I work in web field but starting to hate it!! Looking for ideas on new careers that better suit my personality.

May 12, 2008 2:59 PM

I work in web field but starting to hate it!! Looking for ideas on new careers that better suit my personality.

I know I should know what I like and don't.. but I honestly don't. Well, I do, but I'm 34 and truth is, I just like stuff I liked when I was a kid. If I could, I'd get a job like at FedEx or maybe be an entry level airline mechanic. I'm a totally blue collar, outdoorsy, intellectually lazy and aloof kind of guy. I hate thinking. I like just doing.

But I also like $$$ of course ;) So that's why, ten years ago I decided, hey I should get a computer science degree since that kind of stuff came naturally to me. Honestly, I just thought it was "cool". That's when it was sorta a fad to make these cool flash thingys and you could tell your friends, check this out, and they all think it's so cool and awsome and tell you how rich you can get.

Anyway, so then I got a job and it was boooring. I worked for the City, everyone was so old and I felt like I was hanging out with my friend's parents all day. I did that for about 5 years, but I happened to be good (compared to them) because I was "young" and "hip" and knew how to make web applications so the part time clerks could order toilet paper online. So that kind of stuff seemed impressive to aging 60 year old managers, and I got big raises and got to a senior level.

So I thought, okay, why not try out there in the private sector, where the real action is. I was thinking.. the yahoos, googles, etc. Well I got into one of them, I won't mention, but it's not yahoo or google ;P

Anyway, I do web/user interface work, so that's like html, css, javascript, ajax, etc.

Well now I am so jaded of this. I just hate it. But what I come to realize is that, the reason I hate it isn't because I hate the WORK. I think I just feel I don't fit in the the culture of this work.

I don't dress like them, talk like them, look act, don't have same interests, nothing. I'm ghetto. I'm uncultured. I don't have flickr. I don't take pictures of gelato or starbucks. I don't wear polo or button down shirts. I hang out with guys who are lazy incompetent bums, and I like it. I'm just not this quaint, clean cut, sophisticated, iPod kind of guy. Well, I do like my iPod touch, but I'm just not that kind of guy.

I'm so tired of applying for similar positions at these big companies and feeling this feeling during the interviews, kinda like when some kid accidentally walks into a room full of frat boys and there's that awkward tension of having to pretend like you guys like each other.

I just feel this way about people I'd encounter in this field. It just ain't my bang. Ain't my cup of tea.

I just happen to be good at this particular subject though, and not very good at anything else. But I don't enjoy the people. I'd rather have the guy who runs the stereo shop over on 3rd and Avalon as my manager. That's the kind of people I like. That's my comfort zone, I can't explain why, it's just my preference. I'm low class. But low class as it is, I just feel they're more real. I can't deal with people who never felt pain, only college frats bmw's. And so to them, little details are a big deal. All these product managers on web projects, it just sickens me hearing them be so serious about it when people are dying out there. LIke, WHO CARES. I'll do this job, code the friggen html, just be happy. But they're so college frat "go get em" personalities drive me insane. I just want to laugh at it.

So I am considering just quitting. But I'll be throwing away a 70-80k salary, benefits, security, etc.. and risking that part of it. So I am considering and not just doing this on a whim..

But I seriously, seriously need to get out. I'm just so afraid because I have no skills otherwise. My people skills suck, I'm only good at laughing and having stupid fun. Like I said, my only options are like UPS, FedEX type jobs.. no experience, just get in and work your way up type of jobs.

But then, I'm 34 and sort of used to non labor intensive jobs. So that's a problem.

The ONLY other minute talent I have is I'm somewhat creative and and decent with art and photography. But again, I'm not "classy" enough, I feel, for that field. And I'm not so extraordinarily talented that my looks and appearance will be overlooked over talent. (As in, you see tons of butt ugly guys but with skills that are insane) -- Not me.

So I guess, with a small amount of art/design talent (natural talent but not industry experienced), 5+ years of web dev/design experience, and an introverted personality, WHAT CAN I DO???

I might end up just being a bum on skidrow.

Anyway, thanks for those who read all this!!

posted by 0217174 to human relations (15 comments total)

Why don't you freelance? Instead of having a boss and having to deal with people everyday, you can pick and choose the projects you'd like to do, work in your boxers, and have cereal for lunch.
posted by Mach5 at 3:19 PM on May 12

I feel you have an inferiority complex that is causing you enormous stress. You call yourself 'low class' and feel you have poor looks and appearance. You feel the 'bmw frat boy types' are better than you and don't respect or need you. You like the work itself and think you are good at it, and you like the pay. It appears to me you just don't feel like you are respected socially and this causes you stress and pain.

My prediction will be that in quitting these problems will follow you everywhere, and you will be giving up work you like and are skilled at, and decent steady pay. Although I can't tell you how to get over your feelings of inferiority and social anxiety, I feel you shouldnt throw out the baby with the bathwater. Don't nuke your a job you like because you feel you dont fit in socially, but perhaps work on understanding these feelings of not fitting in.

Thats my analysis anyway.
posted by norabarnacl3 at 3:26 PM on May 12

There are lots of uncouth bums in the web development and art worlds.

Maybe interview with some places with casual dress codes, and see if you like the atmosphere any better? There's no need to throw away your experience for something blue collar just because you'd like a different kind of coworker. I would guess that smaller places would be a better bet .. places without any "cachet" to the name but who still pay the bills on time. There are lots.
posted by shownomercy at 3:33 PM on May 12

Listen to norabarnacl3! Seriously! I am you. I mean, I'm a chick, and I'm a little older than you...but I used to think a lot like you do.

Here's the thing - it's all you. It's fear of people that's keeping you from meshing with your co-workers. Do you really think they care whether you wear a polo or not or where they keep their digital photos? No, they don't. I know in my case it was the fear of being discovered to be a "fraud" that kept me separate from others.

My point is, you are no different than the people you work with. You got the degree, you do the work, you get the pay....thinking you're somehow different than them is bull (no matter where you store your photos). You are making over 70k a year...you are not ghetto.

This "me vs. them" mentality is going to bite your ass again and again until you get over it. That chip must be getting pretty heavy by now, put it down and THEN decide what you want to do when you grow up.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:50 PM on May 12

This isn't a matter of you being "ghetto" and these guys being "typical".

It's a matter of these guys having been sold a fucking lifestyle, while you've opted to continue to be yourself.

You are superior to them. Take pride in the fact that you're not a sheep. It will, eventually, take you far.
posted by Jimbob at 3:58 PM on May 12 [1 favorite]

I can't deal with people who never felt pain, only college frats bmw's. And so to them, little details are a big deal. All these product managers on web projects, it just sickens me hearing them be so serious about it when people are dying out there. LIke, WHO CARES. I'll do this job, code the friggen html, just be happy. But they're so college frat "go get em" personalities drive me insane. I just want to laugh at it.

1. Don't assume that white-collar (or any other subset of humanity) has never felt pain. Not bringing your individual pain to work so everyone including the IT guys know about it is called professionalism.

2. Product managers on web projects are expected to take their jobs seriously. It's called professionalism. The guy who runs the stereo shop is probably pretty serious about his investment too.

So you've figured out what you don't like. That's good, and if you're only 10 years in then you still have lots of time and lots of opportunity to figure out what you like. Maybe study to be an EMT --- rescue workers come from all walks of life & you'd be doing something about all those people dying out there. And maybe the experience will help you see that people can be different without looking down their nose at people who don't like what they like.
posted by headnsouth at 4:03 PM on May 12

I was going to suggest bartending. If you work at the right bar or restaurant you can make a decent amount of money. But you said you we're an introvert...

As for arts/photography...it depends. There are many areas in photography that are non-pretentious. As for flickr, give it a chance, and search for different groups that may interest you. There are many photos of "blue collar" subjects. If you search for the right things, you'll get hooked.
posted by sixcolors at 4:12 PM on May 12

I'm with you on the different cultures. Many of my friends never had to have a job before they got their degrees and yeah, they hold on to these notions of "that's not fair!" and expecting someone else to create an equitable work environment for them, instead of promoting cooperation and doing it themselves. A lot of them don't understand the value of tipping, or letting rude customer service slide because yes, it's unprofessional, but not everyone can have a good day all the time, and people in service take a lot of crap. And I mean, I probably would've grown up to be just like them except I learned in high school how to sling a 40-gallon bag of trash soaking with people's discarded sodas over my head and into the dumpster, and then later how to smile and be courteous to someone even when they think it's okay to curse at you for something entirely out of your control.

I really think that many, many people with these college educations will never ever learn what it's like to make minimum wage and really sweat for their money. My current job pays the most out of any I've ever had. I also do the least amount of work I've ever had to do, and I do all of it in a comfortable chair, in air conditioning, with hour lunches and the flexibility to take breaks whenever I want. I know that my friends are very human and I know that they have experienced a lot, good and bad... but I don't know if they'll ever know what it's like to learn how to be okay even if you have to clean up the can after someone with questionable digestive abilities used it, or learning that life goes on even if the trash bag rips as you're carrying it out.

Sorry I don't have much advice, but I'd wager it's the camaraderie you miss, and every work environment I've been in has a slightly different flavor. I'll grant you that my first "sit at a computer" job (this current one) has been really isolating and I don't have nearly as much interaction with my coworkers as I used to, but I know that not every desk job is like that.

You could, by the way, consider teaching web design, and put all those "down to earth" interpersonal skills to work.
posted by reebear at 4:14 PM on May 12 [1 favorite]

If, as you intimate, your employer is a megacorp, then there's a whole lot of room for you to find happiness doing the same thing, just outside the company. So it sounds like the corporate culture isn't for you... understandable. There's a world of work in smaller web shops where you'd probably feel more comfortable, and the pay, while maybe not as awesome as yours might be currently at not-Google, won't be entry-level UPS either. It's hard to get to know a company's culture from the outside, and most of them will probably present a somewhat buttoned-down appearance when you're interviewing, but if it's that important to you, I'd just make a point of asking your interviewer whether there's a casual atmosphere etc. Quality of life matters, and if you're not happy where you are now, make sure you'll be happy where you're going next.
posted by mumkin at 5:22 PM on May 12

Thanks everyone.

Well most of ya are right.. It is a little bit of feeling inferior, confidence, etc.

The place I'm at does have a casual dress code and people are laid-back. I come to work in what I normally wear. I'm just so tired of it, but I feel kind of limited to it because I look like a kid. I had jobs dressed up, I feel good at the beginning but after a while feel like who am I kidding, this ain't me. I feel like some 16 year old kid trying to be an adult, even tho technically I am an adult. I can't get past my outer appearances.

I even got to a point of getting a shrink, but the vibe I got was like this isn't something I should be worrying about.

I guess this isn't just about work, but life in general. I feel this way even outside of work.
posted by 0217174 at 5:29 PM on May 12

I can say I feel the same way sometimes...not in the sense that I am "ghetto" or lower class. but I just dont fit in. Me and my current boss get along very well so this is not a big issue at my current job but i cant be micro-managed which a lot of managers like doing (thankfully not my current one). I also do not have a lot of "excitement" for my job and i just feel like well I do this and do that and then go home, I dont need to show all that passion and all the caring other people do. I also have problems sucking up to people....I refuse to be nice to those who are on top just cause they are on top, since i am nice to everyone this is not an issue but i just cannot go over the top and be nicer to president just cause he is the president.....AND I HATE when we have meetings and a question is asked and people find a million ways to NOT answer the question and instead of saying "I dont know" or "I dont have it" go like "well this deliverable has a couple of issues.....first i think that the way you are phrasing your question does not show understanding of ...yada yada" in my head I just go like can you just say yes or no?
posted by The1andonly at 6:32 PM on May 12

"I guess this isn't just about work, but life in general. I feel this way even outside of work."

I definitely get you. Don't let this mess up your job, though - you will feel MUCH worse when you're unemployed/underemployed. Have you considered doing some volunteer work? As a web professional, there should be a lot of opportunities for you to help either teach basic web skills or assist in building non-profit websites. It's amazing what helping others can do for your self-esteem. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that there are other people in the world that are worse off than we are - it gets us out of our heads and builds gratitude for what we have. Also, try and stop comparing yourself to other people - it's a recipe for misery and builds a lot of false perceptions. Try talking to your co-workers and find commonality - you might be surprised to find that others have a much higher opinion of you than you have of yourself.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 6:42 PM on May 12

Maybe you would be happier at a company that deals with physical stuff instead of a yahoogle-ish sort of place. Someplace where what the company does boils down to manufacturing widgets in the right way, or moving widgets to the right place at the right time. Some business that's not as glamorous as a yahoogle.
posted by yohko at 7:14 PM on May 12

you will feel MUCH worse when you're unemployed/underemployed.


This is very true.......can you go back to the days when you didnt have a job and you were desperately looking for one...how did you feel then?
posted by The1andonly at 8:07 PM on May 12

I'm going to bring it back to the freelance suggestion, but with the following twist: why don't you create a web design/development business that caters to blue collar clients? You have a set of skills that could be very useful to the kind of people you feel you best relate to.

With each passing year, homeowners looking for plumbers and electricians and the like will probably be much more inclined to use the one who has a website. I imagine they'd be more inclined still to use the one with a quality website. And a great many blue collar businesses still don't have any web presence at all, so it's a growth market. It just might let you keep the career you've got, and gain the associations you crave.

Just a thought.
posted by donmateo at 11:37 AM on May 13