Help us dance at our wedding!

May 19, 2008 10:43 AM

My fiancé and I need some help with our first dance at our wedding.

We're getting married soon (in a few days!) and we're both worried about the first dance (we chose "Just the way you are" by Billy Joel) because we don't really know how to dance and we can't find any place in town that gives *this* type of dancing lessons (just salsa and the like)...does anyone know about any online resources we could look at? Maybe some dancing tutorials on Youtube? A website with some instructions and tips?

Please help us avoid looking lame in front of our guests!

posted by CrazyLemonade to society & culture (14 comments total)

Just to alleviate some of the anxiety you might have, I strongly doubt that any wedding attendee is going to watch the new couple's first dance and care at all if they know how to dance. They're either 1) going to be looking at how cute you guys are or 2) they be paying attention at all. If you want to go ahead and learn some formal steps, that's totally cool. But don't worry about it; it's about you two having fun, not about impressing anyone.
posted by phunniemee at 10:49 AM on May 19

that should say they won't be paying attention at all
posted by phunniemee at 10:50 AM on May 19

As that's a pretty slow song, I am thinking that Standard Slow Dance Protocol is just fine.
Man's hands on her waist.
Her hands on his shoulders.
Stare into eyes lovingly (optional)
Sway.
Sway.
Sway.
Repeat until end of song.
Leave dance floor to applause or disinterest or stampede to dance Hokey Pokey.
posted by willmize at 10:52 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

IMO, there are three ways to go here, with two of them good.

1) You *don't* know how to dance, so you clutch and sway like a prom date, whisper sweet nothings to each other and laugh private laughs that look adorable. Every now and then, you throw in a simple flourish, like you spin her (something you can learn in 30 seconds). Good!

2) You *do* know how to dance, and you do so. Good on ya', mate!

3) You *don't* know how to dance, so you take a few lessons, get nervous, forget all you've learned, and look awkward and uncomfortable.

Go with Option No. 1.

Otherwise, YouTube is your friend.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:03 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

I'm not positive Salsa is the dance style you want but I think it could work. Try this site- you can click to see the man's part, woman's part, and videos as well. It seems fairly easy to follow.
It also has details of how to add in a spin or two that wouldn't be too difficult.
posted by bobdylanforever at 11:17 AM on May 19

Here is what we did to minimize embarrassment:
1.) We picked a long song (live version of Peter Gabriel's In your Eyes, around 11 minutes) and had the DJ do all the introductions over the introduction.
2.) After the first verse of our dance, invited everyone else to the dancefloor.
3.) Faded out early.
posted by mkb at 11:29 AM on May 19

Nobody will judge your dancing. Nobody will care how well or poorly you dance. Everyone will look at you together and say "Awwwwwww!"

Pick a romantic tune, hold each other in your arms, gaze into each others' eyes and sway back and forth for about 45 seconds, then have the DJ or the best man or whoever invite everyone else onto the dance floor with you.

I've been to hundreds of weddings (professionally), and can't remember a single instance of "wow, they really can't dance, can they!" ever.

Or you could go nuts and choreograph this kind of thing (youtube).
posted by Aquaman at 11:47 AM on May 19

Are you firm on using that song? it's kind of a hard song to dance to, if you ask me and so you'll already have that working against you. Something with a more definitive beat might be much easier on you.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 11:56 AM on May 19

Call up any place that does ballroom dancing and tell them that you want to learn to foxtrot PRONTO, slate a two hour lesson, bring a CD, and have fun.

Just the Way You Are (just gave it a listen) is a good tempo for an easy FoxTrot. All you really need to know is how to do the basic step and how to turn. This will get you around the dance floor. Just do that and smile, smile, smile.

Mrs. Plinth and I took lessons so we could do a lot more - more varied foxtrot steps, mix-in some swing, end with a nice dip. All of that was for us. For your family and your friends, keep it simple and show how happy you really are. That should be easy.
posted by plinth at 12:17 PM on May 19

Like people mentioned above, nobody cares at all if you can't dance-dance. They'll all be too busy taking photos and smiling and grinning. You can just hold each other and shuffle through the song. Yay!

If you're really keen on dancing, though, I agree with otherworldlyglow that "Just the Way You Are" is not a very danceable song. It's very slow and doesn't really have a good beat for a ballroom dance. I think you could do tai chi to that song rather than dance to it. If you're flexible for finding a different song, some Frank Sinatra songs are lovely simple fox trots (like "Just the Way You Look Tonight") with extremely clear beats.

If your profile is right, you're not in the USA, which is a bummer - dance studios like Arthur Murray and Fred Astaire have wedding packages just for this kind of situation. Could you post on Craigslist to have a local dancer show you the basic steps and teach you a simple routine?

One last thing, though - please don't let this be a stressful thing to do. Do it only if you feel comfortable dancing and if you enjoy it. I will always remember the wedding I attended where the couple did not ordinarily enjoy dancing but they'd forced themselves to take a class just to get through their first dance. They stumbled through a lot of it and did NOT look like they were having fun. If they'd just held each other and not tried to do elaborate steps, they would have been so much more comfortable and relaxed.
posted by cadge at 12:32 PM on May 19

just remember: it's not a performance, it's your first dance as husband and wife. so do whatever YOU enjoy doing. and if you're not into dancing, skip it entirely. my friends did, and nobody cared.

seconding the idea of bringing in everyone after the first verse. if you don't normally dance, a full song can be agonizing.
posted by thinkingwoman at 12:55 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

i mean for you, not your audience.
posted by thinkingwoman at 12:55 PM on May 19

My husband and I took a free introductory dance lesson before our wedding, and the first thing they taught us was this big, sweeping entrance to starting any dance. So, we did that, everyone oohed over our impressive moment, and then we went straight into can't-dance-so-we'll-sway mode for the rest of our dance. Worked great.
posted by daisyace at 6:43 AM on May 20

Thanks everyone for your answers. Everything you said helped by at least reducing my anxiousness. (I hadn't been able to answer before, you know how it can get, 10 days before the wedding!)
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:41 PM on May 20