Run away son!

April 9, 2008 9:10 PM

Looking for infamous personal add.

Anyone recall a personal add placed several years ago by a VERY particular, picky, religious and possibly crazy woman? She had pages or rules and required reading for anyone interested in making contact with her and very specific rules if contact was actual made.

posted by DieHipsterDie to human relations (14 comments total)

Yeah, I remember that. No telling where on the web it has gotten to, though. It was like 15-20 rules about when a guy could and could not call on the phone, if/when they would hold hands, where they could go, etc. I think. This was a long time ago in internet time. Probably 6-8 years ago.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 9:20 PM on April 9, 2008

Mary Romantic may be what you are looking for.
posted by bunnytricks at 9:20 PM on April 9, 2008

i don't know if mary romantic is the answer he's looking for, but i think that site is damn funny. i've been reading it out loud for about 15 minutes. the lady is annoyed.
posted by negative1 at 9:35 PM on April 9, 2008

I feel crazy for sort-of-remembering this too. Definitely 5+ years ago.
posted by rokusan at 9:37 PM on April 9, 2008

It's definitely Mary Romantic.
posted by puke & cry at 9:38 PM on April 9, 2008

Site search for several other mentions of her.
posted by puke & cry at 9:45 PM on April 9, 2008

Yep, it's Mary. Thanks!!!
posted by DieHipsterDie at 9:58 PM on April 9, 2008

Wow, that's fascinating.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 9:59 PM on April 9, 2008

Wow, her voice message is pretty amazing.
posted by bonheur at 10:02 PM on April 9, 2008

"I'd love to find a man who doesn't masturbate, even when he's single, so if you don't masturbate, please know that I'd consider you a rare gem."

Wow.
posted by scody at 10:15 PM on April 9, 2008 [4 favorites]

There's something confusing-engrossing about her writing. I mean, clearly, she's bats. But within the bats, there are moments when there is a flash of a person who seems sort of ... nice and sensible. Like when she expresses her sympathy about computer problems ("I know how frustrating it can feel to deal with the computer sometimes."), or when she explains that she's sorry but she's just not interested in men who don't speak English well. Or how she doesn't want to spent a lot of time on the phone, she just wants to meet her potential mate. But then just a click away she's talking about the 14-day period she needs to review the photo, and the time frames for calling, and how to figure in the time zones, and the area codes, and the rules for a "spontaneous" chat on the phone. And the "special email" in which no dash may be deleted. And, yeah, the no-masturbation and no-sex-before-marriage and all the rest. Wow. I hope she found her partner in battiness.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:35 PM on April 9, 2008

Mary Romantic is a classic of internet kookdom. Around the same time I discovered her, I discovered this guy. It would have been absolutely GORGEOUS if Mary Romantic & Peter Pan had got together.
posted by goshling at 2:19 AM on April 10, 2008

This bit always got me:

To make it easier for you to quickly spot whether a man is able to honestly send you this whole letter as it is, I haven’t changed its format at all. I haven’t removed the dashes (–) or any words from the letter, even those in parentheses, nor have I changed or added to any of your words. I’ve just supplied a simple answer right after each of the ten dashes (–) below. I’m happy to make this step easy for you, Mary.

*shudder*
posted by WCityMike at 10:31 AM on April 10, 2008

There was more than one person in the original thread--posted by me!--who suggested that Mary might not have been so crazy.

Mary is a professional dominatrix .The required gift, willingness to travel, the preset phone dialogue, the typing of the client's particulars into a database, the hours of availability -- all standard operating procedure for the professional domina. Putting her site on aol is brilliant.
posted by mollykiely at 8:54 PM on March 2
posted by Skot at 10:42 AM on April 10, 2008