How much will it cost me to get out of your dreams and into your car?

February 12, 2008 4:32 PM

As a career passenger, when/how much should I chip in for the occaisional ride I get from friends? Roadtrips not included, since I know enough to chip in on those and work it out beforehand...

Other considerations - does it matter:
- how well I know the person?
- how planned the drive was?
- if we stop at a gas station on the way?
- if they were going my way anyways?

And what length of drive do you think merits this consideration?

I certainly don't mind contributing, but since I've never bought gas (or insurance, etc) it's never occurred to me before, so I'd like some drivers' perspectives. Obviously there are no exact answers, but what do you do - or wish your passengers would do?

posted by sarahkeebs to travel & transportation (15 comments total)

It's definitely nice for the passanger to pay for tolls, of they occur. But otherwise, there aren't a whole lot of rules. If I were going your way anyway, or if the diversion weren't too substantial, I wouldn't expect contributions to gas. If I offered you a ride somewhere, I probably wouldn't either, unless it were for a multi-hour trip. You can always offer, though, and you'll seem like a nice gal for doing so, even if the offer is refused.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 4:44 PM on February 12, 2008

This is not what you want to hear, but on average, without the cost of insurance or gasoline taken into account, a car costs $0.35-$0.45/mile to own and maintain. Gas costs approximately $0.10-$0.15/mile.

It really depends upon how often and how long you spend in someone else's car. But the numbers are pretty stark. It ain't cheap. You, as a passenger, make out like a bandit by bumming a ride instead of owning a car.

I say all this as a preface to: be generous. Give what you think you can afford and based on your level of usage. The above numbers are just an approximate.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 4:45 PM on February 12, 2008

If you have friends who regularly drive you places like the store or general life trips, offering to buy a tank of gas once in a while is a nice gesture. If you're the person at the party who is always asking "hey going by my house on your way home?" then you could offer to be the designated driver one night [assuming you have a license] and it might be appreciated.

I think what matters is whether this is the sort of thing that happens regularly or if it's a once in a blue moon situation. Also if you rely on these trips for some part of your life or if they're totally optional, like if you didn't get a ride you'd just take the bus. To me, the reason this matters is that sometimes people feel obligated if they're leaving you semi-stranded if they don't drive you, whereas they'd feel less that way if you were just going to have a less convenient option like the bus. Also if you're a young person and your friends are young people who might not have a lot of money, offering to chip in is probably appreciated. When I was younger and someone picked me up at the airport, I'd always chip in for gas AND parking. Now that I'm older and this is a rarer occurence, usually I just say thanks or offer to take my friend out for a gyro or something.

I had a friend who was a constant passenger and we would usually have a loose tally where a ride someplace he needed to go would be worth an ice cream or french fries or something. It wasn't that I needed the money, it was more of an indication that my time and car were worth something more than just a "thanks!" If I drive my car for work, I get reimbursed about .41 cents a mile, so sometimes just paying the actual cost of gasoline from point A to point B isn't really covering the full "costs" of the trip.

Where I live, pretty much everyone has a car, so if you're giving someone a ride it's because there is something wrong with their car in which case it all tends to even out. In your situation, I'd say offering a few bucks for gas for a trip of any length [keeping in mind that $3 will buy you somewhere between 20-30 miles worth of gasoline in a decent car] since you know you're not going to be able to be reciprocal with the rides.
posted by jessamyn at 4:50 PM on February 12, 2008

Ass, gas or grass.

Nice. All good suggestions.

If you're the only person you know that doesn't drive and depend greatly on rides from other people, I'd be more inclined to say that you might make the effort. Though I never mind driving my friends around, I've had a couple of wheel-less acquaintances buy dinner or a round of drinks "since I did the driving."

If you're hitching a regular ride - daily commute or something - I'd make a more overt offer. Though I've never been in the situation, so I don't know what amount would be appropriate. Nthing above (and below, I'm sure) owning a car is annoyingly expensive.

In a short trip out or running around town and stopping for gas, I wouldn't expect a passenger to give me any money for gas. If I'm going out of my way to cart someone around some picayune (see Mr. box above:) might make the experience more pleasant.
posted by GPF at 4:55 PM on February 12, 2008

I carpool with my friend a lot and he usually does most of the driving, so when we're out at a bar, I will buy him a few beers. He doesn't expect anything in return since I'm not really out of his way, it's just a nice gesture.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:59 PM on February 12, 2008

When my carless friend and I went on a hiking trip ~30-45 mins out of town every weekend for an entire summer, often stopping at a gas station on the way back, it began to get pretty annoying that he never offered money for gas (including the three hour drive to Mt St Helens at one point). He's carless entirely by choice and convenience (two roomates with cars), not circumstance, so it seemed more annoying than if he didn't have a car because he was unemployed or on hard times.

For any number of innumerable other trips that are only slightly out of my way, I don't consider compensation necessary. Rider pays for parking is standard if that comes up.
posted by 0xFCAF at 5:06 PM on February 12, 2008

I agree with the above suggestion on just picking up the tank every once in a while. As a frequent ride-giver, it's always pretty awkward to me when somebody tries to figure out what they "owe" me for rides from X to Y. If you're a pretty frequent rider, though, just pick up the tab sometime when the car stops to fill up for gas - I'm sure it'd be appreciated.
posted by Rallon at 5:19 PM on February 12, 2008

The situation all depends on whether they are taking you around to different places or just dropping you off on their way home. Several suggestions of offering to buy a whole tank seem a bit much unless you've been in the car for the whole tank I don't think that's necessary. I would offer something like $5-10 every 3-4 times they pick you up. Unless I'm entirely misreading how much you are in their car (+20 miles a week)

P.s. An offer to pay is always appreciated, even if it isn't taken.
posted by aetg at 5:39 PM on February 12, 2008

I think gas is expensive enough now (not to mention the insurance and maintenance car owners have to pay for) that you shouldn't even have to ask this question. It costs at least $5 to get anywhere and back now, and it adds up very quickly. Offer at least a couple of bucks or a coffee or something for each ride. You're still getting a bargain.
posted by Camofrog at 6:03 PM on February 12, 2008

I give people rides fairly often. I don't really expect anything in return as they're my friends but offering to pay for gas or parking is always nice. I rarely accept but I tend to like the person more, haha.

A hot chocolate, meal at a restaurant, or a pack of gum are also good ways to pay back, if you're inclined.

The one thing that does bother me though is when people tend to stop thanking. If I've given you a ride (longish distance) say "thanks"
posted by 913 at 6:47 PM on February 12, 2008

I don't know how much you should offer or in what form (gas, grass or ass) and I doubt I would accept gas if offered, but if nothing is offered repeatedly, you would not be given a ride that inconvenienced me. The gesture goes a long way for me.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:54 PM on February 12, 2008

Just FYI the standard rate from the IRS for mileage reimbursement/deduction is currently $0.505 per mile.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:12 PM on February 12, 2008

When my roommate pretty much drove me everywhere, I'd pay to get her car washed (by hand) every month or so. She never really expected anything (since I genuinely tried to make it convenient for her), but it was still much appreciated.

Airport rides and other inconvenient trips got a meal. Now they just know they can ask me for a ride next time. Designated drivers got (and still get) their drinks paid for (usually only one or two, since they're, you know, driving).

Other than that, always, ALWAYS say thanks. Don't ever take it for granted, and let them know how much you appreciate it.
posted by natabat at 9:02 PM on February 12, 2008

If you're doing this semi-regularly, you could base the amount on the cost of using a bus/subway to get to your destination. In my area, a bus trip within town is $2.50. So I'd use that as my basis, since your friend's car is nicer and more convenient and possibly door-to-door. If you're doing this all the time, you should offer to contribute the cost of a monthly bus pass.

If you're not doing it very often, you can just treat your friends here and there as a thanks.
posted by acoutu at 11:10 PM on February 12, 2008

There are no hard-and-fast rules amongst my friends, but some gestures have become trditional in the group.

Designated driver. If you are in a pub, the designated driver never buys a round (soft drinks are not refillable and cost ~1/2 as much as beer in most UK pubs, so this is not quite as trivial as it might appear to USians).

Planned trips. A bunch of us take turns to drive to watch football matches. Once per season (usually the last home match), the non-drivers arrange and pay for taxis for the end of season night out.

Short, on-the-way, type trips are treated as just one of those things that friends are for
posted by Jakey at 2:13 AM on February 13, 2008