Music Before Marriage

July 24, 2004 5:25 PM

Marriagefilter - I (we) got engaged a few weeks ago, and the wedding planning has started. We're frantically searching (our minds, the intraweb) for pre-ceremony songs. Something along the lines of Sarah Mclachlan, something easy for a male and female vocalist. My fiance is even considering a song by Wynonna. Please lend any suggestions; we're brain dead.
posted by tr33hggr to media & arts (22 comments total)

Mazeltov!

The most important thing to remember is that, except for you, hardly anyone will give a damn about almost every decision you make about your wedding. This gives you freedom!

Think about all the weddings you've been to: did you care what the pre-ceremony songs were, or what order the ceremony proceeded in, or whether the bride's bouquet really complemented her dress as much as it could have, or 99.9% of the other decisions that you might spend a week or more trying to perfect?

The point being, in most things, do whatever the hell you want and it'll work out fine. What the pre-ceremony songs are is, to be blunt, not worth worrying about. The only things worth worrying about at the wedding are how long the ceremony is, what you'll be eating at the reception, and what sort of entertainment there might be there. The only thing you should really be worried about is finding a good honeymoon.

You mean songs while people are being seated and such? I'd just use instrumental classical/baroque/etc music, either through a pa system or by an organist, if you're getting hitched in a church. Lots of stuff by JSBach will work, or Michael Praetorius if you want earlier and less-common. That's easily good enough, gets the job done, and lets you move on to stuff that's more important.

If you have friends or relatives who want to sing, ask them to pick three or four things, and pick which of those you like best. You want to be making as few decisions as possible and delegating what you can.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:59 PM on July 24, 2004

Thanks ROU_X - I like the idea of delegating as many choices as possible to those around us!
posted by tr33hggr at 6:02 PM on July 24, 2004

Oh - reception, all vegetarian, someting to blow the minds of of midwest carnivore friends (eating at a nice place around here is pretty much Applebee's, with a few exceptions), and a 4 piece jazz ensemble for the reception, 5 for a few vocal pieces.

Honeymoon, we're torn. All you can eat/drink/do resort (so we can lie in the sun and drink Mai Tais til we puke), an eco-hut somewhere (no radio, tv), or a spa where we can be pampered. That's one of my tasks, and a future Ask post!
posted by tr33hggr at 6:05 PM on July 24, 2004

Wave, by David Sylvian prayhaps?


Sorry, I don't have a link to a download; the lyrics run thusly:

It seems that I remember
I dreamed a thousand dreams
We'd face the days together
No matter what they'd bring
A strength inside like I'd never known
Opened the door to life and let it go

This sun may shine forever
Upon the back of love
A kingdom raised from ashes
And held within your arms
And should the rain break through the trees
We'll find a shelter there and never leave

I'll run to you, nothing stands between us now
Nothing I can lose
This light inside can never die
Another world just made for two
I'll swim the seas inside with you
And like the waves, without a sound
I'll never let you down

Upon a wave of summer
A hilltop paved with gold
We shut our eyes and made
The promises we hold
A will to guide and see us through
I'd do it all again because of you

I'd tear my very soul to make you mine
posted by vers at 6:36 PM on July 24, 2004

(an aside after the thought - if you ever hear the song on preview, it may not be necessary to include the Frippery guitar, as much as I may love it)
posted by vers at 6:38 PM on July 24, 2004

Along the lines of Sarah McLachlan, you might want to look into the work of Joni Mitchell, Eva Cassidy, Shawn Colvin, and Natalie Merchant. And you can't go wrong with jazz standards. Try Eva Cassidy's "At Last." (Windows Media).
posted by waxpancake at 7:04 PM on July 24, 2004

'Papa was a Rodeo' by the Magnetic Fields. Male/female duet and possibly the best love song ever written.

'Fairytale of New York' by the Pogues. The downside of this tune is that some wedding parties may not cotton to the lyric, "You're an old slut on junk." Nonetheless, it's a winner.

'Jackson' by Johnny Cash and June Carter. Another duet written from the point of view of an old married couple.

Most of my own romantic goals involve finding a woman with whom to sing these songs.

Congrats and good luck.
posted by stet at 8:09 PM on July 24, 2004

Honeymoon, we're torn. All you can eat/drink/do resort (so we can lie in the sun and drink Mai Tais til we puke), an eco-hut somewhere (no radio, tv), or a spa where we can be pampered

Remember that being on a honeymoon gives you a license to be tacky and do tacky things. Do something that's going to be the most vacation-ey, relax-ey thing, and pick something that you're less likely to pick as J. Random Vacation.

Combine some things: Go to somewhere like the USVI, where you can spend a ludicrously expensive day or two being pampered on St. Thomas (or St. John for the big bucks), and then spend some more time in one of the eco-resorts on St. John living in a yurt and finding your animal guide.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:43 PM on July 24, 2004

Something That We Do
by Clint Black

Kinda nice for the married couples in attendence. Lyrics are simplistic, but the tune is sincere. Sung straight through with no instrumental pauses, and is very easy. I don't know if there are different versions around; the version on "Nothing But The Taillights" is good.

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn't something that we find
It's something that we do
It's holding tight, lettin' go
It's flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It's a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn't something that we have
It's something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that we can't tell where I end and where you start

It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There's so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new
We're on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love's not just something that we're in
It's something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start

Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn't just those words we said
It's something that we do
There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do

***

These Are The Days
by Natalie Merchant

These are days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise,
will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know
it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you.

These are days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you
with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.
You'll know
it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you.

These are days.

These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.
posted by Feisty at 10:06 PM on July 24, 2004

I love you guys. Thanks.
posted by tr33hggr at 10:17 PM on July 24, 2004

"Love of my life" by Brian McKnight?
posted by madman at 2:01 AM on July 25, 2004

Are you getting married in a church? You probably know this already, but be sure you check out the music with the minister/priest/rabbi/whatever -- some churches (like the Episcolpalian) don't really want you using secular music.
posted by JanetLand at 5:56 AM on July 25, 2004

Episcopalian, that is.
posted by JanetLand at 6:00 AM on July 25, 2004

Songbird by Fleetwood Mac.
posted by oh posey at 9:44 AM on July 25, 2004

John Martyn - "Couldn't Love You More"

If you kissed the sun right out of the sky for me
And if you told me all the lies that I deserve
And if you laid all night in the rain for me
Well, I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
I couldn't love you more

And if you loved me till my eyes gave no more shade for you
If you walked beside me all the long way home
If you wasted all of your time on me
Well, I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
I couldn't love you more

And if you gave me all the things I'd never ask of you
And if you showed me all the ways you have to cry
And if you laid all night in the rain for me
I couldn't love you more
I just couldn't love you more
Just couldn't love you more

It's a gorgeous song.
posted by davebush at 11:01 AM on July 25, 2004

Funny someone mentioned the Pogues. i was thinking of this song.
posted by dhoyt at 11:40 AM on July 25, 2004

"someting to blow the minds of of midwest carnivore friends"

Most of the carnivores I know really don't enjoy this kind of vegan proselytizing. If they're good enough friends to invite to your wedding, aren't they good enough friends to avoid rubbing their noses in the idea that your dietary choices are inherently superior to theirs?
posted by Irontom at 5:14 AM on July 26, 2004

Irontom, I said nothing like that. My friends here who eat meat have had little exposure to good vegetarian food outside of chain eateries, and (though they haven't tried it) turn up their noses at the idea of tofu.

So, I just want it to be a really pleasant experience for them, ok?

Oh, and thanks so fucking much for addressing my original question, asshole.
posted by tr33hggr at 11:57 AM on July 26, 2004

While Irontom didn't "address your original question," you did come off as more than a little condescending with your carnivore comment, and I think Irontom was just trying to be helpful. And I really don't think you have any right to go off like that and call Irontom an asshole, as your snark about how quaint midwesterners who eat meat are, was not relevant in "address your original question" which was about music.

But hey, it's your party and you can cry if you want to.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:55 PM on July 26, 2004

Snark? Quaint? It's the truth. At no point was I being snarky, but you people have to turn everything into an attack or something. Whatever. Thanks to those who helped.
posted by tr33hggr at 6:45 PM on July 26, 2004

And fuck you too. Seriously.
posted by tr33hggr at 6:46 PM on July 26, 2004

Ok, sorry. But really, pardon me for speaking the truth in a non-accusatory way. Pardon me for using adjectives, and for responding off-topic to ROU_X.
posted by tr33hggr at 6:49 PM on July 26, 2004