No luck on the dating scene.

January 24, 2008 8:37 PM

Where does my friend meet a decent guy between the age of 47-55? She has tried the on-line dating service costing $100 to no avail.
posted by sweet tooth to human relations (7 comments total)

Without more information, it's hard to really offer any advice. Where does your friend live? What type of guy is she interested in? Has she completely given up on online-dating? Is she willing to travel?

With out more information all I can really suggest is either Church or the VFW club.
posted by wfrgms at 8:41 PM on January 24, 2008

If you want to meet people, join groups that do whatever you like to do. If your friend likes books, join (or start) a book club, or volunteer at the library. Swimming? check the YMCA.

Here she may meet new people, with common interests,and share their company. If not right away, she's still doing what she enjoys, until the right guy comes along.
posted by TDIpod at 10:53 PM on January 24, 2008

TDIpod makes a good point, my mom met her guy at tango lessons after a few years trying to find somebody online. She said she was still glad she'd looked online because going on some (bad) dates at least got her out of her shell. Which is a good point: you won't find anybody if you aren't emotionally open to it. Is she really ready or just browsing profiles?
posted by cali at 11:13 PM on January 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

You can always try Craigslist, at least its free.
posted by sophist at 3:48 AM on January 25, 2008

It's hard to give specific advice without more detail. Does your friend live in a decently populated area where she can meet men in real life? Is she super-picky?

Unless she lives in an isolated rural area or tiny town, your friend might do well to get out of the house and do things. She needs to do things she LIKES to do, not just show up "on the make." Does she like dancing? Animals? Politics? She can go out and join a dancing group or club, volunteer at the local animal shelter, or do work for her political party. Even becoming a regular at her local Starbucks or whatever will give her a chance to meet people.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:12 AM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd second the suggestion to tell her to try volunteering (a good way to meet guys with big hearts and altruistic outlooks), working as a docent in a local museum, or taking an adult education class for a hobby she's always wanted to learn, such as pottery, painting, writing poetry, etc.

These options give her the chance to meet someone intellectual, interested in improving himself, and it's a no-pressure setting; the worst that can happen is she will make new friends who might introduce her to Mr. Right!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:29 AM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

The best way to find a man (or a woman) is to stop looking.

Go out and do things that make you happy - whatever that may be. Meet other people, and don't be looking for a partner.

Every time I've met a guy it has happened when I wasn't looking. When I was looking, I never liked what I saw. There's something about letting go of the search and just reveling in the things that interest and excite you that makes you more open to meeting someone. And if you're doing those things, chances are you are going to find someone with whom you share common interests. And that's when the magic happens.
posted by kat at 6:16 PM on February 2, 2008 [1 favorite]