"thats the way we like to" do it

May 4, 2008 6:23 AM

face down, ass up - what do you call that in bed? (possibly NSFW)

oftentimes during foreplay, i like - no, love - to play w my girlfriend (of five years) while she is on all fours, on hands and knees, etc. - doggy style, but without the guy.

a lotta times, it is perfectly natural to nudge her in that direction, or somehow manipulate her body with my hands and arms, and she is mostly always perfectly willing and happy to oblige. but sometimes, it is not so natural to merely nudge her, so i have to use words to tell her i would like her to get into that position.

but i am pretty sure i have yet to come up with the best-sounding words to make this happen smoothly without sounding either too crude or too explanatory. describing it in a post online is one thing, but "baby, can you please get on all fours - you know, like were gonna do it doggystyle but without the penetretive sex? thanks!" seems a bit much.

anybody got some phrasing suggestions? guys that can tell me what their girls like, girls that can tell me what they like their guys to say? how would most women feel if their lover said "baby, get on all fours."?

we are perfectly able to enjoy rougher play with more dominant language, but i am looking for something not so necessarily dominant.

thanks!

posted by gcat to human relations (27 comments total)

in yoga apparently it is the final pose in cat flow.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:33 AM on May 4, 2008

how would most women feel if their lover said "baby, get on all fours."?

Most women don't matter here, your girlfriend of five years does. Talk to her about what she would find sexy in this situation, talk to her about what you find sexy and boom, ya'll are in business.

But I suspect you're overthinking this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:35 AM on May 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

flip over?
posted by greta simone at 6:41 AM on May 4, 2008

But I suspect you're overthinking this.

honestly, im really not. yes, some thought went into composing my post, but im not obsessing over this. its just a question.

but no, youre right. communication is key, and usually we are on top of that, though for some reason i felt naturally inclined to check elsewhere first. but i will definitely follow up on that.

ok, off to work.
posted by gcat at 6:45 AM on May 4, 2008

I just say "roll over." Then, once she has rolled over I might say "up," "down," or "flat" to clarify how exactly I want her positioned (up = hands and knees; down = face down; etc).

It probably looks rude when written, but it's just the shorthand we've developed for all those other words that don't need to be said every time: "honey, would you please roll over and get in this specific position, with your head up here" etc. After a few times, the repetitive words can be tossed and you can shorten things down to the essentials. A brief phrase like "roll over," "on your knees," "from behind," etc, works just fine to signal what you want; it's dominant or begging depending on how you say it.

I'd have trouble saying "on all fours!" with a straight face, but if it works for you go for it. I'd probably be more comfortable with something a bit cruder like "ass in the air!" but that also might be hard to say without giggling. Totally depends on the context.
posted by Forktine at 7:01 AM on May 4, 2008

"On your hands and knees" is a bit prosaic, perhaps, but it seems like it would do the job.
posted by lore at 7:10 AM on May 4, 2008

Assume the position.
posted by dmd at 7:20 AM on May 4, 2008 [8 favorites]

Why not just suggest how she needs to change position at the time? For example, if she's sitting, say, "Get your butt into the air," or if she's laying down, say, "Get up on your hands and knees." I don't think you need one phrase to describe that position.

Personally I wouldn't like to be told to get up "on all fours" because that's too much like how we refer to animals. But your girlfriend might be different.
posted by christinetheslp at 7:25 AM on May 4, 2008

kowtow
posted by jouke at 8:00 AM on May 4, 2008

You should quote the inimitable Artist Formerly Known as Prince Then As Funny Symbol With No Name But Now Known as Prince Again:

"Now move your big ass 'round this way
So I can work on that zipper, baby "
posted by crazylegs at 8:04 AM on May 4, 2008

that also might be hard to say without giggling

This is a problem?
posted by spaceman_spiff at 8:31 AM on May 4, 2008

I'm guessing 2 Live Crew is going to be a little cruder than you want, but that's what I've heard it called . . . (uh, NSFW)
posted by The Bellman at 8:34 AM on May 4, 2008

something like "mmm, roll over." then when she does, "mm. raise your hips". a bit of stroking and encouraging with hands can help here, too.

depending on how verbal and conversational you are during sex or else before or after, you could say something like "i really like it when you're in that stretched-out cat pose" when describing it.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:39 AM on May 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

Locally that is sometimes refered to as "four on the floor"

I always thought it had a nice ring to it.
posted by vonliebig at 8:44 AM on May 4, 2008

My partner and I call this "the B side." Like, on a 45 record.
posted by Riverine at 9:00 AM on May 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

I call that the best damn Ludacris song EVER.

.... and my boyfriend either tells me to get on all fours and then pushes down on my back, or he manipulates me into that position.
posted by damnjezebel at 9:18 AM on May 4, 2008

I can't back it up, but I think the Kama Sutra calls it 'the Deer'. If you're searching for less-loaded terminology I don't think you can get more innocuous than that. Even if it's not accurate, you can pretend it is...
posted by dragstroke at 9:48 AM on May 4, 2008

My partner and I say, "On your knees." We know what that means. :)
posted by CwgrlUp at 10:09 AM on May 4, 2008

I think "ass up, honey" is perfectly understandable. Because your ass can't be up unless you're face down.
posted by desuetude at 10:11 AM on May 4, 2008 [5 favorites]

"let me get behind you" could be mutually understood to mean this kind of foreplay between you two.
posted by sweetmarie at 11:28 AM on May 4, 2008

You guys should just come up with your own name for it and choose a name that you both feel comfortable with. She may not even know that it's something special for you; having the naming ceremony may clarify that for her which in turn may help it to naturally occur more frequently and without prompting.
posted by TheManChild2000 at 12:16 PM on May 4, 2008

Buns up kneelin', according to FZ
posted by TedW at 3:02 PM on May 4, 2008

Could you get into my favourite position, baby? Mmmm.... that's perfect!
posted by happyturtle at 3:15 PM on May 4, 2008

bottoms up?
posted by Space Kitty at 3:40 PM on May 4, 2008

You should just make up your own word for the position/move. Always works for me. For instance, I have this one ex who really liked to be chunkered...
posted by dobbs at 4:34 PM on May 4, 2008

When he is in the mood to vocalize, my partner whispers into my ear, "I want to take you from behind." Otherwise he just grabs my ankles and flips me. That sounds rough, but we usually have very vigorous workouts with many position changes.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:16 PM on May 4, 2008

hey, thanks for the responses, everyone.

ha ha, damn, i freakin love kowtow (never knew the actual definition until now) and "four on the floor" - that is too funny. i will definitely be trying those (even if jokingly). and "assume the position" is nice, too.

anyway, it usually happens something like rmd1023 and desuetude - and others -describe.

and the yoga cat pose thing sounds like something to keep in mind. though i gotta say (and please do forgive my sexual narrowness), given the mindset i was in and the sexual context of my question, i was just a tad unprepared to see a guy in that pose. no offense to anyone. do your own thing, right? it was just funny, is all.

damn, i wish i could give kowtow 2 best answers.
posted by gcat at 6:38 AM on May 5, 2008