22 year old living with late 20s/30s?

April 25, 2008 5:52 PM

I landed a great job in the San Francisco bay area, sweet! But I'm only 22, and all the roommate-wanted listings on craigslist seem to feature people in their late 20s to 30s. Am I wasting their/my time applying to them?

Would people in their late 20s to 30s consider living with someone my age, or is that a terrible idea? I feel like it wouldn't be a problem, as I'm generally pretty mature, but never having been 30 it's not really my place to say.

I'm moving out of a place in college which just had a first year roommate and it was awful having to deal with that. Obviously people tend to change a lot through college (usually, I've found, anyways), but is the same true for people through their twenties? Or I am lucky enough to be in the specifics-unimportant "twenty-something" group I've heard about?

posted by patr1ck to human relations (17 comments total)

The best roommate I ever had was someone 8 years my junior. So I think it isn't necessarily about age, and more about expectations. Broadly speaking, people in their late 20s/into their 30s may be more inclined to room with someone who keeps (semi-)regular hours, won't be loud (at least not at bad hours), can clean up after themselves, and will pay rent/bills on time. The issue is presenting yourself as that kind of person (assuming that you are!).
posted by scody at 5:58 PM on April 25, 2008

You'll be fine.
posted by The World Famous at 6:01 PM on April 25, 2008

Everyone is different. Can't really speak generally about this. Reply to some postings, meet up and see how it goes.
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb at 6:01 PM on April 25, 2008

Things do change from 22 to 28.
Whether any particular roommate will blackball you purely for age is something you'll just have to test out. People in their late 20s, and even more so people in their 30s, will probably be more selective about roommates since they've had to deal with more bad ones.

You *may* be able to send a signal in how you handle the getting-in-touch process. Don't be flaky. Write always in complete, articulate sentences, including such key information as: I have a responsible job, I prefer to keep reasonable hours for a working person, I'm not a smoker/big drinker, I am very clean and respectful about shared spaces, I'm conscientious about bills, I don't have or want any personal drama, etc. (But of course, if these things aren't really true, you'll save yourself a headache by just finding other early 20s housemates.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:03 PM on April 25, 2008

No problem. You are a twenty-something.
posted by anthill at 6:07 PM on April 25, 2008

It can't hurt to send an email to anywhere that interests you. Some people probably don't care, while others probably do. Different houses have different setups. Some people want friends, others want someone they never see. It's kind of a numbers game.

People do definitely change, particularly those first couple years out of college. I would expect you'd have more success with people a little closer to your own age, like 24-26. While we're talking about preconceptions that might unfairly work against you, you might also have more luck with people who are newer to SF. Finding common interests will help counteract some of the bias.

I'm sure you weren't planning to put this in any email, but just in case, the part about "I feel like it wouldn't be a problem, as I'm generally pretty mature" undermines your point. (It's the kind of thing someone young would say but not someone older, partially because no 50-year-old feels the need to defend their maturity.)
posted by salvia at 6:13 PM on April 25, 2008

You'll find in SF that there's not as huge a difference in lifestyle between 22 and 35 as there is in say - the midwest.

As said before -- you'll be fine.
posted by bitdamaged at 6:15 PM on April 25, 2008

I wish the bus were as fast as AskMe. Thanks for the great responses all!
posted by patr1ck at 6:18 PM on April 25, 2008

I wish the bus were as fast as AskMe. Thanks for the great responses all!

Ha. You'll LOVE Muni.

As a mid-30s renter, I sublet a room to someone in their mid-20s. It was all about how the prospective roommate interview went. The guy we ended up choosing we chose not because of his age, or lack thereof, but because he seemed like a nice, considerate guy. And plus, we were sort of amused about having a youngster in the house. He was entertaining.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 6:28 PM on April 25, 2008

I live in the Bay Area and am 29 and I live with someone who is 22. It's going well so far. I wouldn't sweat it!
posted by rlef98 at 7:52 PM on April 25, 2008

Our last housemate was fresh out of college and she was great to live with. I was a little concerned about how young she was (given that we're ancient 40-whatevers who clearly spend their Friday evenings hanging out on Metafilter) but she came across as very responsible in her emails and in person. It's more about matching lifestyles (up late/up early, tolerance for noise/creation of noise, etc.) than ages, although age is often a good proxy for lifestyle, or at least used that way in screening multiple craigslist emails. If you want to live with folks older than you, put that in your email, with why. If you just don't want to be screened out because of your age, say that, along with *why* you're not going to live up to their expectations of a 22 year old. You'll be fine.
posted by gingerbeer at 8:25 PM on April 25, 2008

Just to give you another perspective, I am 31 and recently went through a long Craigslist-assisted roommate search. I was looking for candidates my own age and we ended up picking a 32 year old. I wanted someone who was past the "party" stage of their social life, had a solid understanding of life, their career, etc. and who wasn't bright eyed and naiive. Of course, I also teach undergrads so I need a bit of separation from people 10 years younger than me. Obviously from all the answers above YMMV.
posted by alicetiara at 8:33 PM on April 25, 2008

know this: ask for references on the person and have coffee with those references. i cannot emphasize this enough. i learned this lesson by (a very unpleasant) experience. make sure the person is who he/she says he/she is.
posted by ncc1701d at 9:02 PM on April 25, 2008

I know many 22-year-olds who are living with older roommates in SF and the south bay. Furthermore, a lot of those people found their current housing while stuck in Tucson, AZ. You'll be fine.
posted by crinklebat at 9:47 PM on April 25, 2008

When you reply to an ad, describe your best qualities, like willingness to vacuum, keeping bathroom & kitchen tidy, respectful of property. If you have great rugs, furniture, cooking skills, etc., describe. Mentioning your awesome high-powered sound system, or saxophone lessons, not so much. Say what your job is, and give landlord & roommate references.

Most roommate issues are about cleaning, respect of property, bill-paying & noise. Coolness, wit, etc., are nice, but if you cover the important stuff, you'll be welcome.
posted by theora55 at 8:22 AM on April 26, 2008

I live in SF and I'm 19... I've lived in 4 different places so far and I haven't had a problem yet! People care about maturity, which is not always a number... act responsible, and they might not even believe you're 22!
posted by Maia at 9:09 AM on April 26, 2008

It's cool, but don't mention your age unless asked.

Just say 20-something college graduate who already has a job in SF. The job part is important because so many people move to "the big city" with no job and a completely unrealistic financial plan--recipe for roommate disaster.

Sure, mention that you're neat, but mostly tell them about who you are and your interests. I got a great place just because my roommate and I both enjoyed writing so it was easy for us to chat.

(this is from finding roommates in NYC as a newly minted 21-year-old)
posted by sondrialiac at 12:05 PM on April 26, 2008