Male with female hips
February 17, 2008 10:27 PM Subscribe
Male in early twenties with what can only be described as female hips. What's going on, and what does it matter?
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (31 answers total)
My earliest memories of worrying about the wideness of my hips are from the summer before senior year of high school, when I was 17, nearing 18. I have a photograph of myself at that time in which they're quite noticeable, and they've gotten wider since then. I've gained in weight, too, I should say -- I was below-average for my height the summer before senior year, and I'm now probably above-average, or at least above what's desirable, though I'm a fair distance from fat.
I've avoided talking to a medical professional about this because I don't want them to confirm to me that it's a problem -- I'm worried about how it's impacting my (lack of) relationships with girls (see below), and I don't want to have to acknowledge that I might have a crippling and permanent disability in that area. My parents at first denied to me that there was anything abnormal about my hips (my mom said to me, "What's weird about them? They look just like mine," which was pretty frustrating); now my dad says that although they're wide, they're within the range of normal (they clearly aren't), and my mom will only say that because there's nothing I can do, I shouldn't worry about it. I've only asked friends about my hips once. They at first acted as though they didn't know what I was talking about and then one said "I wouldn't worry about it" and it was left at that, but of course you can't really trust friends for an honest assessment of your physical characteristics.
The only possible explanation I can think of is that I was vegan for two and a half years (from just before my 16th birthday to when I was around 18 and a half), and the estrogen in soy was the culprit. (I ate a shitload of soy when I was vegan.) Before and after my vegan period my diet was/has been omnivorous -- meat, dairy, the whole deal.
As I suggested above, my biggest worry about my hips is that they're impacting my ability to have "romantico-sexual" relationships with girls. If I had other female sexual characteristics, like breasts, I'd certainly be pretty undesirable, and I can't see why having "child-bearing hips" should be any different. But it's really hard to assess what's causing one's lack of success, especially as I think that my desirability, independent of my hips, has declined significantly from the time I had my only relationships. (I had a brief relationship the summer before senior year (the time from which my first memories of womanly hips date), and two brief relationships before then, but nothing at all since then (about four years).) I won't bore you with the reasons why I think this has happened. Obviously I do my best to dress in such a way as to minimize my hips, but this is only possible to an extent, and I don't think anybody is going to be fooled.
So to sum up, what I want to know, as I wrote in the top part of the post, is: What's going on, and what does it matter? Do you know people in my situation? How did it affect their lives? How did they cope?
Thanks so much, everyone, for any comments or suggestions you can give about any of this. Dummy e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org