birthday gift dilemma

May 8, 2008 7:44 AM

My wife's birthday is May 18th (not this Sunday but next). I have gotten her a Mac laptop. I should receive it today via Fedex. Should I give it to her this weekend or wait until the official day? We don't have a party planned, ie it'll be just us. I could give it to her early and give her smaller gifts (e.g. a music CD) on the 18th. or I could wait ....
posted by allelopath to society & culture (22 comments total)

Give it to her on the actual day! It'll make the day that much more special.
posted by cachondeo45 at 7:49 AM on May 8, 2008

Yeah. Wait for the day.. there's something about a surprise like that; it's wonderful for everyone involved.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:50 AM on May 8, 2008

Wait until the day, unless your wife hates waiting. While getting prezzies just because you're special is fun, sticking with the day is more traditional, and since it's sans party, will make the day extra special. Surpise her by gift wrapping and giving it to her the morning of the 18th.

(User bias: Family is missing -her- birthday on the 17th, and while she likes gifts, it feels wrong to hold it off the day, like deciding to hold Christmas in early June because the weather's nicer)
posted by Phalene at 7:50 AM on May 8, 2008

I'd wait a couple of days after her birthday and then hand it to her unwrapped mumbling something like, "I didn't forget, I swear..."

Birthdays in a marriage should always be a referendum on how much the other person is willing to put up with. Last year, I got my wife a mop and a carburetor for a 64 Chevette.
posted by MarkAnd at 7:54 AM on May 8, 2008

wait for the actual day.
posted by WizKid at 7:58 AM on May 8, 2008

Well, since there may be new MacBook models out at WWDC (June 9th) perhaps you should give it to her ASAP. Ten extra days of most-recent-Mac-model-ownership-happiness is worth a lot to some ;)
posted by avocade at 7:59 AM on May 8, 2008

I should add: the fact that the gift is a mac laptop will not be a surprise. We have been talking about it for a couple months, deciding what she needs.
posted by allelopath at 8:01 AM on May 8, 2008

yeah, but still. there's that whole suspense thing anyway. and since it's just the two of y'all, might as well wait, have some cake and fun.
posted by cachondeo45 at 8:05 AM on May 8, 2008

It will be hard for you to wait, because that is an awesome gift and she will love it and you will both be excited. But I would rather get a kickass gift like that on my actual birthday. I think it makes the day special. Wake her up by turning it on! *mac-bong-noise*
posted by theredpen at 8:08 AM on May 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Give it to her on her birthday! Nothing makes an actual birthday more fun than getting to open your big present on the actual day! I almost always know what I'm getting from my husband, but I still love being forced to wait until the day of to open it and play with it.
posted by tastybrains at 8:13 AM on May 8, 2008

Make her wait. I bought my fiance an extravagant gift for Christmas one year. It arrived around December 8, and I put it in a much larger box and put heavy and noisy stuff in the box (pennies, canned food, paper that crinkled, phone books). I set the box on the hall table so he had to pass it each day when he came home. It drove him CRAZY. He was shaking it and weighing it, to no avail. He could not possibly guess the contents. He was really delighted on 12:01 Christmas morning.
posted by desjardins at 8:14 AM on May 8, 2008

speaking as someone who hates waiting (and knows what my birthday will bring this year), i asked to receive it on the actual day. i have the day off and look forward to getting the chance to spend the entire day fiddling with my newest toy.
posted by ms.jones at 8:15 AM on May 8, 2008

My wife's birthday is the 18th too. She would kill me if I gave her a computer as a birthday gift. I think this is pretty much a personal choice - something you need to figure out.
posted by thomas144 at 8:16 AM on May 8, 2008

I would give her something she can only use with a Mac laptop, like a cool accessory or something, then when she's all like 'What am I supposed to do with this?' you can can be all like 'I don't know maybe you could SHAZZAM!' and pull out the laptop.

(But I'd wait until the day.)
posted by resurrexit at 8:51 AM on May 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

(And thank you thank you thank you, you just reminded me to get my wife's anniversary gift--we don't do birthdays, just the anniversary--when I'm actually in front of a computer!!)
posted by resurrexit at 8:51 AM on May 8, 2008

Wait for the day. My husband is really generous and thoughtful with gifts, but he is a premature gifter--can never wait for the actual day, and usually ends up giving them to me the very day he buys them, making the actual birthday/anniversary/Christmas anticlimactic.
posted by HotToddy at 9:01 AM on May 8, 2008

Give it to her on her birthday, but first boot it up (in private) and set the background to a big birthday cake picture and happy birthday message.
posted by inigo2 at 9:43 AM on May 8, 2008

My wife and I avoid surprises when it comes to large-ish purchases, gift or otherwise, which means we usually both know we're thinking about getting something pretty much as soon as one of us starts seriously considering it. And neither of us really likes artificial waits, so this also means that we usually end up receiving known-in-advance birthday/holiday gifts before the actual birthday or holiday.

This works out great for us—less antsiness, no compromising the actual timing and utility of a fun new thing just for the sake of an arbitrary dateline.

But it's fundamentally a what-works-for-you-two thing. Has she historically liked semi-surprises? Has she historically liked having to wait? Does she know you're getting her a mac, or does she merely know that if you were going to get her something big, it'd be a mac? Have you two talked about the timing of gift-giving, surprises, etc in the past—do you have any precedent to work from? Those seem like the things that will, better than the enthusiasms/preferences of this likeable crowd, actually answer the question for you and your wife.
posted by cortex at 9:48 AM on May 8, 2008

(To put it another way: the question is, regarding your wife, whether she's more about the thrill of the gift and the giving/receiving of same, or the thrill of Things Happening On Her Birthday. Folks go either way, and understanding how she feels about that sort of thing is kind of the key here.)
posted by cortex at 9:50 AM on May 8, 2008

I should add: the fact that the gift is a mac laptop will not be a surprise. We have been talking about it for a couple months, deciding what she needs.

If she already knows about it, I'd give it to her right away. i just went through this same thing with my fiancé and his birthday. I bought him a telescope. But the thing is, I don't know a thing about good low-end telescopes and he had been doing a lot of research. So he picked it out and I bought it.

It arrived a week early and I gave it to him right away. In fact, I had it shipped to his office b/c it was easier than me lugging it home on public transit.

If it was a surprise, I'd make her wait, but for something she knows about, I'd give it to her right away. But only you can know if that would disappoint her.
posted by misskaz at 10:18 AM on May 8, 2008

My boyfriend bought me a mac for Christmas not too long ago. I knew he was buying it for me, and I knew when it arrived. I'm terrible at waiting to get something, so I asked that he give it to me right away. It was awesome and I used it for a final project. Waiting half a month would have killed me.

Since she knows she's getting it, I'd give it to her now. And I like the idea of getting her a small something as a surprise for her birthday. That would be much more awesome than waiting 10 days to get what you already know you're getting. Some nice chocolate, or flowers, or a book still give her the element of happy surprise on her birthday proper.
posted by lilac girl at 11:22 AM on May 8, 2008

Which day do you want the, um, "reciprocation?" ;>

(I'd wait until the actual day, unless you know she would appreciate using her spare time on the weekend to fiddle with it...assuming she has weekend spare time.)
posted by catkins at 1:02 PM on May 8, 2008