Deep thoughts, hopefully not from Jack Handey though.

February 5, 2008 10:14 AM

Help with a Valentine's Gift.

For part of my Valentine's gift for my partner, I am trying to make a list of open-ended questions, just to get conversation going. We don't have problems talking, it's more that I thought even after a couple years together I don't know how she feels about a lot of issues. And I'd like to.

So, I would appreciate suggestions for broad questions that would lead to interesting conversations. So far, I've come up with things like "If you could go on vacation anywhere, where and why?" and "If you won the lottery what would be the first thing you buy and why?" Obviously these are fairly shallow and I'm very willing for much deeper world issues than that. I just kinda need my brain jogged from this myspace-bulletinesque mindset.

Please suggest away. TIA.

posted by CwgrlUp to grab bag (14 comments total)

If we were running from vampires, would you trip me?

I think that's the only question you really need answered.
posted by Stynxno at 10:17 AM on February 5, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

If you could live for eternity, would you?

You have been given the chance to obliterate one bad thing in the world without consequences. What is it and why?

Imagine you get a chance to spend one more day with someone you love that has died. Who would it be? What would you do?

Describe something that happened in your childhood that made you who you are today.

If you were famous, what charity would you endorse?

Money is no object. Which countries would you visit and what would you want to do or see while there?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:24 AM on February 5, 2008

why not make it a game. put the questions in the hat and ask each other.
posted by thinkingwoman at 10:25 AM on February 5, 2008

I think there are some excellent posts here about questions to ask your parents to get to know them better. Here's one that I found quickly, surely there are more. I think they are perfectly applicable to any loved one you want to know better, familial or romantic.
posted by np312 at 10:33 AM on February 5, 2008

I prefer to ask questions that have happened, because I think "What if" questions tend to veer off towards the answerer making up stuff that sounds good.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done, and why did you do it?"

"When you notice you weren't a kid anymore?"

"What are you most afraid of?"

"What's something you've always wanted to do, but never have? Why not?"

"What's something that you have memorized? Why?"

"Who do you lie to?"

"What do you like most about yourself? What do you think other people like most about you?"

"Are people as a whole closer to fundamentally good or fundamentally bad?"
posted by 23skidoo at 10:58 AM on February 5, 2008

"If you could be the best in the world at any one thing, what would it be/why?"
posted by milestogo at 11:12 AM on February 5, 2008

These are great. Keep 'em comin!
posted by CwgrlUp at 11:21 AM on February 5, 2008

You should search chatfilter on AskMe and use those:)

Leave off the ones asking if a week-old tuna sandwich is safe to eat, and the ones about skin rashes.
posted by DMan at 11:27 AM on February 5, 2008

"What's one fact or story about you that I don't know yet?" This one has started some good conversations between me and my partner. It's also great to ask about relatives and what about them was important to you.
posted by bassjump at 12:33 PM on February 5, 2008

Do you have a plan or set of plans for a zombie apocalypse scenario? If so, with whom would you be willing to share them? (Yes, I've asked this and it led to a wonderful conversation)

What's your favorite childhood joke?

If you were a farmer, where would you live and what would you grow or raise?
Note: If the answer is "Zombies", you're either very lucky or in mortal peril. Keep a straight face until you've determined that you aren't on the list of things to be fed to them.
posted by terpia at 1:19 PM on February 5, 2008

You might want to track down one of these - Table Topics - they have a couples specific edition. We have the generic cube and have had a lot of fun with it.

If nothing else, peruse the website and borrow some of their ideas.
posted by librarianamy at 1:22 PM on February 5, 2008

There are lots of books with questions like this - search for book of questions at Amazon for examples.
posted by splendid animal at 3:37 PM on February 5, 2008

If you could build your own house and spend as much money as you wanted, what would it look like? Where would it be?

What is your idea of the perfect meal?

Did you have any idols growing up? Do you have any idols now?

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

What would you do if you got the same salary that you have now but you didn't have to work for a whole year?

What is the biggest regret you have about your childhood? Is there anything you wish you had done more of?

What's the most peaceful and relaxing place you've ever been? Where do you feel at home?
posted by mulkey at 9:22 PM on February 5, 2008

Following up on Splendid Animal's suggestion, I'd recommend any of the "Book of Questions" series by Gregory Stock (there's an original one, one on love & sex, one on business and possibly others that I haven't heard of).

I bought the original Book of Questions in high school and it helped my friends and I pass many a long bus ride during various school trips.
posted by Jaybo at 8:58 PM on December 11, 2008