Help me write a statement supporting my request for a pay rise

May 5, 2008 12:13 AM

I recently got promoted. Hurrah for me! But I badly need help with how to word a statement supporting my request for a payrise.

I applied for a job, which was a position that had been vacant for about six months, knowing that it paid lots more than the job I was in. Other people who have done and/or are doing the same job take home over $200-week more than I do after tax.

But when I got the job, I was told that, no I would not be getting a pay rise.

At the time I said, politely but firmly, that I thought it was reasonable to expect my significantly increased responsibilities to be reflected in my remuneration. My boss said he agreed and that I would get a pay rise in the middle of the year.

And he asked me to write him a short statement supporting my request for a raise.

I think I’ve got a pretty good case, but I’m not sure exactly how to word the statement. Especially the bit where I ask for A LOT more dollars. Or whether I should mention the extra expenses I’ve incurred in taking up the job.

These extra expenses are big ones. I’ve had to buy a car which puts me out of pocket about $150/week and move to another town where it’s horrendously expensive to live, taking on massive rent stress in the process. I estimate I’m about $300/week worse off, working five times harder. If I’m honest, this is the reason I want the raise. And it will certainly be the reason I leave if I don’t get it.

But I'm pretty sure it won't hold much sway with those higher up. Or would it? I don't know.

I'm not planning to threaten to quit in my statement. But I'm broke enough that if a decent raise (much more than CPI) is not forthcoming, I won't have much of a choice. I guess, I'd like to communicate just how serious the financial strain is.

And: the people who get paid much more have much, much more experience. So I might expect to be paid a *bit* less. But we do exactly the same job. And, if I do say so, I'm good at my job. I don't mean I'm the most awesomest ever. But I am good enough to be paid fairly for what I do.

Last: my boss is not a callous penny-pinching ogre. He helped me find a good deal on the car, so that saved me a couple of thousand bucks. And he organised for the company to advance me an interest free loan, which I pay back each week, so I could afford to rent a place in the new town. True, it's in the company's interests to get me here doing the job, but those things did help me, and I do appreciate them.

I am, however, still broke.

I’ve got as far as…


Dear Boss

Further to our discussion, I’ve outlined some points in support of a request for a pay rise from my current salary of $not much to $something I can live on.

Increased responsibility
Improved performance
Increased expenses
Increased cost of living

Sincerely
My Name

I was going to flesh out each section with one or two lines. Am I on the right track? Wildly off base? Should I put something at the end to say ''thanks for your consideration'' or similar?

Any suggestions about content and/or wording would be a big help.

posted by t0astie to work & money (10 comments total)

Firstly, if you're $300 a week worse off, and expect to be getting less than $200 a week extra, then taking the job just for the money seems a bit backward.

But:

"In order to fulfill my new role, I have incurred significant expenses due to purchasing a car and moving to a more expensive neighbourhood. The position also carries more responsibility than my previous job, and I believe this should be reflected in the salary."

Etc etc.
posted by twirlypen at 1:01 AM on May 5

My boss said he agreed and that I would get a pay rise in the middle of the year.

Seems like that's a major point. I'd mention it in your "statement." (Though why you have to jump through hoops for something he already promised you is a little unclear to me.)

I'd start with a short opening statement, followed by an ordered list, then close with a brief summary.

Who's the statement for? Just your boss, or his boss et al.?
posted by hjo3 at 1:10 AM on May 5

Re $300 worse off / $200 pay rise: I definitely didn't take the job *just* for the money and I'm prepared to suck up some extra expense for the experience the job offers. But not to the point of sobbing on pay day each week as I have to choose between food and petrol, or waking up at night having panic attacks about the rent, which is where things are at now.

Re the statement: I think it's for his boss. And he didn't promise - he just said he agreed that I was right about it being reasonable to have the extra responsibility reflected in my pay and it would have to wait until mid-year.
posted by t0astie at 1:53 AM on May 5

I'm not sure how to word the whole thing, but I do think you need to be sure to make the point that you're now giving back a lot more value to the company. Make it about what they're getting out of the arrangement more than about what you deserve (or your bills). This is what their bottom line cares about and should be your reason why you deserve the raise. So it's not so much that you have more responsibility but that you're producing work for them at a higher level. Outline all the ways in which you're now more valuable. The point about being paid fairly for what you do is also sound and can be a good way to sneak in the idea that someone else may be willing to do this if your company isn't.

You've been doing the new job long enough now to prove yourself, and also long enough that you're now more valuable than any new experienced person they could hire in to replace you (since you have local knowledge etc). Definitely time for them to step up and recognise this with an appropriate pay increase. Good luck!
posted by shelleycat at 3:38 AM on May 5

And he didn't promise - he just said he agreed that I was right about it being reasonable to have the extra responsibility reflected in my pay and it would have to wait until mid-year.

Then it sounds like he promised something he couldn't personally deliver on, and he's now asking you to give him reasons that he can pass along. Might want to leave out the part where your boss said you'd get the raise mid-year, unless you don't mind making him look bad or get into trouble.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:43 AM on May 5 [1 favorite]

If you can put any info in there about standard market salaries for your position, that would probably help your case as well. My first thought is to check salary.com; there are probably other good resources as well, but they've always served me well when I'm negotiating for a new geek position. :) Along the same line of thought, could you put in something about prior/current salary ranges for others who did the same job?
posted by tigerjade at 4:54 AM on May 5

Start by mentioning the conversation with your boss about pay when you first got promoted. Then emphasise the extra responsibility, the fact that you perform in the role (what performance indicators apply and how you exceed/meet them - especially as you say you lack formal experience in the new role) and competitive pay for the role in your area - the cost of living is factored the local going rate of pay so I wouldn't even mention it.

That highlights that you have been prepared to work at an uncompetitive salary to show your commitment, that you have now proved your worth but also that you are aware of what you could be earning elsewhere...added benefit is that you can easily update your CV with this information and move on if you have to...
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:22 AM on May 5

Since you're a journalist with little experience, I think you're in a much different position than people in other industries. Your boss is probably under pressure from his bosses to cut costs and by hiring you, he did. You do a whole lot of work, the work of multiple people, for the price of one.
It seems this is increasingly common in the industry and getting a raise isn't as simple, now, as explaining how much you bring to the paper.

It might be a good idea to send this question to Joe Grimm for his Ask the Recruiter column on Poynter.org and also search through his archive of questions about raises to see how other people are handling this same situation. He gives great advice and is respected in the industry.

(I am also a journalist.)
posted by PinkButterfly at 6:11 AM on May 5

A couple of tips:

1. NEVER frame your request for a raise around your personal financial hardship. This makes you look weak. And frankly, the company doesn't really care.
2. DO be clear about how you're going to either earn the company more OR provide higher value.

Be prepared to layout a plan. Be clear and forthcoming. Say, "I want to be earning X, and here's what I plan to do to be worth it. Can you help me?"
posted by cptnrandy at 8:35 AM on May 5

I'm in the UK so this might be different where you are, but here you would expect to get some remuneration for moving to take on a job. Have you had that? Have you asked?
posted by biffa at 2:49 AM on May 6