Should I give my co-advisor the boot? Question about dealing with a difficult advisor for my grad program...a nice, long read awaits you...
I am in a graduate program and I have two advisors, one in my department (I will call him NP) who is very easy to get along with, and one in the professional school I wish to get into after my master's (I will call him R).
I am doing a multidisciplinary grad program, one that will look really good on my application to the professional program that I want to eventually be in. NP thought that having an advisor in that department would be helpful, so I asked R to co-advise. R is basically an ok guy...nice, listens when you have problems, and I think he tries to be helpful, but...
R is an incredibly difficult person to work with. I like to think that it is a combination of cultural backgrounds and Napoleon complex. He is coming up for tenure in about a year. He has screaming fights with his department head, and is extremely confrontational with other members of his department. I am getting tired of it, but NP is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. So far:
1) When I asked him what tests he would like me to run on the blood samples collected, instead of 'advising' me, he told me to ask a friend of his. I found this odd. I asked the friend, who gave me limited info that was not helpful. So...
2) I am taking a class in the professional school as part of my plan of study, and asked the professor (who is in R's department) for suggestions. He told me to talk to M, and even spoke to M on my behalf. M was extremely helpful (she is an expert in part of what I am studying). The tests and protocol that M suggested were completely different from R's friend's suggestion, and are considerably more valid (the opinion of NP, the prof from my class, etc.) M has gone out of the way to train me in techniques and find information, even though I am not her student. She has been more helpful to me than R ever has. M even went to talk to another expert for me (she thought it would be useful), and when she did...
3) The expert and R were working together, and M approached the expert and asked his advice, used my name. R immediately flew off the handle and jumped M's case: "Why is she talking to you?!? She is MY grad student!!!" M was accompanied by her grad student, who asked R if he knew anything about the technology in question. No, he didn't.
The next time I was training in M's lab, she approached me and said that it wasn't her place, but she didn't want me to be blindsided when he confronted me about it (coming up). She also gave me advice, which was to get him off of my committee. She says that he is a loose cannon, and is confrontational with most everybody. She also said that in her annual review, the department head had read R's comments and dismissed them as BS, saying that he had contributed very little to the department, and had blown his startup package on traveling to seminars all over the world (he did not present at any of them). She said that she doesn't usually have problems with R, but the way she deals with him is just to tuck her tail and run.
4) So NP and I and gone to pick up supplies for the field work (R was out of town at a seminar-not presenting). He had wanted us to drop off the list and then he would pick it up. The supply clerk would not let us do that, so we had to take the supplies and store them in M's office. I emailed R and told him where the supplies were. He sent me a fairly nasty email, asking why I had done that, etc. Then, he called me, on a Friday night, and starts out with, "I'm not mad, BUT..." and confronted me about the supplies and meeting with M, and that I should tell him who I am talking to in his department. I told him that he was my advisor, not my parent, and I can talk to whomever I wish. I had forwarded the email to NP, who had also received an email, but a considerably more polite one. NP was thrilled that I was talking to other experts for their input, R seems to be threatened. Did I step on toes? Am I not supposed to ask for outside advice?
I don't know if this happens alot, and if I should just suck it up and deal. I know two other grad students who deal with R, one who has him as an advisor, and the other has him on her committee. The one that he advises, L, is having huge problems, as he has just left her to fend for herself. The other one has found him to be pompous. L said that he calls and yells at her as well, and that when she goes to his office he is sympathetic, but not helpful.
R was already kicked off of one committee that we know of, and R's major professor did not recommend him for his current position. He has not published since he arrived 3 years ago, and has received an ultimatum from his department head. I think he is clinging to my project because of the travel aspect and because of the publishing potential. I question his value as a contributor for this project, and could probably pick up M in his place. M has been here one year less than R, but has published 6 papers since her arrival. Has anyone else experienced this particular flavor of hell? Any thoughts or opinions as to how to handle this? I apologize for the length, but I wanted to give an idea of the situation. This is completely stressing me out.
posted by anonymous to education (15 comments total)
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After you jettison this guy, it will be clear to you, too. Even if he does get tenure- which is extremely unlikely based on what you say here, his possessiveness and irrationality, his jealously and his temper tantrums, are going to only get worse. He also seems fundamentally unhelpful. I encourage you to ask nice Prof. M to be your adviser instead before this gets enve more complicated and before you become even more dependent on Prof. R.
Get away from this person, and stay away from them. His behavior will not improve, it will get worse. When he doesn't get tenure, he'll take it out on you, and then he'll be gone and you won't have an adviser.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 9:47 AM on March 2, 2008