An old friend who I haven't seen at all over the past 5 or 6 years invited me to her bridal shower. I have no idea what to get.

March 1, 2008 9:52 AM

An old friend who I haven't seen at all over the past 5 or 6 years invited me to her bridal shower. I have no idea what to get.

P.S. she's nineteen and her fiance is thirtyish. Oh, and the shower is tomorrow.

If I can't find anything, I'm not going to go.

posted by hypervenom to human relations (13 comments total)

Is she registered anywhere? Call her or who ever is throwing the shower to see if she's registered - then just pick something off the list.

Other than that, you could really get her any thing. Since you didn't give much detail about her (and maybe you don't have much detail) it's hard to say what would be a good gift for her. It's nice of you to think of going though.
posted by Sassyfras at 9:57 AM on March 1, 2008

Towels. I'm not kidding. Go to Macy's or Bed Bath and Beyond and get her four luscious good quality oversized bath towels in white or ivory. They are practical and will be used and appreciated.
posted by LoriFLA at 10:03 AM on March 1, 2008

You haven't seen her since she was 13 years old? I'd say skip it. But if you want to go, I agree with LoriFLA -- towels are always good, especially if you include a gift receipt. (If someone who I hadn't seen for five years invited me to a shower I'd presume it was primarily to get a present, so a returnable item is probably what she really wants.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:13 AM on March 1, 2008

Towels are a great idea.
posted by hypervenom at 10:14 AM on March 1, 2008

One of the best wedding gifts I ever gave was the book All About Us and a few gift cards to restaurants. I informed the couple that their gift was "quality time together." They said they loved the chance to focus on each other after the chaos of getting the wedding ready. I bet it would make a good shower gift too.
posted by christinetheslp at 10:36 AM on March 1, 2008

I second the "skip it" idea. If she hasn't(or you haven't) made time within the past 5-6 years to see each other, then you aren't that good of friends.

You're invited only because it means a gift. Afterwards, you'll feel like it was a total waste of your time, and money.

If you really like the idea of getting somebody something, skip the shower and buy something for someone you like instead.

Good luck!
posted by hal_c_on at 10:42 AM on March 1, 2008

This sounds like a perfect opportunity to make a donation to The Human Fund in her name as your gift. That is from a Seinfeld episode where George invents a charity and hands out Christmas cards with the donation mentioned as the gift. I think it is entirely appropriate to respond to a cheap ploy for a present with an equally cheap ploy at appearing generous.
posted by 45moore45 at 10:46 AM on March 1, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

If you're acquainted with her mother or any other relatives or closer friends, you could call them and ask for ideas or registry information.

But... this sounds like a gift grab. Are you invited to the wedding as well? It's a breach of etiquette to invite someone to a bridal shower without also inviting her to the wedding, so I'd say if you aren't invited to both events, don't go to the shower on principle.
posted by orange swan at 11:29 AM on March 1, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Without knowing anything else, and having been involved with numerous bridal showers, I'm nthing that this you probably just got an invite for the gift. I know it sounds horrible, but I watched my supposedly kind and generous friend plan a destination wedding because "that way, the people who I don't like won't bother coming, but they'll still have to send a gift." Send a card if you REALLY want to.

If you don't think this is the case, find out bout a registry, if there is none, go for towels or a gift card to a place like Bed Bath & Beyond.
posted by AlisonM at 11:58 AM on March 1, 2008

A bridal shower is supposed to be hosted by and the guest list comprised of the bride-to-be's closest friends, or in the case of work-related showers, people with whom the bride sees/works with closely.

If you feel you don't fall into either of the above categories, send a card expressing your best wishes.
posted by jamaro at 12:05 PM on March 1, 2008

A lot of people are assuming a lot about your friend and your friendship. OK, you know what to look out for, and how not to "be a victim".

Now, on the off chance that you do want to go, whether out of curiosity or because you actually care about your friend, here are some actual suggestions:

picture frame - for a photo of the happy couple and/or their wedding day (or her friends, including you);

photo album - a classic, and I've actually heard people ask for this;

sachet pillows;

embroidered handkerchiefs (check any antique store for these);
posted by amtho at 1:03 PM on March 1, 2008

If you can't/don't want to contact anyone to find out about a registry, you can try to find it on the knot. They search several of the most popular registries, if they are registered somewhere like a department store or crate and barrel, you'll likely get a hit.

If that doesn't work, there's always tacky lingerie. Or a basket with a bottle of wine, a few candles, and some bubble bath. His and her bathrobes if you're feeling generous.
posted by ferociouskitty at 2:09 PM on March 1, 2008

Towels also has the bonus of being a pun. Shower... towels...

I find it funny anyway.
posted by Lotto at 3:17 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]