Help me sleep peacefully!
March 19, 2008 5:37 PM Subscribe
Adult night terrors. Do I need to get my head checked?
I’ve had night terrors since I was a toddler. Most of the sources I’ve found on the web say something to the effect of “they’re perfectly normal in young kids; don’t worry because they’ll outgrow them.” I’m 25 and still haven’t outgrown mine.
A typical night terror goes something like this: I “wake up” suddenly 45 minutes to 1.5 hours after going to sleep completely and utterly terrified, heart pounding, breathing hard, sometimes screaming or yelling something like “watch out.” Sometimes I throw the covers back, leap out of bed, turn the light on, or even run out of my bedroom. About half the time I have no idea what woke me up or why I feel so terrified; I can’t recall any nightmare or any tangible cause of the terror—it’s just terror for the sake of terror. The other half of the time I see a flash of a “terrifying” image just before waking up. It’s just a flash and never lasts for more than a few seconds—definitely not a nightmare. These images run the gamut from a strange person standing over my bed to a giant spider crawling across the covers toward my face. The images are typically related to nothing in my waking life, they are just things that are scary in the abstract. When I wake up, even though the rational part of my brain is screaming “this is just a night terror, it’s not real,” it takes my body a good while to catch up with my mind and calm itself down. At times I don’t even wake up entirely and almost immediately go back to sleep (often a bed-mate will even tell me I had a night terror that I have no recollection of the next day), while other times I’m fully awake and it takes 20-30 minutes to calm down and go to sleep. At the very worst, I have sat on the couch shaking with all the lights on for a good half an hour before I can fully convince myself it is safe to go back to bed. I should note that during my waking hours I’m not unusually paranoid and have no abnormal fear of creepy crawly things. I don’t typically watch scary TV or read disturbing books before bed, but if I do it doesn’t seem to affect the night terrors either way. I don’t have any major physical or emotional trauma in my past. I’m pretty emotionally stable, all in all.
The terrors come and go. I’ll go long periods, years even, without having them, and then all of a sudden I’ll have them almost every night for several months. I’ve noticed that they are more common during stressful times, but they also happen pretty frequently out of the blue. Past significant others who have observed this phenomenon have been supportive, but I still feel embarrassed to have retained this childlike mommy-I-had-a-nightmare trait well into my 20s. I’m currently single so I’m the only one this affects right now, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life disturbing my husband’s sleep with my nighttime weirdness. They aren’t a huge disturbance to my sleep; I’m usually asleep again in 10 minutes or less. And I can’t see that they have any impact on my real, waking life. It’s just (to put it mildly) annoying to wake up many nights, for no apparent reason, utterly terrified.
Could the night terrors be a sign of something else, psychological or physiological, that I need to be concerned about, or is it just an isolated, quirky thing that I’ll just have to live with? Does anyone know how psychiatrists/psychologists typically treat this kind of thing? And has anyone else, in their adult life, experienced anything like this? If so, how have you dealt with it?
I’ve had night terrors since I was a toddler. Most of the sources I’ve found on the web say something to the effect of “they’re perfectly normal in young kids; don’t worry because they’ll outgrow them.” I’m 25 and still haven’t outgrown mine.
A typical night terror goes something like this: I “wake up” suddenly 45 minutes to 1.5 hours after going to sleep completely and utterly terrified, heart pounding, breathing hard, sometimes screaming or yelling something like “watch out.” Sometimes I throw the covers back, leap out of bed, turn the light on, or even run out of my bedroom. About half the time I have no idea what woke me up or why I feel so terrified; I can’t recall any nightmare or any tangible cause of the terror—it’s just terror for the sake of terror. The other half of the time I see a flash of a “terrifying” image just before waking up. It’s just a flash and never lasts for more than a few seconds—definitely not a nightmare. These images run the gamut from a strange person standing over my bed to a giant spider crawling across the covers toward my face. The images are typically related to nothing in my waking life, they are just things that are scary in the abstract. When I wake up, even though the rational part of my brain is screaming “this is just a night terror, it’s not real,” it takes my body a good while to catch up with my mind and calm itself down. At times I don’t even wake up entirely and almost immediately go back to sleep (often a bed-mate will even tell me I had a night terror that I have no recollection of the next day), while other times I’m fully awake and it takes 20-30 minutes to calm down and go to sleep. At the very worst, I have sat on the couch shaking with all the lights on for a good half an hour before I can fully convince myself it is safe to go back to bed. I should note that during my waking hours I’m not unusually paranoid and have no abnormal fear of creepy crawly things. I don’t typically watch scary TV or read disturbing books before bed, but if I do it doesn’t seem to affect the night terrors either way. I don’t have any major physical or emotional trauma in my past. I’m pretty emotionally stable, all in all.
The terrors come and go. I’ll go long periods, years even, without having them, and then all of a sudden I’ll have them almost every night for several months. I’ve noticed that they are more common during stressful times, but they also happen pretty frequently out of the blue. Past significant others who have observed this phenomenon have been supportive, but I still feel embarrassed to have retained this childlike mommy-I-had-a-nightmare trait well into my 20s. I’m currently single so I’m the only one this affects right now, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life disturbing my husband’s sleep with my nighttime weirdness. They aren’t a huge disturbance to my sleep; I’m usually asleep again in 10 minutes or less. And I can’t see that they have any impact on my real, waking life. It’s just (to put it mildly) annoying to wake up many nights, for no apparent reason, utterly terrified.
Could the night terrors be a sign of something else, psychological or physiological, that I need to be concerned about, or is it just an isolated, quirky thing that I’ll just have to live with? Does anyone know how psychiatrists/psychologists typically treat this kind of thing? And has anyone else, in their adult life, experienced anything like this? If so, how have you dealt with it?
My sister and my mother have a similar response if they drink caffeine, occasionally if I overdo it with the coffee early int he day I react in the same way sleeping that night. I'd second going to the doctor to get checked out just as a general advice.
posted by iamabot at 5:48 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by iamabot at 5:48 PM on March 19, 2008
Do a search for "sleep paralysis", it seems to be the adult verions of night terrors.
posted by fshgrl at 6:01 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by fshgrl at 6:01 PM on March 19, 2008
I'm a male, 34. A lot of what you describe sounds familiar, except that I don't recall suffering from night terrors as a child -- aside from a few sleepwalking episodes as a kid, I'd say my first terror happened when I was in my 20s. I don't remember anything like that during my teens, which was a particularly tense part of my life.
The last time I saw my GP, I talked to him about this and while he mentioned the possibility of a sleep study, he didn't seem to feel it was actually a necessary step. So I haven't explored diagnosis beyond that conversation -- let alone treatment.
posted by jepler at 6:09 PM on March 19, 2008
The last time I saw my GP, I talked to him about this and while he mentioned the possibility of a sleep study, he didn't seem to feel it was actually a necessary step. So I haven't explored diagnosis beyond that conversation -- let alone treatment.
posted by jepler at 6:09 PM on March 19, 2008
FWIW, I've suffered from both night terrors and sleep paralysis, and they are completely different experiences. Night terrors = nightmare (for me) + screaming + thrashing; sleep paralysis = hallucinating + inability to move.
I risk being deleted or flagged, but I don't have an answer. My night terrors have always been inextricably tied to having a bad fever, and I haven't had a fever in probably a decade so I don't even know if I'd still get them. The frequency of yours is amazing; I'd definitely recommend spending some nights in a sleep lab.
posted by iguanapolitico at 6:10 PM on March 19, 2008
I risk being deleted or flagged, but I don't have an answer. My night terrors have always been inextricably tied to having a bad fever, and I haven't had a fever in probably a decade so I don't even know if I'd still get them. The frequency of yours is amazing; I'd definitely recommend spending some nights in a sleep lab.
posted by iguanapolitico at 6:10 PM on March 19, 2008
Do you get Any anxiety attacks during your waking hours.
I have very realistic dreams that at times are nightmarish... and anxiety 'issues' that manifest themselves not as nervousness at all, 'no, I'm not nervous or anxious' during waking hours, yet.... that's what the bottom line is.
When I wake up from one of these dreams, I have a camomille tea, sit back and ask myself, what is this dream telling me...even though I understand it is made up of a subconscious conflagration of daytime or past events melded into one 'story' or bad dream, which wakes me up [thanks a lot]. I do find them interesting, in any case.
So check that out with a specialist. Your GP can refer you to one, hopefully.
posted by alicesshoe at 6:18 PM on March 19, 2008
I have very realistic dreams that at times are nightmarish... and anxiety 'issues' that manifest themselves not as nervousness at all, 'no, I'm not nervous or anxious' during waking hours, yet.... that's what the bottom line is.
When I wake up from one of these dreams, I have a camomille tea, sit back and ask myself, what is this dream telling me...even though I understand it is made up of a subconscious conflagration of daytime or past events melded into one 'story' or bad dream, which wakes me up [thanks a lot]. I do find them interesting, in any case.
So check that out with a specialist. Your GP can refer you to one, hopefully.
posted by alicesshoe at 6:18 PM on March 19, 2008
I'm over 30, and still have night terrors, occasional sleep walking, and entire conversations with my husband where I am completely asleep. One theory that my docs have had is a pain issue -that I have muscle spasms and back pain that my body doesn't recognise too much while awake, but my mind picks up on while asleep. For what it's worth, I do get backpain during the day often, as well.
One thing that helps is changing where I sleep. If I keep getting night terrors in bed, I go try to sleep on the couch, etc. I've also noticed that having a glass of wine or something helps as well.
posted by kellyblah at 6:23 PM on March 19, 2008
One thing that helps is changing where I sleep. If I keep getting night terrors in bed, I go try to sleep on the couch, etc. I've also noticed that having a glass of wine or something helps as well.
posted by kellyblah at 6:23 PM on March 19, 2008
I get them. I'm in my late twenties and, like you, mentally fine otherwise. I don't get them quite as often as you, but they're just as terrifying as you describe. As I've gotten older, two factors have made them a little easier to bear. First, while they're always a surprise, I'm much better at predicting them. For me, sleeping in an unfamiliar place (e.g. at a different house, camping, etc.) is probably the biggest trigger. It looks like you've started identifying similar cases; if my experience is an indication, you'll probably get better at this. Second, now that I'm so familiar with them, I can realize that I'm under the influence of a night terror much sooner into the episode. It's kind of like the night terror version of lucid dreaming. When I do this I've found that I can snap out of it more quickly.
Aside from the terror itself, you've hit on what I consider the most aggravating feature of these pesky episodes: the inability to express to other people what the experience is like. Calling them "nightmares" doesn't remotely do them justice. The closest I've come is Kant's description of the dynamical sublime. Wikipedia calls it "the sense of annihilation of the sensible self as the imagination tries to comprehend a vast might."
posted by Phatty Lumpkin at 6:27 PM on March 19, 2008
Aside from the terror itself, you've hit on what I consider the most aggravating feature of these pesky episodes: the inability to express to other people what the experience is like. Calling them "nightmares" doesn't remotely do them justice. The closest I've come is Kant's description of the dynamical sublime. Wikipedia calls it "the sense of annihilation of the sensible self as the imagination tries to comprehend a vast might."
posted by Phatty Lumpkin at 6:27 PM on March 19, 2008
I suffer from sleep paralysis, occasionally combined with vivid hallucinations (no spiders, but have had the strange figure leaning over me, and sometimes the waking up screaming). I was told years ago that sleeping on your back helped to trigger them. Ever since then I've been a stomach sleeper and it has seemed to help quite a bit. And, though I've never thought they were related until now (thanks iamabot), I gave up coffee about six months ago and have not had one in that time. But, definately try sleeping on your stomach, that cut them down quite a bit for me.
posted by melgy at 6:31 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by melgy at 6:31 PM on March 19, 2008
Lots of people get them well into middle age and perhaps beyond. I had them into my 20s and my sister still has them and she's into her 50s now. You might want to overnight in a sleep lab to see if there's any proximal physical cause (eg apnea) but beyond the disturbing nature of the terrors themselves I don't think there's anything to worry about.
posted by unSane at 6:38 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by unSane at 6:38 PM on March 19, 2008
my bf gets those. he also dreams very vividly, and always has. he's a sensitive guy, and prone to melancholy and (although he wouldn't admit it) anxiety. and he snores like there's a complete logging operation going on in his nose. i'm sure it's all connected. he seems able to shrug them off, but if they're impacting your life, by all means go to a sleep specialist. a sleep study may help, too. good luck.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:41 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:41 PM on March 19, 2008
If you have had them since childhood, it is unlikely to be associated with any psychological problem (unless you were abused or traumatized in infancy-- but this would usually be associated with more than just night terrors). Some people with PTSD have them in conjunction with that-- but these tend to be associated with the flashbacks and other memories of the traumatic event(s).
In your case, it sounds like it's a quirk of your physiology and a sleep study might help to find appropriate treatment if you decide you need it.
posted by Maias at 6:53 PM on March 19, 2008
IA(obviously)NAD, but I'm just curious whether you were adopted. The reason for this is that I have been doing a lot of reading lately about international adoption, and night terrors seem to be amazingly common in the children, and apparently last quite a long time.
posted by Enroute at 7:58 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by Enroute at 7:58 PM on March 19, 2008
I had night terrors as a child and still do as an adult. I notice that I have them when I am under a lot of stress. I'm the kind of person that never feels like I'm stressed out. I just have a hard time sleeping and then I'll have night terrors when I do sleep when I'm under a lot of pressure. I also have sleep paralysis. The night terrors and sleep paralysis have always been independent of each other with me. I also do not snore or have any other sleep disorders.
I haven't really found out a way to deal with the night terrors. I have screamed so loud that I made the neighbors dogs bark. I know when I stay in a hotel I always kind of worry about having a night terror. Luckily I have very few night terrors now. I'm like you (OP) in that I can have them frequently, then go years without having one. I just try to recognize when I am under stress and try to do whatever I can to deal with the stress so that it doesn't manifest itself in the middle of the night with me screaming like a crazy person. I have a husband and a daughter and yeah it can make things difficult for them. I have almost given them heart attacks a few times when they wake up to me screaming bloody murder.
I have mentioned it to doctors over the years and they all seemed to blow it off as "just one of those things" and it not being anything to worry about. I've never had any doctor offer a suggestion of treatment. Since it's not something that happens all the time, I personally would not be willing to take medication if that were an option. But that's just me.
posted by GlowWyrm at 8:11 PM on March 19, 2008
I haven't really found out a way to deal with the night terrors. I have screamed so loud that I made the neighbors dogs bark. I know when I stay in a hotel I always kind of worry about having a night terror. Luckily I have very few night terrors now. I'm like you (OP) in that I can have them frequently, then go years without having one. I just try to recognize when I am under stress and try to do whatever I can to deal with the stress so that it doesn't manifest itself in the middle of the night with me screaming like a crazy person. I have a husband and a daughter and yeah it can make things difficult for them. I have almost given them heart attacks a few times when they wake up to me screaming bloody murder.
I have mentioned it to doctors over the years and they all seemed to blow it off as "just one of those things" and it not being anything to worry about. I've never had any doctor offer a suggestion of treatment. Since it's not something that happens all the time, I personally would not be willing to take medication if that were an option. But that's just me.
posted by GlowWyrm at 8:11 PM on March 19, 2008
@enroute
I know your question was to the OP but I was not adopted. I'm an only child and as far as I know, no one in my extended family has them.
posted by GlowWyrm at 8:13 PM on March 19, 2008
I know your question was to the OP but I was not adopted. I'm an only child and as far as I know, no one in my extended family has them.
posted by GlowWyrm at 8:13 PM on March 19, 2008
I'd give it a lot of thought before talking to someone who can diagnose you with something. A mental health indication (accurate or not) in your medical records can potentially come back to bite you in the ass in a lot of ways. That being said, i would never discourage someone from seeking professional help if they thought it was warranted.
posted by doppleradar at 8:35 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by doppleradar at 8:35 PM on March 19, 2008
I've gone as far as to hang drapes over the floor to ceiling mirrors on the wall opposite my bed, which has made the quality of my sleep much better with far fewer disruptions. I've never been one to really "believe" in things like feng shui but looking at mirrors seemed to freak the shit out of me for some reason.
posted by jeffmik at 9:57 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by jeffmik at 9:57 PM on March 19, 2008
Here's my theory about night terrors and sleep paralysis.
First you have to understand what dreams are used for - and understand this is all speculation on my part. Dreams, evolutionary speaking are the virtual hollow deck of primitive man. Dreams allowed man to try out situations that could threaten his survival. So primitive man needed to learn how to survive in threatening situations. He practicing his dreams so that he was more prepared to meet that challenge in his real life.
There are plenty of studies that recommend if you have something challenging that you have to do - be it sports or academic or social task - that you practicing your mind first. And this is all dreams really are, a place to practive life. So how many threatening challenges does the average person have in this modern world on a day-to-day basis? You could say driving or cooking but we handle those things so often that any subconscious desire to meet those challenges has already probably worked itself out. And this leads me to our entertainment -- now hear me I'm not saying that any violent entertainment is bad or destructive -- but what it does do is bring threatening situations to our mind and when our mind is engaged in watching TV or movies or reading a books -- it engages our mind in a lifelike manner. And we shutdown the part of our brain that tells us that this story is not a reality.
So when in dreams - when we have bad ones, our mind is engaged in this multitude of options - trying to figure out how to get through the situations that have been imagined in your mind by the writers of the TV or books and movies. The dreams are trying out all the situations that could possibly find itself in. So hence nightmares and sleep paralysis/night terrors.
So here is my solution: as you are falling asleep think about the day ahead tomorrow. Think about the most difficult parts of your day that you're going to face. Two or three hard parts of your day should be fine and what this will do hopefully is set your mind working to fix those potential "survival" threatening situations. (If this is anxiety inducing, don't do this as you are laying down, do this about an hour before you go to bed and after you have stopped watching TV.)
Now before you write me off as a kook. Here are the relevant articles that will help you see what I'm trying to get across.
Radio Lab - Sleep
TV and Mind
Problem solving during sleep
posted by bigmusic at 10:28 PM on March 19, 2008
First you have to understand what dreams are used for - and understand this is all speculation on my part. Dreams, evolutionary speaking are the virtual hollow deck of primitive man. Dreams allowed man to try out situations that could threaten his survival. So primitive man needed to learn how to survive in threatening situations. He practicing his dreams so that he was more prepared to meet that challenge in his real life.
There are plenty of studies that recommend if you have something challenging that you have to do - be it sports or academic or social task - that you practicing your mind first. And this is all dreams really are, a place to practive life. So how many threatening challenges does the average person have in this modern world on a day-to-day basis? You could say driving or cooking but we handle those things so often that any subconscious desire to meet those challenges has already probably worked itself out. And this leads me to our entertainment -- now hear me I'm not saying that any violent entertainment is bad or destructive -- but what it does do is bring threatening situations to our mind and when our mind is engaged in watching TV or movies or reading a books -- it engages our mind in a lifelike manner. And we shutdown the part of our brain that tells us that this story is not a reality.
So when in dreams - when we have bad ones, our mind is engaged in this multitude of options - trying to figure out how to get through the situations that have been imagined in your mind by the writers of the TV or books and movies. The dreams are trying out all the situations that could possibly find itself in. So hence nightmares and sleep paralysis/night terrors.
So here is my solution: as you are falling asleep think about the day ahead tomorrow. Think about the most difficult parts of your day that you're going to face. Two or three hard parts of your day should be fine and what this will do hopefully is set your mind working to fix those potential "survival" threatening situations. (If this is anxiety inducing, don't do this as you are laying down, do this about an hour before you go to bed and after you have stopped watching TV.)
Now before you write me off as a kook. Here are the relevant articles that will help you see what I'm trying to get across.
Radio Lab - Sleep
TV and Mind
Problem solving during sleep
posted by bigmusic at 10:28 PM on March 19, 2008
I've had night terrors and sleep paralysis off and on for most of my adult life. I only get them during the periods in my life where I have someone sleeping in the bed with me on a regular basis. I'm an extremely light sleeper and having someone in my bed adds more stress to the already stressful situation of having problems falling and staying asleep. In the past, my GP prescribed me Klonopin which helped a lot.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:08 PM on March 19, 2008
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:08 PM on March 19, 2008
I have really, really bad nightmares. (Possibly, technically not terrors, though.) They're really bad. And sometimes I yell and sometimes I don't.
I have little advice, other than that my nightmares are much, much worse and more frequent when I'm hot. I prefer to sleep with a doona/quilt in all sorts of weather, I like the comfort of the weight. But I have to be careful that I don't over heat. It's better for me to be a bit cold, because the nightmares just aren't worth it.
(I'm quite mad and had a vile childhood but am ridiculously happy/content now.... if you're interested in the history of my anecdotes. )
So, that could, perhaps, maybe, possibly be something to consider in your cornucopia of suggestions. Best of luck, possum. Nightmares/terrors are, um, er.... nightmarish!
posted by taff at 1:17 AM on March 20, 2008
I have little advice, other than that my nightmares are much, much worse and more frequent when I'm hot. I prefer to sleep with a doona/quilt in all sorts of weather, I like the comfort of the weight. But I have to be careful that I don't over heat. It's better for me to be a bit cold, because the nightmares just aren't worth it.
(I'm quite mad and had a vile childhood but am ridiculously happy/content now.... if you're interested in the history of my anecdotes. )
So, that could, perhaps, maybe, possibly be something to consider in your cornucopia of suggestions. Best of luck, possum. Nightmares/terrors are, um, er.... nightmarish!
posted by taff at 1:17 AM on March 20, 2008
I used to get these nightly in my early/mid twenties but much less so nowadays in my late 30's. They tend to turn up when I have apnoea episodes and I've always thought that they were my brain shocking itself to wake itself up so I'd breathe again so seconding or thirding the advice to go to the docs and get checked out for other sleep disorders.
posted by merocet at 8:16 AM on March 20, 2008
posted by merocet at 8:16 AM on March 20, 2008
I read an article recently (don't have link, sorry, but I think it was posted here?) about how nightmares are your brain's way of training you to deal with stressful/scary situations. You get to "practice" bad scenarios over and over so that you have "experience" in those sorts of situations and are more likely to do the right thing if you ever encounter them in real life.
I have nightmares almost every night, and they used to make me quite miserable, but reading this explanation made me feel a lot better about them. Now when my dreams frighten me awake I think, "Ah, running me through the survival drills again, brain? Thanks for the extra training, I'm going to try to go back to sleep now." This new attitude has pretty much eliminated all the stress and resentment I used to feel over my bad dreams.
posted by Jacqueline at 12:25 PM on March 20, 2008
I have nightmares almost every night, and they used to make me quite miserable, but reading this explanation made me feel a lot better about them. Now when my dreams frighten me awake I think, "Ah, running me through the survival drills again, brain? Thanks for the extra training, I'm going to try to go back to sleep now." This new attitude has pretty much eliminated all the stress and resentment I used to feel over my bad dreams.
posted by Jacqueline at 12:25 PM on March 20, 2008
I've tended to have a lot of nightmares myself since I was a kid. Two things I've discovered as an adult that give me awful night terrors are hypoglycemia while I'm sleeping and the drug Cymbalta. Cymbalta gave me recurring night terrors every night for over a year. It took me a while to figure out that that was the problem, but after stopping the medication, the terrors ceased immediately.
posted by kclassic at 3:35 PM on March 20, 2008
posted by kclassic at 3:35 PM on March 20, 2008
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posted by Lyn Never at 5:45 PM on March 19, 2008