How to talk to my friend about his arranged marriage?
May 21, 2008 7:58 PM Subscribe
My friend is having an arranged marriage organised by his parents for him and recently decided to say yes to his bride. He made the announcement to his friends and said he was happy to do it even though it had been a difficult decision. We're not entirely sure he is
happy or that this is what he wants and don't know how to talk to him about it.
posted by doobiedoo to human relations (26 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My mate is in his mid 20s. Most of my friends and I suspect he is doing this to please his family since he rarely says no to his parents. He has also never been very confident with girls, despite being a great guy and not bad looking either, so it seems like his family obligations come at a time when he no longer believes in his romantic prospects. He has always been very private about the issue and prior to his announcement he'd only confided to a few of his friends and family. Now that he's made up his mind it's even harder to talk to him about it since we all feel obliged to be supportive. The way I see it, rather than admitting his reluctance or saying no to his parents, he's trying to convince us and himself that he's happy with the decision, but I don't know how to say this to him (let alone engage him on what he wants vs what his family wants) when he either insists that 'it just feels right' and 'it's an idea that we have to get used to', or avoids the issue entirely.