How can I cheer up friends who had to cancel their vacation?

April 29, 2008 12:21 PM

Friends are canceling a long-awaited vacation because one of them is ill again. She's been sick, on and off, for several years and both were looking forward to a respite in Hawaii, where until 2005 they traveled 2x a year. What can I do to show my love and support?

So my friend Darla has something of a delicate constitution. She is in her 50's and has been ill a lot recently requiring lots of doctor/hospital visits. She often cannot sleep at night due to the pain and has multiple health problems plaguing her. She and her husband love Hawaii. Until 2005, they traveled to Kauai twice annually, have a tropical vegetation themed yard and have (tastefully) decorated their home in Hawaiiana. Think those awesome old menus in Hawaiian wood frames with indoor palm trees and stuff.

She's been too sick to travel recently but finally they were going to go to Hawaii next month, rent their favorite house and spend some time snorkeling, surfing, hiking, etc. (Darla is an expert surfer)

But now they have to cancel it. Darla's husband is sad and disappointed about it; Darla feels so bad and down about it that she can't even talk about it.

I have a close relationship with them; is there anything you guys can think of that could cheer them up or allow me to reach out to them in some way? I've thought of Hawaiian books, or a basket of goodies from Hawaii (though no idea where to get them). Flowers are probably out since they have better protea, ginger, plumeria, and bird of paradise than I could get from a florist. Also, I don't want to send anything that would make them feel worse!

Any ideas? Thanks.

posted by stewiethegreat to human relations (11 comments total)

Do you live close by? If so, how about hosting a luau? But, I don't know if your friend would be up to that or if it would indeed make them feel worse.

Another idea - getting all of Magnum PI on DVD. It's set in Hawaii. And it's got Tom Selleck in it with short shorts. Can't go wrong!
posted by Sassyfras at 12:27 PM on April 29

Throw a party - a luau, of course!

I would team up with her husband to pull it off. It would be a good way for you to say, "I care" and a great way for him to say, "Hawaii is good, but you're the best."
posted by stuboo at 12:29 PM on April 29

thirding the luau idea. what a bummer for them. i hope she gets to feeling better soon!
posted by thinkingwoman at 12:35 PM on April 29

Before everyone gets too excited about a luau- they're about 800 miles from me. I'll probably be seeing them in July, and maybe I can plan for then, but I would like to do something sooner.

A luau is an awesome idea, though.
posted by stewiethegreat at 12:37 PM on April 29

A Hawaiian music CD? I don't know anything about this kind of music, but if you know what they like, maybe that plus some freshly-shipped pineapple could evoke Hawaii. If that's what you want to do.

It might be best to focus on other things that she likes -- maybe gardening at home, or just talking.
posted by amtho at 12:41 PM on April 29

Before everyone gets too excited about a luau- they're about 800 miles from me. I'll probably be seeing them in July, and maybe I can plan for then, but I would like to do something sooner.

How about...

Calling the husband and arranging a date for the luau in July (while you're in town).

Then send her a packet of Hawaiian themed invitations to send out to her friends.
posted by stuboo at 12:44 PM on April 29

YMMV, but it I had to cancel a vacation, the last thing I'd want is to be reminded of what I'm missing. I'm not sure how your friend feels about it - maybe it would be a good idea to gently probe her sensitivity about it?

What about some kind of general pampering package of some sort? Food she loves (but not necessarily Hawaiian), a book she'd enjoy, fluffy luxurious bathrobe, the most awesome slippers ever, really nice lotions and soap etc. Or just a huge, knockout bouquet of flowers - this place has the most breathtaking arrangements, for example.
posted by thread_makimaki at 12:55 PM on April 29

maybe you can book a night or two at a local hotel for your friend and her husband? Perhaps her husband would be willing to split the cost with you? A hotel that is near by to their home and her doctors is ideal, in case she isn't feeling well. Maybe the hotel will have a spa or pool that they could enjoy? It will take away the "hawaii" theme (so as not to remind them of what they're missing) but still give them a little mini-vacation
posted by dm_nyc at 2:29 PM on April 29 [1 favorite]

YMMV, but it I had to cancel a vacation, the last thing I'd want is to be reminded of what I'm missing.

I agree with this 100%. dm_nyc has it--maybe there is a special or interesting destination that she could make it to easily enough, but would still allow her and her husband to make some memories...
posted by sondrialiac at 3:45 PM on April 29

Checked with the husband- he thinks Hawaiian parties, books, music, or a food basket is a great idea. So we're going forward with the Hawaiian stuff!
posted by arnicae at 10:04 PM on April 29

Oops. . .that should be, Check with the husband, if he thinks it's a great idea, go forward with the Hawaiian stuff! Dur . . . Shouldn't be posting on metafilter this late at night.

Personally, I'd like something else relaxing. Maybe a massage?
posted by arnicae at 10:09 PM on April 29