I beat you to failing. It's on the list.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:52 PM on May 29, 2008

"If You Want To Have Cities You've Got To Build Roads; Amber"
posted by self at 10:06 PM on May 29, 2008

Amber Amputator
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:07 PM on May 29, 2008

Amber Iceberg

Brr.

Ambrosia I'm-a Beat-ya
posted by self at 10:07 PM on May 29, 2008

What about Amber Virus? It's a computer virus and a real virus as well.

Also, Slambrosia.
posted by iconomy at 10:07 PM on May 29, 2008 [4 favorites]

Do you like philosophy?

Seneca of sadism

related: Senecaustic

Platonica

Proustian Punches

Well-Read-Person-Beater
posted by self at 10:10 PM on May 29, 2008

^ iconomy: "
Also, Slambrosia."

This I like.
posted by self at 10:10 PM on May 29, 2008

Totally unrelated to Amber, but I always fantasized my roller derby name would be Commie Gibbler... you're welcome to it, I'm never going to learn how to rollerskate.
posted by rhinny at 10:12 PM on May 29, 2008

Slamber Party
posted by loiseau at 10:19 PM on May 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

Another vote for Slambrosia.
posted by phunniemee at 10:20 PM on May 29, 2008

love slambrosia
posted by healthyliving at 10:23 PM on May 29, 2008

Bling Kong
posted by loiseau at 10:24 PM on May 29, 2008

Ambrosianocide
Ambruiseya
Deviamber
Ambrosia Betelguese

'ambrosia' comes via Latin from Greek 'ambrotos', meaning 'immortal'. That's pretty rad.

Ambrosia Beetles are pretty darn cool too.

This is also interesting, from the Wikipedia entry for 'ambrosia': "In one version of the story of the birth of Achilles, Thetis anoints the infant with ambrosia and passes the child through the fire to make him immortal—a familiar Phoenician custom—but Peleus, appalled, stops her, leaving only his heel unimmortalised."

I would assume that's where we get the phrase "achilles heel", referring to the weak part of something...in this case, the part that wasn't doused with ambrosia and put through fire.

That was all somewhat of a tangent, but I have a whole new appreciation for your Metafilter name now!
posted by iamkimiam at 10:27 PM on May 29, 2008

Amberodesiac
Amberdextrous
Ambush
posted by loiseau at 10:35 PM on May 29, 2008

^ Amber Dextrous
posted by loiseau at 10:36 PM on May 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't see a Slam-Ber on your list (which is great - Smackajawea! Ha!); short and sweet.

Um, the Greek name for amber was Electron, there's places that could go...
While waiting for more replies, try starting at the wikipedia Amber (disambiguation) page and see if anything inspires?

AmberOwesYa - a Beatdown!
posted by bartleby at 10:54 PM on May 29, 2008

Or a slightly more aggressive version:
Arm-bar Dextrous
posted by tim_in_oz at 11:07 PM on May 29, 2008

Slambrosia is great! Here are some others:

• Doc Holliday / Doc Rolliday
• Georgia O'Grief
• Malice Cooper
• Goria Malign'em
• Miss Aries (or Miss Airy) - Also BONUS since you actually are an Aries!
• Madam Throws'ya (ugh, I tried. Nothing rhymes with ambrosia.)
• Siouxsie Siouxicide WHAT

And depending on your position:
JAMMER: Jamber, Jam-her, Jam-brosia (Tiffany Jammer Knees-in, or omg Kelly KaPLOWski), etc.
BLOCKER: Block Cousteau, Betty Blocker, Davy Blockette,
Pivot: ?????

this is so fun omg frustrating to the MAX! I am miffed that so many of my names were already taken. Hrmph.

* edited after checking the list - registered names stricken
posted by numinous at 11:07 PM on May 29, 2008

Mon dieu. Some of the names on the list are excellent.

My suggestions (which are basically variations from Iconomy's pun):
Bambrosia. Then you can just yell "BAM!" like Emeril everytime you, uh, do whatever it is you do in roller derby.
Jambrosia or Jam-ber, for obvious reasons.
Burning Ambers, which might not be as obvious and isn't as kick-assy.
posted by spiderskull at 11:14 PM on May 29, 2008

I was really tempted not to tell you this one and keep it for myself in case I ever become a roller girl or have a burlesque routine, but since a post of yours cemented the term in my brain, it's only fair I tell you about it...

Penny Dreadful.
posted by piratebowling at 11:17 PM on May 29, 2008 [4 favorites]

Damn! numinous beat me to the Jam-ber suggestion.
posted by spiderskull at 11:29 PM on May 29, 2008

Isn't Amber Alert that thing where kids get abducted? Not sure thats such a great name.
posted by missmagenta at 11:50 PM on May 29, 2008

Ambruiser

Harmbrosia
posted by tomcooke at 11:52 PM on May 29, 2008

Slamber is probably the way to go, but I think that Cobra Commamber would also rule, as clumsy as it is.
posted by ignignokt at 11:54 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Amburglar (wear a striped top)

Amberninate

Flyin' Amber

Ambergrief

Amberlesque

(Sally Force? Bethwish? Argh, Juggernaughty is taken...)
posted by fleacircus at 12:01 AM on May 30, 2008

Bang Zoom (Honeymooners reference... and double entendre?)
The Dislocatrix
Deadly Ambrosia, how sweet the kiss of Death
Amberpocalypse
Intercontinental Ballistic Amber
Princess Hurtsalot

And finally... (drum roll please)
The Bung Dropper
(now that's menacing)
posted by XMLicious at 12:01 AM on May 30, 2008

Ambitious Pain

Amber She Devil

Skull Pulper

Boobie Crusher

Genghis Amber

Ass Breaker

Brass Ovaries

Ball Cruncher
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:27 AM on May 30, 2008

Bloodsport McTimecop
posted by moift at 12:50 AM on May 30, 2008

Ambruiser Destroyer
posted by jamjam at 1:01 AM on May 30, 2008

Amberserk
posted by tomcooke at 1:09 AM on May 30, 2008

Or Amberserker
posted by tomcooke at 2:02 AM on May 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

Seconding Slambrosia. And yeah, in the not-Ambrosia vein, piratebowling's Penny Dreadful is truly fine. Also consider Daaaamn!brosia, with built-in emphasis for whenever you're announced, or Amblur, if you're going to be jamming. Ambergris is kinda nasty in concept, if somewhat obscure these days, but you could make it Ambergristly (Adams?) for double the fun.
posted by mumkin at 2:10 AM on May 30, 2008

Professor Murder
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:52 AM on May 30, 2008

Amber WavesofPain

(and another vote for Slambrosia - that's a good 'un)
posted by jammy at 5:04 AM on May 30, 2008 [3 favorites]

Screaming Mimi
posted by Hugh2d2 at 5:08 AM on May 30, 2008

I don't know why this was the first thing to come to my mind:

Ambernito Muscle-ini

But these are kinda cool too:

AV Clubb

Ambrosia & Omega
posted by sambosambo at 6:33 AM on May 30, 2008

The Fossilmaker
posted by Zed_Lopez at 8:09 AM on May 30, 2008

Thought of this one in the shower last night: Ambrosia Solid

I still like Bitey, though.
posted by contraption at 8:16 AM on May 30, 2008

Zed Lopez introduces an interesting angle:
Petrifier
Petrifactor
The Sticky Immobilizer
posted by contraption at 8:23 AM on May 30, 2008

Nom de Femme de Guerre
posted by geekyguy at 8:29 AM on May 30, 2008

Ambergris Blowhole
posted by rmd1023 at 8:44 AM on May 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

Glam-bush
posted by InstantSanitizer at 9:55 AM on May 30, 2008

Amber Asskicka
posted by not_on_display at 10:09 AM on May 30, 2008

or, TEH MASKDED PWNER
posted by not_on_display at 10:10 AM on May 30, 2008

It seems that I came into this thread too late to have any orginal ideas, but after skimming that list, keep in mind that your number is another source of hilarity (most common seem to be 666, 69, and 420 fwiw). A good examle of this is Abraham Drinkin', number: 4score & 7.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 10:30 AM on May 30, 2008

Calamity Amber kinda rolls off the tongue, no?

The Evil Midnight Amber What Ambs at Midnight

Amberomeda Strain

Ramber: First Blood

Pantone 14-1045 TPX
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:16 AM on May 30, 2008 [2 favorites]

[this is great]

Marked a few favorites... I'm being awfully indecisive, but I really have a big assortment to choose from, here!!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:51 PM on May 30, 2008

Tara Ligament
posted by workerant at 1:14 PM on May 30, 2008 [2 favorites]

I heartily support
SLAMbrosia or SLAMber (gotta do the emphasis)

And an alternative to SLAMbrosia could be WHAMbrosia...

I see Amber Waves of Pain is already taken, as is Ambruisia.

It should be noted that none of the names on the Big List end in "osia".

Amberserker and Ambergrief (or AmberGriefer) are OK.
posted by wendell at 2:11 PM on May 30, 2008

Everything good I thought of somebody else already suggested. However, if supreme geekiness is what you want to go for, I say roll under the name: Amber Hulk.
posted by Kattullus at 2:32 PM on May 30, 2008

Slamber Party

LOVE Tara Ligament. Very, very good.
posted by SlyBevel at 2:51 PM on May 30, 2008

Here's a couple I've come up with, but I'm still not decided, sorry.

Ayn Rammed
Floorgasm
The Mad Madam
Pain Rae
Bitch On Wheels (I cannot believe this is available.)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:48 AM on June 30, 2008

OMG! Bitch on Wheels is available? Holy rollers, you HAVE to take it! It's so funny and random–I can hear the announcers now:
"And here comes that Bitch on Wheels, watch out!" and all the other girls will be like, "DAMN, I wish I thought of that!"
posted by iamkimiam at 8:02 AM on July 31, 2008

I have to thank Ambrosia for helping me come up with my derby name...her reference to "Kicktoria Deck 'Em" led me to "Queen Kicktoria". Thanks!
posted by Lucinda at 4:21 PM on August 5, 2008