wedding shower thing
February 9, 2008 10:24 AM Subscribe
Wedding shower faux-pas, how to recover?
posted by frosty_hut to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I was recently invited, via a group email, to a wedding shower for another person at my part-time job. I've been there a year, and I've chatted with this woman a couple of times. I'm not one of her good friends obviously, but I was invited to a shower for the girls. I knew I wasn't going to be able to attend, but I planned to get her a gift.
Well the date of the shower came and went, and in the meantime I hadn't given her anything or even emailed her to say what was up. In my own defense I was terribly busy, and it just slipped off my radar. I think she and the other girl who set the thing up are upset with me, but it could be my imagination. Anyway, when I realized that I'd forgotten to RSVP, I put a card wishing her well and some candy in her mailbox (I'm a part-timer who works the evening shift, and I never see her).
I feel like both she and her friend who set the thing up are pissed off at me, and I'm very frustrated with myself--here I am trying to do my job and stay under the radar as a newish employee, and I'm just starting to feel competent about technical things in my position, but already I'm screwing up socially. It doesn't affect my paycheck, of course, but it makes me unhappy.
I never can manage to get into the swing of the girl vibe at work, and I'm beginning to resent that this is a part of what I'm expected to do. With two jobs and no way to get around except by bus at the moment, it's hard for me to keep many social committments, so I tend not to make them. When I get invited to something as a matter of course, like these showers that keep happening for people I barely know at work, it's like I've been placed on this conveyor belt and a clock starts ticking, and suddenly I'm under the gun to either RSVP and/or think of a suitable gift, and/or buy a gift, or tell the person I can't make it, or some combination of the above, and this time I messed up and they just didn't hear from me at all.
Did I screw up to the point that I deserve ostracism? (I don't have hard evidence of this, just a noticeable coolness on the part of the lady who sent out the invites). Should I go talk to the bride-to-be and apologize for not RSVPing?