How to meet people with similar interests.

May 2, 2008 3:44 PM

How do I meet people with similar interests?

I've read all the "How To Make Friends" posts, but most of them lean in the direction of actually becoming friends with people once you've met them. My problem is actually meeting people with similar interests. I'm pretty sure that once I could find them, I could befriend them fairly easily.

I've recently moved to Annapolis, MD while my fiancee finishes her degree at St. John's. I'm relatively happy here - I love the town and I love my new job, but I don't have any real friends. My fiancee's friends are nice and tolerable, but I can't really see myself becoming friends with any of them.

I tend to be pretty talkative, and love to geek out about new things I've discovered - particularly music. However, my fiancee and I have wildly divergent tastes, and she's getting pretty sick of hearing me ramble about the new R. Kelly single that she couldn't care less about. I really need to find a group of friends who I can talk to about dance/r&b/indie rock/etc, or who will at least argue with me about them - preferably over a few beers. I've had no such luck. I'm pretty sure I could find likeminded people in Baltimore or DC, but I don't have a car. I can borrow my fiancee's, but not regularly enough to maintain a group of friends a 30 minute drive away.

Help!

posted by clcapps to society & culture (8 comments total)

Have you checked out meetup.com? It allows you to find other people in your area with similar interests to meet up and hang out. That's how I met a lot of darling, cupcake-loving people.
posted by blithely at 4:01 PM on May 2

Sites like Meetup.com, Upcoming.org, and the Groups and Events features on Facebook are all good places to find events to go to matching your interests.
posted by lsemel at 4:19 PM on May 2

Well, exercise your interests. If you read, join a book club. If you ride a motorcycle, go to bike night. If you're into music, find a neighborhood venue (bar or coffeehouse) that features artists you like.

It also helps to be exceptional. Not necessarily exceptionally good, but atypical. If you're the only [yankee] in [your Southern town] or [Anglo guy] in [the Mexican grocery], people have an automatic conversation-starter.

I also recommend volunteering. Habitat for Humanity or a Hands On project can be a great way to meet people who have their acts together.
posted by workerant at 4:44 PM on May 2

Also, MeetIn....no Annapolis, but Baltimore and WashDC.
posted by hulahulagirl at 5:20 PM on May 2

This is a common problem. I hear it all the time. In fact, I feel it much of the time. I seem to have a large circle of acquaintances, can meet a lot of people, but have trouble converting these into what I consider friendships. So, I'm not here to offer any answers (many of the above are probably good ideas), but only to let you know you are not alone with this, it's very common and ---- good luck!
posted by Gerard Sorme at 7:09 PM on May 2

You might try figuring out what specifically you'd like from a group, and then putting out a meetup announcement on Craigslist - I did that in Chicago when I moved there and wanted to meet people with great success (specifically, I made my own "(Sci-Fi) Books and Beer Club," and got plenty of interest from people similarly interested in geekiness and beer within a day of posting it). I suspect that a lot of times, whatever interests you have are usually things that many other people share and would be interested in getting together to discuss, if only someone would take that first step to put forth the suggestion. Good luck, whatever you end up trying!
posted by zeph at 7:41 PM on May 2

(ugh, talk about lousy phrasing - I meant to say that I "did that in Chicago with great success, when I moved there and wanted to meet people" ... bad, bad syntax!)
posted by zeph at 7:45 PM on May 2

I go to the college across the street. While I don't hang around the bars, Armadillo's (by the city dock) and Ram's Head (on West Street near Church Circle) have live music most nights. I think Armadillo's has a lot of local artists. Those might be good places to start.
posted by wtdoor at 7:13 AM on May 3