I wanna get physical, physi....*huff*huff*puff*puff* aw screw it

April 12, 2008 10:36 AM

Sexcellent solutions for strengthening sexual stamina? Or, what's the best exercise to help me be not so tired during non-solo sexytimes?

I'm an obese 35 year old male and my sexual stamina is just awful these days (well, as of 6 months ago, really). I've always been obese, but I used to be a pretty acrobatic boudoir superstar. Recently, by third or fourth thrust, I'm out of breath, tired, get crampy muscles and have to stop frequently. I'm focused purely on keeping at it and wind up getting nothing from intercourse other than stressed. This makes for no fun for any party involved.

I know the answer is cardio, but what does that really entail? I've spoken with my doctor, and the only info she's really given me is that she thinks 160bpm is a good target to get to while working out, but I know nothing about length of workout, etc.

Over the last year, I've really taken my health in hand: quit smoking a year ago, started a fantastic diet of my own devising two months ago (and am seeing incredible progress: down 30 pounds in 5 weeks so far) and have begun light exercise (brisk walks, a mile and a half at a time).

So, Mefites, please help me figure out a good exercise routine that will a) significantly contribute towards weight loss and toning and, more importantly, b) help me to oil up the sex machine* and make it run without sputtering!

*Even I can't believe that I actually said that.

posted by Cat Pie Hurts to health & fitness (13 comments total)

Start with walking, fast enough to get your heart rate elevated. 160 seems on the high end to me. You actually burn fat better a bit lower in the zone. Anyway, if you want to get a bit more work out than a gym and elliptical machine is easy on your joints (a necessary consideration if you are overweight). A surprisingly small amount of activity will provide a fairly large gain when you are not exercising at all.
posted by caddis at 10:48 AM on April 12, 2008

Squats. Seriously.

Or maybe deadlifts.

Big compound lifts activate lots of muscles in your body, and from what I've read it bumps up your testosterone levels. They say "big biceps are gained in the squat rack" which I believe is another way of saying the same thing.

Having started lifting again after a hiatus, I've noticed an immediate effect and so has my SO ;)
posted by kableh at 10:53 AM on April 12, 2008

Well, I wasn't as heavy as you, but I followed this free advice:

http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

My wife and I started this plan and pretty quickly threw it away and just kept running. Now I'm way, way more in shape. At first it's pretty painful, though. After a run/walk I'd feel like I needed to eat and collapse, but after a couple months I was way better. Been in a healthy routine now for a few years, heath club in bad weather, outside in good. It gets you outside, and if you do it with a friend or S.O., you get quality time with them.

Go for it, you can do it. Just take it easy at first, and concentrate on enjoying your time outdoors, not your progress. I think back and smile about the little running watch beeps...
posted by jeff-o-matic at 11:04 AM on April 12, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Second the couch to 5k plan.
posted by fire&wings at 11:17 AM on April 12, 2008

Seconding heavy compound lifting. When you deadlift >3x what your SO weighs, "acrobatic" things become pretty easy :)
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 11:17 AM on April 12, 2008

To increase your stamina, you want to do a cardiovascular workout like running, biking, swimming, whatever. You've got your target heartrate; you want to keep your heartrate in that range for 30 minutes to an hour a day. An hour is a lot better but most people don't have time or inclination to do an hour a day and 30 minutes is a hell of a lot better than zero. In fact, I've read that the health folks really wanted to recommend an hour and a half a day but realized they'd get laughed at so compromised on an hour.

You can work up to these times if you're really out of shape; don't overexert yourself and get sick.

As to this:

and am seeing incredible progress: down 30 pounds in 5 weeks so far

Don't get discouraged when this plateaus, and it will. 30 pounds in five weeks is not real weight loss, it's probably water loss in large part. To lose 30 pounds in five weeks of real weight would be unhealthy and practically impossible without doing some extreme things. It's essentially burning an excess of 3000 calories a day; That's like eating a 1500 calorie a day diet (which is low enough you'd be hungry most of the time) and still doing extreme amounts of exercise every single day

Not possible; so that level of weight loss won't continue and you shouldn't expect it to.
posted by Justinian at 11:22 AM on April 12, 2008

Well, it may be possible, but I wouldn't recommend it and you'd know you were doing it because you'd feel like absolute shit all the time every day.
posted by Justinian at 11:23 AM on April 12, 2008

I highly recommend this book:
Quick Fit: The Complete 15-Minute No-Sweat Workout by Richard Bradley.
It sounds crazy - just 15 minutes? That's what everybody thinks before they read the book. Yes, the time required increases for optimal fitness, but Bradley shows how the 15 minute workout can be the catalyst to a whole new you. The principle being: starting slow keeps exercise from becoming an overwhelming task and that 15 minutes has great benefits and --- you have actually started! Too many people want instant results. This program gives you instant confidence that you'll get results. Big difference.
posted by Gerard Sorme at 11:59 AM on April 12, 2008

Running is great, and quite efficient, but be careful if you are overweight as it adds extra stress to your joints and running is already hard on them.
posted by caddis at 12:53 PM on April 12, 2008

Some quick asides:

--My doctor recommends 30 minutes of cardio in my workouts (in addition to my lifts, etc.). Opinions vary, and as said above, more is better than zero.

--Boredom can be as much a challenge as actual physical fatigue. If you're on an elliptical trainer, for example, bring something to read, time it so you can watch a favorite TV show, whatever. You'll last a lot longer.

(Applying that to the bedroom is an exercise I'll leave to the reader.)

--Be sure you're getting enough sleep. Never hurts to consider, and few of us do.
posted by gimonca at 1:22 PM on April 12, 2008

It really sounds to me as if you are continuing to experience some of the breathing problems you described in your earlier question about consequences of quitting smoking.

There, you said "sometimes I can't breathe in all the way", and if that continues to be true even though you may not be feeling it as acutely, you may not have enough vital capacity for anything much more demanding than sedentary activities. Sex in the missionary position, whether you are on the top or the bottom, will compress your abdomen and reduce your ability to expand your lungs. If you are already near to using all the air you can get in with normal activity, you may just not be able to get enough air when you try to have sex. Muscle cramps are a consequence of oxygen deficit, by the way.

I think you should press your doctor for a referral to a pulmonary specialist of some kind, and insist on a battery of tests of your lung function.
posted by jamjam at 2:44 PM on April 12, 2008

push-ups
posted by extrabox at 4:32 PM on April 12, 2008

I think jamjam has made a good point.
posted by caddis at 5:49 PM on April 12, 2008