Excuse me, ladies, how long is your kissing window?
February 27, 2008 7:57 AM Subscribe
So there's this beautiful woman that I'm finding myself overwhelmingly attracted to. We have a great time, seem to have some chemistry, some central common interests. There's been a couple of moments when I thought that she wanted me to kiss her. But they don't last long. Oh yeah, she's a biter.
posted by anonymous to human relations (44 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
So there's this woman that I know. I like her a lot. A lot a lot. I think I might like her a lot a lot a lot a lot.
I know her from a class. She was (I think) dating someone from the class. I believe she is not dating him any longer. He seemed sort of lame. But it made me very sad, as I was trying to take things pretty slow with her.
Recently she came over my house for dinner. To talk about a mutual interest/hobby/passion we have. It was pretty awesome.
So here's the meat of the question. I was really unsure of where I stood at the time, because of the other dude. Not sure if this was a date or what. I think it was not a date. I believe we've yet to have been on a real date. So I was showing her something on my computer, and she was sitting in my chair and I reached across her to grab the mouse, and she leans over and bites me. On my arm. Really, really hard. I thought it was going to be black and blue, but was dissapointed when it wasn't.
It took me a second to figure out what just happened, and then, not so smoothly, I was like "why did you bite me?" and she said "I couldn't resist".
And she looked at me for like a millisecond, and I was thinking, ok, I kiss her now? And then, just as quickly, she turned her head and said she had to go...put on her coat and said goodnite, gave me a hug and left.
Saw her again this weekend, spent a couple of hours with her. Had an equally nice time. Lots of joking. That could be flirting? It was flirtateous. But I believe she's the type of person who is generally charming and flirtateous and maybe really hard to read. So when I was leaving, I looked at her and she was looking at me, and there was this second where I thought I could kiss her and then just as fast as the last time, she turns her head and gives me a big hug, and then I leave.
Ok so I'm confused. Am I expected to jump in, real quick, when I have the chance? I'm used to kissing where there is a sort of long look. I'm generally more comfortable with women letting me know they want to be kissed, where it's pretty clear what's going on. But after both these occassions, I felt like kissing might have been appropriate...maybe even wanted by the other side. And if she'd kept my gaze like 2 more beats, I would have gone for it.
I'm wondering if I'm a) being a panzy for not going in quickly when the moment presents itself or b) being smart and taking some time and sucking up the way this makes me totally bonkers and how I just want to kiss her the whole time I'm around her. Additionally there's c) wondering if she's wanting me to make a move and may get bored if I don't and d) wondering if she wants this all to take a really long time and I need to plan on being cool and waiting till it really feels comfortable. Oh yeah and there's e) that in the end she's just going to want to be friends and I'm going to have wasted all this high end worrying for nothing. I've had E happen a few times and it's my backup anxiety.
So, ladies of Askmefi, if you are letting a guy know that you want to be kissed, how long do you let him know for, and how fast do you turn away?
If it matters, she's an early 30s, super hot geeky type, a touch of sexy librarian, with an excellent sense of humor.