Comments on: Urinal Aiming

Question: Urinal Aiming

pissfactory — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:12:37 -0800

UrineFilter: What is the best place to aim in a standard wall-based men's urinal to minimize spray (on yourself)?

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:18:21 -0800

An inch above the water line and dead-center. As far away from you as possible, and the lowest possible altitude that won't churn up the standing water.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:35:44 -0800

Mayor, there's usually no water line in a wall-based urinal.

I would say, anywhere but the cake, which will kick up a lot of spray. And stand back as far as practical, then take one graceful step forward as your spray dies away.

This is why the urinals at Wrigley Field are the best. Something about peeing into a huge stainless steel communal trough just seems very sanitary to me.

Also, how many times do you have to shake it before you're playing with it? Is it two? Three?

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:43:21 -0800

Mayor, there's usually no water line in a wall-based urinal.

I haven't seen one with just a metal grate in years. You guys must go to some seedy bars.

fun fact: In New England, a urinal is usually referred to as a "bubbler," and we take great prode in them. It's traditional, after you urinate, to tell anyone in earshot that you "just pissed in the bubbler." Try it the next time you visit.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:43:55 -0800

No matter how much you shake and dance, the last few drops always land in your pants.

By: hootch

hootch — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:45:22 -0800

According to Cecil Adams, you should aim for the back wall.

The rear wall of the typical urinal is parabolic in cross section when viewed from above, and the porcelain finish is conducive to laminar flow. The principles of fluid dynamics tell us that a fluid striking a smooth surface at an oblique angle will tend to flow along that surface. Assuming the source of the fluid is near the focal point of the parabola--and modesty makes it unlikely he'll stray too far--the fluid will run straight down the urinal wall with little or no splashing.

...management at the international terminal of New York's Kennedy airport specified that the image of a black fly be printed on the porcelain at the center of the back wall of every urinal. When given a target, it seems, men instinctively aim at it. The fly was originally introduced at the Schiphol airport in Amsterdam, where it supposedly reduced spillage by 80 percent.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:55:41 -0800

Tangentially related - 15 things you hope never happen to you in a urinal, shot entirely with a Game Boy camera.

Also - this guy might want to be notified about the answers to this question.

By: biffa

biffa — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 08:04:45 -0800

You could just work on overcoming your social conditioning and go and sit down if you're that worried about splashes.

stupidsexyFlanders: As we say around here - more than three's a wank.

By: kokogiak

kokogiak — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 08:15:09 -0800

Imho, it's usually best along the curved side - the more oblique the angle of attack, the less reactive splatter. Also, the stream is still more coherent, nearer to the source, so additional splashing is minimized.

Never verbalized (textalized) that before.

By: crumbly

crumbly — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 08:15:12 -0800

Keep your angle of incidence as low as possible. Avoid any standing water.

By: Shane

Shane — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 08:32:56 -0800

There's a great scene in The Last Emperor in which the Emperor, now thoroughly humbled and living in prison, is told by an irate guard to piss against the side of the bucket, becauses otherwise the splashing sound wakes up the other prisoners and ticks them off.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 10:16:41 -0800

I'm with kokogiak, though I have absolutely no empirical evidence to back it up.

FWIW, I love this question. It's what AskMe was born for.

Related question: When peeing at someone's house (or at your own, or anywhere where there are people in earshot), what do you do with a toilet that stores a lot of water in the bowl, which makes for a noisy time? Do you just let it ride and act casual? Sit? Have really good aim?

By: Quartermass

Quartermass — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 10:35:21 -0800

mkultra: I experienced this last night. I just tried to aim above the water right onto the porcelin, and then midstream, I flushed so to drown out any extra noise I made finishing.

By: sgt.serenity

sgt.serenity — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 10:45:43 -0800

yep , i get that last emperor scene in my head everytime i go .

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:37:23 -0800

You could just work on overcoming your social conditioning and go and sit down if you're that worried about splashes.

In a public shitter? Where there self-aware angry turds lurking in the bowl, just waiting for you to put your tender flesh within biting distance? Where germs the size of golden retrievers cavort on the toilet seat? Ugh.

Pissing in the toilet instead of the urinal is the a-number-one option for avoiding splashback, but you won't find my lily-white ass kissing a public toilet's seat unless it's the Hour of the Angry Colon and there's just no alternative.

By: pissfactory

pissfactory — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:44:10 -0800

It's funny that your username is pissfactory.

Coincidence. It was a name of a local band that I stole.

By: themadjuggler

themadjuggler — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:50:28 -0800

Yikes, I also live in New England and call sometimes call a water fountain a bubbler... I hope I'm not mixing these things up!

By: kokogiak

kokogiak — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:53:02 -0800

Some amazingly flowery descriptive text in this thread, considering the subject matter ;)

By: rorycberger

rorycberger — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 17:09:25 -0800

fun fact: In New England, a urinal is usually referred to as a "bubbler," and we take great prode in them. It's traditional, after you urinate, to tell anyone in earshot that you "just pissed in the bubbler." Try it the next time you visit.

Brilliant.

Yikes, I also live in New England and call sometimes call a water fountain a bubbler... I hope I'm not mixing these things up!

Not brilliant.

By: mdn

mdn — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 18:47:45 -0800

rory, it's possible the juggler's just more meta than thou... I can never tell these days what's cluelessness and what's intended as another layer to a joke.

By: Lynsey

Lynsey — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 19:37:59 -0800

Self-aware angry turds? Hour of the Angry Colon...? ROU_X, you made my day - a true ROTF AskMe moment. Thanks! :D

By: jmgorman

jmgorman — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 19:48:23 -0800

ROU_, LOL, I just about spewed beer out my nose.

(its my first one, I think I'm still safe for mefi)

By: bingo

bingo — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 19:55:31 -0800

Wicked random.