Bad Kitty

March 15, 2008 10:17 AM

Terrible cat behavior...My cat is two years old and doesn't seem to be growing out of his bad behavior. Is there any hope he'll get better or should I find him a new home?

I have a two year old cat that I got at three months from the Humane Society. He has always been a handful, and I hoped he would grow out of it, but he just turned two and his bad behavior shown no signs of abating.

He has always made a lot of noise. When I get home from work, he'll walk around crying for up to an hour. Lately, he's started waking me up at four to six am, either by sitting on the bedside table crying, or by running back and forth across the pillows. If I lock him out of the bedroom, he just cries continuously for hours.

If my boyfriend or I are trying to study at the kitchen table, he'll jump up incessantly and try to lay down on the book or the keyboard. I have to lock him in the bedroom eventually, which has led to him tearing up the carpet at the doorway. (Goodbye rental deposit). He also cries loudly and continuously when locked in the bedroom.

He loves to chew up paper stacks of bills sitting on the table, and always knocks them over and makes a mess. The other morning, during one of his early morning wakeup sessions, he deliberately knocked a lamp off the table, then wanted to play in the broken lightbulb bits.

He jumps up on the counters, the table, the dresser where I have nice things stored to keep them away from him. No matter how many times I tell him no and put him on the ground, he still jumps up.

He claws anything and everything, including doing a number on the couch, the aforementioned bedroom carpet, and sometimes my legs if I walk by at the wrong time.

I work full time, so I'm gone from 7am to 6pm every day. One of my theories is that he just gets bored and lonely, and then acts up when I get home. I'm wondering if he would do better with someone who had more time for him, like a nice retired grandma or something. Getting another cat for him to play with isn't an option right now.

I've looked through the other bad cat threads, and one thing I'm going to try is getting a string on a stick type-toy to try and tire him out in the evenings. But his bad behavior is affecting my life to a really negative extent, and I don't have high hopes that it will get better. Are there any suggestions for getting him to calm down, or does it sound like he needs a new home where someone's home all day?

posted by twiggy32 to pets & animals (29 comments total)

He needs a housemate. You need to get him a friend. Preferably a female. Then you need to check the food you're feeding him. Sounds like he's getting too many carbs in kibble. You want to get him on a raw diet slowly transitioning him with some high quality canned food mixed in with the raw. Brushing him. Yes. Brushing - will untangle some of his nerves because he sounds like he's all wound up with either early trauma or some other kind of knot inside. Rescue Remedy - a few drops in his water will take the edge off his misery. Keeping a radio softly playing while you're at work He's dealing with his lot in the best way he knows. Now you need to step up to the plate and start making the changes that will make his and your lives the absolutely best they can be. And no. You don't want to find him another home. This is definitely one of those times when life gives you a task to do and there is a little soul that really needs you to give it all you've got. Good luck and many good wishes.
posted by watercarrier at 10:23 AM on March 15

Sounds to me like he needs two things: another cat to play with, and some active discouragement from his ill manners (spritzer bottle, shaker noise, double-sided tape... search past threads and you'll find many suggestions). As for the morning crying, that's just part of having a cat, though you can probably minimize it by getting a wet food dispenser on a timer.
posted by Scram at 10:24 AM on March 15

Second cat.
No joke.
posted by Lord_Pall at 10:24 AM on March 15

I had a cat just like this that my roommate had left behind, and I gave him to a young family on a farm, with another cat and a baby to play with. He's still sometimes a little terror, so I hear, but he's much happier now.
posted by sweetkid at 10:26 AM on March 15

He's bored out of his skull. He needs another cat to hang out with (preferably a bigger, meaner cat who'll instill some manners in him, IMO).
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:29 AM on March 15

My boyfriend and I have a cat that exhibits all of the behaviors you describe (and more - he's extremely bitey as well). He's been like this since he was a kitten, and now that he's nine we've long since given up hope that he'll grow out of it.

That said, when he's being destructive what he's usually looking for is attention. During the early morning temper tantrums, the only effective thing I've found is to actually just get up and play with him for ten or fifteen minutes and then go back to bed, or else grab him and pull him into bed where he'll fall asleep while I pet him.

When he's bad at other times, we just play with him until he flops over panting, at which point he curls up happily and goes to sleep. The feather-on-a-string toys are his favorite, but he's also surprisingly interested in fetching superballs or balls of crumpled paper that we throw down our hallway.

Spritzing him with a water bottle helps keep him from scratching or knocking things over, too. At this point we don't even need to spray him anymore, just the sound of us shaking the water bottle will cause him to abort whatever he was about to do. Of course, we've also learned that anything that cannot be knocked over just has to live on a shelf that he can't reach.

I would think carefully about all your options before resorting to giving up the cat. Adult cats who no longer have their kitten cuteness going for them have a very hard time getting adopted, particularly cats with any behavior problems. So you might be dooming him to life in a shelter cage. And having someone at home all the time doesn't help as much as you might think - my boyfriend works from home so one of us is pretty much always around, and it has not helped the cat's behavior in any perceptible way. We've just learned to live with him as he is.
posted by emmastory at 10:34 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Yep, get another cat. I have a seven year old cat and a two year old. I lived with this kind of behavior for five years before I figured out that he was bored and lonely. The additional cat made a lot of difference.

Just saw that you can't get another cat. In that case, give him to someone who can properly care for him. Sorry, you're gone too much, and you're too intolerant. At the very least, make it a point to play with him for awhile (at least a half hour) every day. Use a laser pointer and wear him out. Then let him sleep on your lap.
posted by desjardins at 10:36 AM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Here are some experiences in introducing a second cat
posted by watercarrier at 10:38 AM on March 15

I have 4 cats, 3 of them are rescues. I have had others, including the most ill-behaved cat for 100 miles. No joke, the vet said so ;) Rescue kitties come with a little baggage. Please please please hang on with kitty, do not rehouse. They need extra care and love. If you get to that point, contact the rescue. Do not attempt to rehouse yourself.

I nth a mate. Kitty is displaying all the behaviors of being bored, needy, wanting your time and energy and needing love. A playmate will ease this. I think of cats like shoes-- they come in pairs. We think of housecats as being so solitary, but in truth they aren't so much. They need companionship.

The walking across the books thing is prototypical cat behavior. He is asking you for attention and affection. Locking him in the room is the exact thing you should not be doing. Try getting him onto your lap for pets and sleeps while you are studying. Get some good quality treats to help this transition.

Exercise! He needs to burn off some energy-- a cat dancer, string (supervised, please) or some pin pong balls. Play with him, I mean really play. Get on the floor, snuggle, tussle (watch and teach for the nails and bites) be momma cat. He wants attention and time.

Yowling-- I have a yowler. He gets upset when Mr. Oflinkey leaves. I yowl back. He seems to take this to mean it is all ok. Try it, but as Scram says, this is part of having a cat.

I await the arrival of the all-knowledgeable biscotti.
posted by oflinkey at 10:39 AM on March 15

You've said a lot about what a bad kitty you have and what you do to punish him but you don't at any point mention paying any attention to him or playing with him. You say he scratches up the carpet and breaks things to play with but you don't mention him having a scratching post or any toys to play with while he's alone all day long. You say he cries for up to an hour when you get home, are you ignoring him all this time?
posted by missmagenta at 11:26 AM on March 15 [2 favorites]

Yeah, what you call "terrible cat behavior" I call "being a cat". Seriously, nothing you list with the possible exception of breaking a lamp (assuming he did it on purpose) is something I'd consider bad behavior.

I suggest giving him to someone who actually, you know, likes cats and wants a cat. You seem to want a silent immobile piece of warm and furry art rather than a cat. Not fair to you or, more importantly, to the cat who is probably very unhappy.
posted by Justinian at 11:28 AM on March 15 [3 favorites]

Isn't there a rule list for How to Care for Your Cat - simple to read and easy enough to follow? I mean for heaven's sake, electronic devices come with instruction manuals, the least we can do for people who don't know how is compile a list unless there is one somewhere, maybe someone can post it.
posted by watercarrier at 11:37 AM on March 15

Our cat exhibited a lot of these behaviours, although they didn't bother us as much. (and we have no carpet). We got a second cat when our friends' family couldn't keep her (kid developed allergies) and he has stopped all of these. He just cuddles with us now.

(Granted we're still in the adaptation stage, and they fight somewhat, but it seems that its an adjustment period and they both are doing well.)

Short term solutions: scratching post (maybe a tall one to climb), crumpled up paper to play with, feed higher quality food in smaller doses (Canine Indoor 27 is what we use, and it is excellent).

By the way, transition from 1 cats to 2 in terms of feeding and cleaning was seamless and painless. Their personal adjustment is almost entirely independent of us.
posted by olya at 11:38 AM on March 15

My cat can be like that when he's not been out of the house for a while.
posted by jouke at 1:04 PM on March 15

Watercarrier gave you really wise advice, and eloquently put. If you do every single thing they said, I will be amazed if the situation doesn't drastically improve.
posted by Enroute at 1:04 PM on March 15

Also, you need to play with that cat. If that seems boring to you (I've had cats that just weren't that into playing), then try training it. Yes, cats can easily be trained to do all kinds of things, and any kind of animal training is a blast. Clicker training in particular is way fun. Mental work is a great way to tire out a rambunctious pet.
posted by Enroute at 1:11 PM on March 15

It's only been three months. That's not a long time.

Your cat isn't being bad, it's being a cat.

I've looked through the other bad cat threads, and one thing I'm going to try is getting a string on a stick type-toy to try and tire him out in the evenings. But his bad behavior is affecting my life to a really negative extent, and I don't have high hopes that it will get better. Are there any suggestions for getting him to calm down, or does it sound like he needs a new home where someone's home all day?

Cats, even cats without cat-playmates, don't need someone to be home all day -- they can entertain themselves (and sleep) for hours without being destructive, as long as they're generally happy. However, you seem to regard any interaction with your cat as a chore. This may not be the right pet for you. What on earth were you expecting?
posted by desuetude at 1:53 PM on March 15

My cat does this if I'm not playing with her enough. She has a high energy level for a cat, but any cat will react badly to being alone and bored. Cats just vary in their tolerance level for it and their reactions. 11+ hours a day alone and bored, such as you've described, would be beyond the limit of most cats. If not every cat. I'm amazed that you have a cat and not cat-fishing toys. If your cat is entirely indoors, and is alone much of the day, interactive playtime is as essential as the appropriate amount of kibble and clean water. With no playmate, no outside, and nothing happening, you are the only source of activity this cat has in its life. If you aren't providing social contact and something fun, the cat will do things to entertain himself and signal to you how bored and lonely he is.

Since you have a problem (acting out for attention) and a solution (more attention), the key to moving forward is to not create a feedback loop. Don't play with the cat the moment you get home if the cat starts begging for attention then. When I'm not home enough and she's starting to act out, I wait until she's stopped meowing and has calmed down before I play with her. I talk to her and feed her and pet her while she's eating or just rubbing on me but ignore her during the yowling. Once she's calmed down, I get out the fishing toy.
posted by Tehanu at 3:06 PM on March 15

I'm going to have to echo a number of other people here, your cat sounds like a normal cat who is bored. Knocking things off dressers, tearing up paper, lying down on books and keyboards just as you're using them....these are very typical cat behaviors for cats who want some attention or something fun to do. Yowling and crying outside your door and walking across the pillows is also something that seems normal for a cat that wants attention. It sounds like this cat might have liked the great outdoors in another life. Another cat would really help (or a small dog to torture) but I understand you can't get one right now.

Lots of toys, scratch post, catnip, seriously, he needs a kitty adventure park because I get the feeling you don't feel like playing with him when you've worked all day and he's got nothing else going on right now. Being cute and lying around purring won't get him what he wants: attention and fun. Some personalities just aren't made like that. He needs something more interesting than you in his life, or you need to become more comfortable with being so interesting and scratchable.

I mean, at least he's not attacking you in the middle of the night, teeth, claws and all, just for being a delicious-looking lump under the blanket. At least he doesn't give you a helpful smack when your parents yell at you. At least he doesn't make that "I'm gonna cut you" deep groan when you rub with affection...Sorry, working out my own childhood cat issues.
posted by Danila at 3:08 PM on March 15 [1 favorite]

Your cat is an animal with a walnut-sized brain. He doesn't know your things are nice. He doesn't understand that you have to work in the morning and waking you up at 4am is inconvenient. He doesn't get that you need to study. Cats probably wouldn't care much if they could understand. People put up with these things because they love their cat so much that it's rewarding to have the cat around despite all the hassle.

If you do choose to keep him:

You have a lot of problems with him clawing things. Get him a clawing station, if your apartment is big, get him a few. This usually helps. Other options include softpaws and declawing. I have to say, the people I know who have cats in their homes that have their claws take the attitude that the most important thing they have in their house is their cat, so they don't mind if the cat breaks / destroys something. Yes, their furniture is shredded. They love their cat so much they don't care.

Museum putty may help in keeping him from knocking over things.

Honestly, from what you're describing, kitty's not likely to grow out of this. And if getting another cat isn't an option (and I can't vouch for how well that might work), he really might be better off elsewhere. There's nothing you're describing that's out of the norm for a cat. My cat's 10, we lavish attention on him and love him dearly, and he still does everything you describe from time to time. He deliberately breaks things now and then at 3am to get our attention. He lays on our books if we're trying to read. He cries loudly until we stop what we're doing and give him attention. He won't stand to be locked away from us. I still love him to peices.

Your cat's behavior is not likely to improve, and I don't think it would improve much if you were home all day... This is just normal behavior for a cat. It really kind of sounds like a cat may not be a good fit for you.
posted by FortyT-wo at 3:12 PM on March 15

Also: if you can't or won't give him enough attention, do find him another home. My cat has cleverly secreted herself between me and the laptop to bring you this addendum. I have to go now.
posted by Tehanu at 3:17 PM on March 15

Just one thing to add: our cat didn't stop waking us up at increasingly earlier times in the morning until we got her an electronic feeder (she's very food-motivated -- not all cats are like this). Now she waits in front of the feeder, which dispenses her breakfast every day at 7 a.m., rather than bothering us, knocking things over, etc.
posted by mingshan at 5:12 PM on March 15 [1 favorite]

I would just like to chime in as a voice of dissent and say not all cats are early-rising, nice-thing-destroying, yowly terrors. I've had more than a baker's dozen of cats in and out of my life, and only a few of them have exhibited those tendencies, and only occasionally. Most of my cats have been the mellow, sweetheart, purr-and-curl-up-and-sleep kind. I don't think it was outrageous for you to expect a cat that was a little less like a toy poodle!

I do think your absence has a lot to do with his current excitable state, and that might indeed lessen as he gets older and more used to his situation. Finding a more active home for him (and after that, looking for a mellower cat for yourself) is a somewhat bittersweet solution, but one that could be effective. Do you have a vet you trust? If not, I definitely recommend finding one (good vets are easier to locate than good people doctors) and running your questions by him or her. He might even know of a young family just looking for an active cat. Best of luck to you and your little guy!
posted by tyrantkitty at 5:23 PM on March 15

"He loves to chew up paper stacks of bills sitting on the table"

In your entire post, that's the only factor I could find which distinguishes him from every other cat I've ever had.
posted by wayward vagabond at 5:41 PM on March 15

Agreeing with the general opinion that your cat is bored. If you play with him until he gets exhausted, he won't be so bored, and he'll also be exhausted. Provide "acceptable" activities for him: Let him chase a flashlight spot. Dangle feather toys from all your doorknobs. Invest in a "cat tree" that's okay to climb on. If you catch him doing something unacceptable, guide him towards something you like better.

As far as jumping on counters: your cat has probably learned that jumping up gets him either (a) something spiffy from the counter, or (b) picked up temporarily by you. If he enjoys these things, he will continue to jump up on the counters. My wife has told her animal behavior clients to use these sorts of tricks with noisemakers and odd surfaces to make counters less enticing, without requiring constant vigilance.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 11:21 PM on March 15

If you absolutely must shut him in a room away from you, you can prevent him scratching the doorway carpet by sliding a section of newspaper half under the door.

But don't shut him in a room away from you unless you're moving furniture or juggling flaming torches or something.
posted by Sallyfur at 11:28 PM on March 15

Yeah, bored kitty. My cat does this unless you play with him. The reason he is up at 4am is that while you are at work he is sleeping all day, storing up energy. Try to regulate his schedule with playtime. I try to play with my cat for 30 minutes or so before I go to bed and for 30 minutes or so when I WANT (ie, my ideal time) to wake up in the morning. Doing this gives the cat a routine. If you get your cat going about the same time each morning then they begin to make an excellent alarm clock! Mine scratches horrible sounding metal closet doors and looks at me to see if I react. If I do, its all over....With such long hours you may consider another cat, then they can team up on the bigger objects that are tough for one cat to knock over :P
posted by occidental at 8:32 PM on March 16

It sounds like he needs more toys, scratching posts, and cat furniture. From your description, all he has is human stuff to play with, so of course he's playing with that.

Nthing getting a second cat. They really do keep each other busy.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:44 AM on March 17

Straight Simple Answer: You got the wrong cat.

Explanation: Cats have a variety of temperaments. Some are highly social and active. This sounds like your case. You've taken a highly social, active cat, and locked him in solitary confinement for half his life. You have, unwittingly, been torturing the poor fellow.

Solution for the cat: The cat needs a new home. Other cats to play with. Attention. A farm. Etc.

Solution for you: Any kind of pet is a responsibility. If you still want to have a cat, specifically look for the following low-maintenance characteristics:

(1) older, less active cat
(2) doesn't like other cats
(3) doesn't need much attention

A well-run shelter will know what you're looking for.
posted by coffeefilter at 11:59 AM on March 19