Changing my mind on a declined job offer

April 1, 2008 2:41 PM

I was offered a job four weeks ago, and declined it mostly due to overwhelming anxiety that stopped my brain from thinking logically. I think I made a mistake. What's the protocol for calling and asking if the job is still available and if they would consider me again?

Would it be best to make the inquiry by phone or email? Do I need to explain my change of mind? And would this behaviour label me as a total flake?

The job was a writing position, and really, the only explanation I would have for them is that I freaked out about the job offer -- it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, i.e. "perfect", it involved a move to a city where I don't know anyone, and I wasn't sure the job would help me get future jobs because it was a very niche writing market. Cut to today, and I feel like I've neutralized those worries, plus the cold slap of economic reality makes me realize this might have been the only job offer I'll get.

The job posting is no longer on their website.

posted by megancita to work & money (12 comments total)

A month ago? It's gone. It's all experience for next time, don't shit yourself and make an effort to think more clearly. Good luck.
posted by matteo at 2:43 PM on April 1

4 weeks is a long time in job offer land. It's definitely gone and, yes, making an inquiry now would label you as a total flake. I'd keep your eye on their website job postings if you really want to work there and bide your time.
posted by meerkatty at 2:48 PM on April 1

My partner has been through multiple job changes in the last couple of years, and has done a lot of dealing with employers and potential employers, and from this we have figured out that it never hurts to ask.

If I were you, I'd drop an e-mail and say something like, "My circumstances have changed unexpectedly, and it would now be possible for me to take the job. I wonder if you still have an opening?" Worst-case scenario? You get an e-mail back saying, "Sorry, we have filled it." Best-case scenario? It's still open. Somewhere in the middle: they hired someone but it's not going to work out, and if they need to replace that person they're glad to know you, their first choice, might still be available.

You have nothing to lose.
posted by not that girl at 2:50 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]

I actually just looked at my records, and realized I declined the job offer about 2.5 weeks ago, if that makes a difference. Time can stretch when you're unemployed :)
posted by megancita at 2:52 PM on April 1

Speaking as a former hiring manager on the tail end of my career... You should definitely CALL the person who made you the offer - DO NOT SEND EMAIL and say something like (this will probably have to be a voicemail, because chances are he/she will not answer the phone, but you never know): "hi, this is so-and-so. not sure if you remember me but you made me a job offer a month ago that I wasn't prepared to accept, and since then I've had time to think about it and really regret that decision. I don't know if the job is still available, but if it is, I would be very interested - in fact, I'd accept it on the spot if the offer is still there."
posted by thomas144 at 2:55 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Definitely call, it's definitely possible, and possibly open. I worked in HR for a few years, and we had this happen on a few occasions for a variety of reasons. It's not unusual.
posted by nevercalm at 2:58 PM on April 1

I would not say you regret the decision. And do call. And go with notthatgirl's cool-as-a-cucumber wording. It's not about regret, it's about an change of circumstances that make it now possible for you to accept, if the job is still available. They don't need to know what went on behind the scenes. (Don't lie, but if you need to pretend to yourself that it was something really legit, so you can speak with confidence, do so. Maybe the ailing aunt you were staying in HomeTown to care for suddenly recovered! Good for her, and now you can take that job after all!)
posted by salvia at 3:18 PM on April 1

call tomorrow morning at 10:15.
posted by stubby phillips at 3:44 PM on April 1

don't say anything about regret. just say your circumstances have changed and you were wondering if the job was available.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:46 PM on April 1

Yeah, don't say you freaked out or anything like that. Just that your circumstances changed, you understand the position is likely filled, but you liked them a lot and perhaps the position is still open. If not, please keep you in mind for the future.
posted by theora55 at 4:09 PM on April 1

As a hiring employer, the fact that this job would involve moving to another city makes the "circumstances changed" thing completely plausible to me, and if I got that call it would not even occur to me that you might have just flaked out.

It's entirely possible that the job listing is down because after you, their first choice candidate, declined it, they decided to retool the listing before trying again. I'd say give it a shot - what do you have to lose? Just keep calm and definitely don't get into your personal regrets about flaking.
posted by Stacey at 4:25 PM on April 1

How much of this is panic that you won't get another offer? If the job is really not what you want, then maybe you've already made the correct choice. Don't uproot you life by moving for a job you don't even want.

However, if you really do want this job - call them. That job may be filled, but there may be another one that's a good fit for you. You won't know until you ask.
posted by 26.2 at 11:10 PM on April 1