Help me steal a street sign!!
January 29, 2008 12:52 PM Subscribe
Does anyone know the consequences for stealing a street sign in Texas if caught?
I know, I know... it's illegal, but I'm going to a bachelorette party in which we are required to bring a prop that reminds us of a favorite memory of the bride, and this one particular street sign would be perfect. I would return it after this weekend, but I just want to know what the worst case scenario would be if I got caught.
Bonus points if you can tell me how to quickly, and easily remove a street sign from it's metal post!
Thanks!!
ps- the sign is not in an area where it will be cause issues to those trying to navigate the neighborhood, fyi.
I know, I know... it's illegal, but I'm going to a bachelorette party in which we are required to bring a prop that reminds us of a favorite memory of the bride, and this one particular street sign would be perfect. I would return it after this weekend, but I just want to know what the worst case scenario would be if I got caught.
Bonus points if you can tell me how to quickly, and easily remove a street sign from it's metal post!
Thanks!!
ps- the sign is not in an area where it will be cause issues to those trying to navigate the neighborhood, fyi.
This post was deleted for the following reason: tips on breaking the law are kind of a no-no here. -- mathowie
Instead of stealing it, take a picture or buy one online.
Oh man, I see this getting deleted pretty fast..
posted by idiotfactory at 12:59 PM on January 29, 2008
Oh man, I see this getting deleted pretty fast..
posted by idiotfactory at 12:59 PM on January 29, 2008
I don't know the laws on the books, and I'm not a lawyer, but I imagine theft of government property is similar to any other theft, and a street sign is well under $250, making it a misdemeanor in many jurisdictions. Stealing a stop sign or other important signs is additional endangerment and you'd be advised not to steal those.
Having removed a sign from a parking lot, I used a monkey wrench for the bolt, and you might want a second for the nut. If it's riveted, you're not going to have an easy time removing it. A pair of thin but durable gloves might be good to get a decent grip and not rough up your fingers too much.
There's two schools of thought on when to do it: one recommends night time for reduced visibility, the other is just to do it in broad daylight as boldly as you will, as though it was your job to remove that sign. In many towns, police patrols occur more often at night, so make your own choice.
If you do get caught, don't run, just admit it was for a prank, explain that you're sorry, and the cop might even let you off with a warning!
posted by explosion at 1:09 PM on January 29, 2008
Having removed a sign from a parking lot, I used a monkey wrench for the bolt, and you might want a second for the nut. If it's riveted, you're not going to have an easy time removing it. A pair of thin but durable gloves might be good to get a decent grip and not rough up your fingers too much.
There's two schools of thought on when to do it: one recommends night time for reduced visibility, the other is just to do it in broad daylight as boldly as you will, as though it was your job to remove that sign. In many towns, police patrols occur more often at night, so make your own choice.
If you do get caught, don't run, just admit it was for a prank, explain that you're sorry, and the cop might even let you off with a warning!
posted by explosion at 1:09 PM on January 29, 2008
One legal possibility -- if it's in a street that other people might have fond memories of, there may be legally purchasable signs. E.g., at the University Coop in Austin you can buy streetsigns for most of the streets near the university.
posted by katemonster at 1:10 PM on January 29, 2008
posted by katemonster at 1:10 PM on January 29, 2008
Probably some old cranks are going to flag your post, but good luck. Inspect the sign before hand to see how it is attached. Look at the bolt/screw, take a picture of it maybe. Then head down to the hardware store and find the tool required to do the job.
posted by ShootTheMoon at 1:11 PM on January 29, 2008
posted by ShootTheMoon at 1:11 PM on January 29, 2008
I can't tell you anything about Texas. I can, however, relate this anecdote, which I hope you find somewhat helpful.
Back in college, my dorm-buddies were very interested in adolescent behaviors. My dorm-buddies would engage in such pranks as locking the pizza delivery person out of her car (after she'd left it running to go deliver a pizza), staging fake shouting matches and fights in the student union, and prat-falling to release a small briefcase filled with tiny metal cylinders that would spin and clank and echo down the hallways of dorms, classroom buildings, and what not. Pretty typical adolescent behavior.
And one of the typical adolescent things my dorm-buddies did was steal a highway sign (please note: this is not meant as any sort of editorial comment on your plan, which sounds like it might be kind of fun, in theory). My dorm-buddies chose this highway sign because it marked a road that bore the same name as our dorm, and we wanted to give it as a gift to our friends who were leaving the dorm, as a sort of souvenir of sorts.
So, my dorm-buddies waited until a dark night, and procured a set of wrenches. My dorm buddies parked right near the sign so that they could climb up onto the hood of the car and, with the wrenches, undo the bolts that held the sign up. My dorm-buddies were amazed at how much larger these signs are than they appear to be from the road driving by at like 65 mph. My dorm-buddies somehow managed to fit this eight-foot sign into their car, and drove it all the way back to campus, terrified that they might run into the police.
But the coast was clear, and as my dorm-buddies pulled into the parking lot next to our dorm, they breathed a sigh of relief as they unloaded their booty under the cover of darkness. Nobody was at the front desk of the dorm as they hauled the sign inside (by this time, I believe it was rather late), and nobody was in the TV room as they hauled the sign up to their hall, and then . . . POW! Rounding the corner from the hallway was a State Highway Patrolman in uniform!
Now, my dorm-buddies had NO idea what a uniformed state trooper was doing in an all-male dorm after 1.00 a.m. at night, but at the time, it didn't even occur to them to ask the officer this question. Instead, the officer asked them, "where did you all get that sign, boys?" To which my dorm-buddies replied, "it was a gift from some friends of ours, who were moving our of their apartment! They knew we lived in this dorm, so they gave it to us!"
In hindsight, I think my dorm-buddies probably had great cause to suspect the troopers' presence in the dorm. But at the time, my dorm-buddies were amazed that the trooper apparently bought their story, and let them go. Strange things happen, eh?
So here's my take-away for you:
1) Wait until night
2) Bring your own tools
3) Get incredibly lucky and
4) Always have a back-up story.
It'll be interesting to see if this post lasts long enough for me to type this entire story, which I know only by virtue of second-hand recounting . . .
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:11 PM on January 29, 2008
Back in college, my dorm-buddies were very interested in adolescent behaviors. My dorm-buddies would engage in such pranks as locking the pizza delivery person out of her car (after she'd left it running to go deliver a pizza), staging fake shouting matches and fights in the student union, and prat-falling to release a small briefcase filled with tiny metal cylinders that would spin and clank and echo down the hallways of dorms, classroom buildings, and what not. Pretty typical adolescent behavior.
And one of the typical adolescent things my dorm-buddies did was steal a highway sign (please note: this is not meant as any sort of editorial comment on your plan, which sounds like it might be kind of fun, in theory). My dorm-buddies chose this highway sign because it marked a road that bore the same name as our dorm, and we wanted to give it as a gift to our friends who were leaving the dorm, as a sort of souvenir of sorts.
So, my dorm-buddies waited until a dark night, and procured a set of wrenches. My dorm buddies parked right near the sign so that they could climb up onto the hood of the car and, with the wrenches, undo the bolts that held the sign up. My dorm-buddies were amazed at how much larger these signs are than they appear to be from the road driving by at like 65 mph. My dorm-buddies somehow managed to fit this eight-foot sign into their car, and drove it all the way back to campus, terrified that they might run into the police.
But the coast was clear, and as my dorm-buddies pulled into the parking lot next to our dorm, they breathed a sigh of relief as they unloaded their booty under the cover of darkness. Nobody was at the front desk of the dorm as they hauled the sign inside (by this time, I believe it was rather late), and nobody was in the TV room as they hauled the sign up to their hall, and then . . . POW! Rounding the corner from the hallway was a State Highway Patrolman in uniform!
Now, my dorm-buddies had NO idea what a uniformed state trooper was doing in an all-male dorm after 1.00 a.m. at night, but at the time, it didn't even occur to them to ask the officer this question. Instead, the officer asked them, "where did you all get that sign, boys?" To which my dorm-buddies replied, "it was a gift from some friends of ours, who were moving our of their apartment! They knew we lived in this dorm, so they gave it to us!"
In hindsight, I think my dorm-buddies probably had great cause to suspect the troopers' presence in the dorm. But at the time, my dorm-buddies were amazed that the trooper apparently bought their story, and let them go. Strange things happen, eh?
So here's my take-away for you:
1) Wait until night
2) Bring your own tools
3) Get incredibly lucky and
4) Always have a back-up story.
It'll be interesting to see if this post lasts long enough for me to type this entire story, which I know only by virtue of second-hand recounting . . .
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:11 PM on January 29, 2008
Flagged. Please don't use Ask MetaFilter to help you break the law.
Not all laws are created equally. There's plenty of questions around here about cannabis and speeding/parking tickets. The OP isn't asking how to steal a stop sign or redirect traffic. It's a harmless prank and the sign will be returned.
posted by explosion at 1:12 PM on January 29, 2008
Since it's Texas, I suspect you'll get the electric chair. ;-)
In all seriousness though, I'm of the mindset that if you have to ask how to steal something then you don't deserve to have it. I'm not a moral crusader, so go for it if you want, but is this "joke" worth whatever fine or consequence you'll receive? I doubt it.
I'm all for "vandalism" if it has interesting social or political commentary, but stealing road signs is just plain idiotic. Like someone else said, take a fuckin' picture!
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb at 1:28 PM on January 29, 2008
In all seriousness though, I'm of the mindset that if you have to ask how to steal something then you don't deserve to have it. I'm not a moral crusader, so go for it if you want, but is this "joke" worth whatever fine or consequence you'll receive? I doubt it.
I'm all for "vandalism" if it has interesting social or political commentary, but stealing road signs is just plain idiotic. Like someone else said, take a fuckin' picture!
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb at 1:28 PM on January 29, 2008
The OP isn't asking how to steal a stop sign or redirect traffic.
I took the AskMe title of "Help me steal a street sign!!" as her asking us to help her steal a street sign.
posted by jerseygirl at 1:29 PM on January 29, 2008
I took the AskMe title of "Help me steal a street sign!!" as her asking us to help her steal a street sign.
posted by jerseygirl at 1:29 PM on January 29, 2008
fandango, she didn't say stop sign, she just said street sign, and implied that it was a uniquely named street that's meaningful to the bride-to-be...this is not to deny your point about emergency services needing street names, especially for an out of the way cul-de-sac.
also, dear flaggers, remember, the guideline isn't "nothing illegal", it's "nothing illegal that is likely to come back and bite Matt in the ass". I just don't see a Texas DA coming after AskMe for a street sign, especially if he's got a nice easily prosecuted case already local with the OP.
posted by nomisxid at 1:31 PM on January 29, 2008
also, dear flaggers, remember, the guideline isn't "nothing illegal", it's "nothing illegal that is likely to come back and bite Matt in the ass". I just don't see a Texas DA coming after AskMe for a street sign, especially if he's got a nice easily prosecuted case already local with the OP.
posted by nomisxid at 1:31 PM on January 29, 2008
Pro-tip: don't relax too much when you're returning it. There's nothing more soul-destroying than being caught putting a sign back.
posted by Burger-Eating Invasion Monkey at 1:36 PM on January 29, 2008
posted by Burger-Eating Invasion Monkey at 1:36 PM on January 29, 2008
Don't do it. Not only is it a jerky move to remove a street sign as others have noted above, but I'd think you are not going to be able to re-attach it properly under pressure if you have to ask how to remove it (not to mention that street signs can be heavy, so you'll probably have, at best, one hand to re-attach it with). If you go at it with a monkey wrench as explosion suggests above, chances are pretty good that you'll mess up the nut and bolt and that you won't tighten it properly when you re-install it.
posted by ssg at 1:43 PM on January 29, 2008
posted by ssg at 1:43 PM on January 29, 2008
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