Comments on: Grooming for, uh, down there?

Question: Grooming for, uh, down there?

gravelshoes — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:18:33 -0800

I have a hairy anus (come on inside...)

I am curious as to the best way to manage my man hair in this region? surely some advanced techniques have been developed which promote comfort and hygiene for this little discussed male burden?

also, what is the benefit of my hairy anus from a darwinian/evolutionary point of view?

By: corpse

corpse — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:29:11 -0800

Brazilian wax? link

By: ChasFile

ChasFile — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:30:31 -0800

Wax.

Or shove this thing up there if you're feeling adventurous.

(Takes a stronger man than me to broach this question in such a public forum.)

By: gleuschk

gleuschk — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:35:55 -0800

also, what is the benefit of my hairy anus from a darwinian/evolutionary point of view?

Same as eyelashes, nose hair, cilia of all sorts: traps unwanted particulates.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:42:58 -0800

You could probably follow the general shaving procedure here.
Although I would just stick with trimming rather than shaving.

By: punilux

punilux — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:43:05 -0800

Wax? Back, Sack & Crack? Take it from one who knows. Don't. Just live with yer 'airy bum.

By: mischief

mischief — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:44:02 -0800

In the immortal words of those saviors of all that is masculine, the Beastie Boys:

And if you wash your ass then you best use soap.

Or, is this simple practice not working for you?

By: amberglow

amberglow — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:50:53 -0800

unwanted particulates=dingleberries.

wax, or trim...don't ever shave. also, the whole feeling down there is different when waxed, and weirdish.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:58:02 -0800

Napalm.

By: bob sarabia

bob sarabia — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:58:49 -0800

bless you for having the anus hairy enough to post this question.

also, I would go with some scissors cuz take it from me, you don't want to get clippers in that region.

By: Steve_at_Linnwood

Steve_at_Linnwood — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:11:04 -0800

(come on inside...)

No, thanks...

By: mischief

mischief — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:11:06 -0800

I have been known to Nair my entire body, but only for reasons of kinky sex.

By: thatothrgirl

thatothrgirl — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:17:02 -0800

Or you could always go the (alleged) Lara Flynn Boyle route and bleach it.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:50:26 -0800

Where I come from (Southern Maine), there are a few things a man doesn't do, and shave his asshole is about four of them.

If dingleberries are a problem, buy some Wet Ones and change your diet. Shaving anything but your face (and that creepy shoulder freckle that basically grows a pube) is going to be more maintenance effort than it's worth. If you think butt hair is uncomfortable, butt stubble sounds 400 times worse.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:57:26 -0800

Try the oh-so-appropriately-named Nads Hair Removal Gel.

(I know, I know, the anus is not a nad, it is a nether-region, but it is a nether region in the region of some bona-fide nads)

By: thatothrgirl

thatothrgirl — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:59:32 -0800

It is also possible to have the somewhat permanentLaser Hair Removal down there, too.

And that Nad's crap is teh suck.

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:15:21 -0800

There have been some hilarious posts on alt.tasteless about this very issue.

The consensus, and I can attest to this, is that if you enjoy the sensation of sweat-lubed butt cheeks sliding around, followed by stubble-induced arse-rash, then by all means, shave your ringpiece.

I can't think what the evolutionary benefits might be, but perhaps hairy bottoms are neutral from a fitness perspective.

By: matteo

matteo — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:16:17 -0800

in my gym's sauna and steam bath, I regularly see a few guys with a completely hairless crotch -- if you PayPal me 10 bucks, I am going to build up the nerve and ask them how do they remove the hair down there

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:39:46 -0800

Fiber solves most of the problems ass hair causes.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:41:42 -0800

Evolutionary advantage: pheremones hang out amongst the hairs.

By: Quartermass

Quartermass — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 13:58:00 -0800

omg

By: Stoatfarm

Stoatfarm — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 14:06:27 -0800

WTMIfilter

By: milovoo

milovoo — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 14:22:03 -0800

Or you could always go the (alleged) Lara Flynn Boyle route and bleach it.

Speaking of wTMI, I believe the point was not that she bleached the hair, but the skin. Compared to that removing the hair seems almost pedestrian. I suspect we'll never know the truth on that one, and I'm OK with that.
I searched with my eyes closed and here is the first result from my quickly closed google window.

If it were Sherilyn Fenn then perhaps ...

By: pomegranate

pomegranate — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 14:38:10 -0800

Whatever you do, if you're a judge, don't shave your situation while on the bench.

At least not in Oklahoma.

By: yoga

yoga — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:12:21 -0800

Wow. A male problem I'm glad I don't have. My sympathies. I think.

By: dame

dame — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:20:39 -0800

Don't do anything but keep it clean.

The message brought to you from the Anti-Deforestation League, saving hair since 1985. (Ear hair exempted)

By: Wolfie

Wolfie — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:27:14 -0800

the brazilian wax all the girls are doing these days includes an ass wax. that is the absolutely least painful part of the whole ordeal - and it absolutely rules to have that bit of hair gone. regrowth really just isn't that bad. Granted I live in San Francisco - but a lot of the spa's / waxing places around here offer a "manzilian". Could be worth checking out.
Don't use any of the hair removing lotions you can buy at the drug store - they are all full of really awful chemicals that I imagine would really really hurt if put on or around that area.

By: gravelshoes

gravelshoes — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:40:02 -0800

did Lara Flynn Boyle have a hairy anus? I shall think about her quite differently from now on.

all this talk of waxing my arse makes me rather queasy. I think I'll just have to learn to love my hairy anus, even if it does mean I'm an evolutionary cul-de-sac. so to speak.

sorry for bringing the whole thing up. now we lost the football, my hairy anus doesn't seem quite so important anymore.

By: matteo

matteo — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:45:21 -0800

Courtney Love said:

Wax My Anus!

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:49:18 -0800

OMG. Gravelshoes, you got balls!

Here's the skinny I've heard: sugaring. Seems to be promoted as even better than waxing. Based on some allegedly ancient Egyptian practice. Basically it's a soft crack (groan!) sugar mix, of some quantity of granulated sugar and some quantity of lemon juice. I have no idea what the proportions are. There are retail versions available, not sure where.

What I do know is that some female friends of mine swear by it.

Nair sounds absolutely painful to me. Doesn't it say in big bold letters to not let it within ten feet of mucous membranes?

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 15:52:10 -0800

OMG! I just realized that you guys are saying LFB bleached her anus. As in, making the winking brown eye a winking normal skin-tone eye.

How. Absolutely. Sick.

The pain would be awful.

My vote: love your anus as it is.

By: Keyser Soze

Keyser Soze — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 16:11:44 -0800

Speaking on Nads Hair Removal Gel, my friend once masturbated to Nair when he was 12, because he saw a hot chick using it on TV.

By: Blue Stone

Blue Stone — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 16:43:39 -0800

Invest in a bidet.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 17:00:19 -0800

I say just use one of those trimmer things they advertise on TV. You don't need smooth, comfortable closeness here, and frankly I don't think you want to use an actual blade.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 19:27:51 -0800

Masturbated to Nair or masturbated with Nair? God, I hope it was the former.

I just googled for sugaring, and found a dead-easy Nads recipe in the first two links. Should be worth a try. Gotta be better than stubble-causing blades, that's fersure. Although... the actual ripping-out of hair is gonna have to hurt like a bugger.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 21:37:06 -0800

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 23:16:10 -0800

FFF it will hurt far worse than a meer bugger.

Tried some sugar stuff once. Ripped out the roots, complete with blood. Fortunatly, it was not in a delicate area. You don't want to rip anything down there.

What you need is a trimmer and a very close friend with a steady hand. And no obsession with perfection.

Butt: if you have a furry butt, just forget it. You'd look very weird with a trimmed crack and fur all around.

By: biffa

biffa — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 02:22:31 -0800

There was a TV programme on in the UK a year or 2 back that showed someone getting a back, sack and crack wax. Looked exceedingly painful, though not bloody. The bloke involved was doing it for sexual reasons not hygiene though, which might explain why he didnt wipe his arse before having it filmed for national telly.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 06:24:05 -0800

AskMetaFilter: that creepy shoulder freckle that basically grows a pube

By: Witty

Witty — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 06:27:22 -0800

This may be the funniest comment I've read in months.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 11:20:13 -0800

OMG! I just realized that you guys are saying LFB bleached her anus. As in, making the winking brown eye a winking normal skin-tone eye.

Perhaps Jack Nicholson is kinkier that we had previously assumed.
(and if you want an even scarier mental image, maybe he got the procedure done as well, eeeaghh!)