Tendering proof of divorce online

January 16, 2008 3:12 AM

I would like to be able to prove whether somebody I've met online is actually divorced (or not). What are the ways I can do this?

Putting the issue of feelings aside for a moment, should I just ask this person to fax me a copy of their divorce certificate? Is there an online registry I could check? What am I missing here (it's 6 am in the morning, so it could be a lot).

posted by JaySunSee to grab bag (10 comments total)

The first thing is, what's the jurisdiction in which the person resides? Methods vary. Secondly, what level of proof do you want, ie what do you want it for?

I'd suggest a photocopy by snail mail, notarized with the notary's signature in pen.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 3:22 AM on January 16, 2008

The jurisdiction is United States and Canada (sorry, I can't any more than that) and the level of proof I want is solid enough so that I feel comfortable matching this person with somebody I care about.

Perhaps the question should be: how do I make sure this person is not married or merely separated or estranged from their spouse, and is truly single/divorced as they say they are?
posted by JaySunSee at 3:30 AM on January 16, 2008

This is going to seem snarky, but I mean it sincerely.

The answer: you ask them. If you don't trust their answer, you rethink whether you want to make any representations about/for them.
posted by mikel at 3:39 AM on January 16, 2008

This ought to be a matter of public record, no? This page certainly seems to suggest it is, and describes how to pull the record if you already know all the relevant details. But I have no direct experience with this kind of thing.
posted by Coventry at 4:04 AM on January 16, 2008

Google the clerk of the court for the county where the divorce allegedly took place. Where I live, the clerk's website has online public records/official records that you can search and it shows marriage certificates as well as judgments for divorce (you can't read the actual judgment for divorce document, but they do have an entry showing the date the judgment was entered). I'm sure that not all jurisdictions provide this luxury, though.
posted by momzilla at 4:57 AM on January 16, 2008

mikel has it. if you don't trust their answer why would you ever match them with somebody you care about?
posted by phil at 6:02 AM on January 16, 2008

Seconding the county clerk. This is ALL public record. The only obstacle is this stuff is filed at the county level, and since there's 3,040 counties in the U.S. you have to have some idea of where to look, or find a database service that scavenges these records (Lexus-Nexus?).
posted by crapmatic at 6:30 AM on January 16, 2008

In some states, you can search online publicly... but yeah, the best way to be sure is to have said person fax or show you a copy of his or her divorce decree. Make sure it has been notarized and stamped or else it's some crap he/she typed up; it will have at least three different stamps or signatures on it (the judge, the divorcee/attorney representing, and the state or county seal).

I have mine with me at all times, basically, because my ex is a criminal and I often have to prove to authorities/bill collectors that I am not responsible for his mess. Just ask; if he or she balks, forget it.

If he/she won't provide it upon asking, then he/she is lying. You shouldn't have to go around his/her back to get a straight answer. People with things to hide don't always make good mates.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 12:47 PM on January 16, 2008

If the marriage was in Wisconsin, this is all you need. Simple case search.
posted by desjardins at 1:18 PM on January 16, 2008

I appreciate all your insightful suggestions. Thank you.
posted by JaySunSee at 2:30 PM on January 16, 2008