Comments on: Therapist/Psychologist recommendation for Nashville TN?

Question: Therapist/Psychologist recommendation for Nashville TN?

Anonymous — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:30:49 -0800

Therapist/Psychologist recommendation for south-west Nashville TN? Which do I need? More longish details inside. Okay, I give.

I've been dealing with mild to moderate social anxiety for the past 10 years or so and either resultant or companion depression. I feel like I finally need to do something about it.

Here's a little background:

At first, I figured I was just depressed because my life sucked. (Which would be a completely natural reaction in my opinion, and not warranting seeking professional help.) So I went about fixing my life.

Today, I have a great BF who I live with; no debt; a great new(ish) job (by the stick with which outsiders would judge), with great benefits, despite never having attended college. I've traveled, have side interests, and don't suffer from the same soul sucking loneliness that I did when I was alone.

But my new job has been tough. The pace is slower than what I'm used to, and rather than reveling in my lower workload (and consequently increased web surfing time), I have a hard time making it through the days. I feel like I've gotten this fantastic job, and I'm not sure why I can't appreciate it.

The work is easy, but I also struggle on a social level and feel isolated.

I rarely talk to anyone (even in my own department) except regarding business, or a passing hello in hallways. I don't feel like I have much in common with most of the people where I work, but by the same token, that obviously can't be the only issue.

Meetings cause me distress. 15 minutes before I'll start double checking to make sure I have the right room, and that I know where the room is. I'm still new, so if I have no clue, I dread having to ask someone for directions. I wonder about what time I should leave to walk over the conference room. If I leave too early, I might arrive to an empty room, if I leave too late, I'll be there after everyone. If I arrive early, what if someone else is having a meeting in the room? Then what??

And so on and so on ad nauseum.

Apply the same spirialing thought pattern to most social interactions - lunches, dinners, drinks.

Outside of work, things are somewhat improved, but I'm still prone to bouts of feeling like I'm not accomplishing everything I need to personally (which leads to me feeling crappy and not doing anything at all). There are days where I just feel miserable and dark, for no apparent reason. People have never accused me of being happy go lucky.

So here's the question:

I guess I should see someone, but I don't know what type of professional to see, or who in the area is good. I'm female, in my late 20s, and would prefer seeing a professional who is good with creative/computer technical people. Seeing a 60yr who doesn't understand the internet won't work, but neither will someone who's my own age. Too much like talking to a peer.

I don't know the benefits of drugs, but the side effects seem worse than the disease. I'm not sure I'd want to go down that route, unless it would suddenly make the world rainbow colors. That, perhaps, would be worth it.

Throw away email address: talktome321@gmail.com

By: xotis

xotis — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:53:14 -0800

Here's what I always recommend to people when they say to me "I want to see a psychologist/shrink/therapist, but I don't know what the first step to finding one is..."

First, gather 5 or 6 phone numbers for different psychologists. You can get these numbers by going to the website of your medical insurance provider. They will often have a list of people. Pick 5 or 6 that are at locations that are easy for you to get to. If there is no website, call your provider and ask them who is in your network, etc. You can also ask friends who are seeing a psychologist to ask for a reccomendation on your behalf, to get a number that way.

Next, set aside about an hour to call them all in succession. You are going to spend about 5 minutes on the phone with each of them 'interviewing' them to make sure you click before you ever go in for your first visit. At the end of the hour that you've spent calling the different psychologists, pick the one you click with the best. If you don't want to call from home, book yourself into a conference room at work over your lunch hour and make the calls from there. Or call from your car in a parking lot, etc.

Here are some general questions I like to ask them:

Start with Are you currently accepting new patients? then move on to questions such as...
What are your thoughts on cognitive behavioral therapy, or other therapies that don't involve medication?
What are your thoughts on medication?
Do you help people deal with (insert issue here - in your case 'general anxiety')?

And then, if it sounds like youre starting to click, say Here's the deal. I've been dealing with mild to moderate social anxiety for the past 10 years or so. This is what Id like to work on with you.

Depending on their responses, you'll know if you're clicking with them. If you click with one of them, ask them when the earliest is that you can set up an appointment that mutually works with your schedules.

Also, if after your first visit you don't feel like you clicked with them in the way you thought you would, don't hesitate to start over from scratch, interviewing more psychologists. The key is to find a good psychologist that meshes well with YOU. :)

By: jasper411

jasper411 — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:03:51 -0800

What you've got is highly treatable, so I'd enthusiastically advise that you seek out a therapist. Meds might or might not be helpful - you might want to first give the talking modality a try and then move to trying out meds if/when you feel the need. You sound like you'd do well with cognitive-behavioral approaches, as they are very skills oriented, and you sound like a practical person who is comfortable learning new skills and applying them..

There have been MANY AskMe threads about choosing a therapist. The bottom line for me is that you're a health care consumer and you should seek and judge a therapist as you would any other service. Ask for recommendations from friends, co-workers, doctors, whoever. There are also various local referral lines and web pages - looks like the Nashville Psychological Association website is down, but that can be a good place to start once it gets fixed.

But regardless of what anyone else may say, the real test is what *you* feel like when you meet the person. Ask him/her frank questions about what it would be like to work with them, and move on to a different one if you feel like they aren't answering your questions in a way that makes sense to you. Apply the same approach after you choose someone - a certain amount of history-taking is important, but make sure that, on the whole, you are talking about things that are important to you, and that you're talking about them in a way that makes sense and contributes to your well-being.

If you feel like you're not making any progress within a few months, make sure the therapist knows you feel that way. Remember, you're the boss -- you are hiring a therapist, go ahead and fire them if they aren't working for you.