mental health professionals near malden ma who're likely to have availability like omg NOW

January 9, 2008 2:22 PM

Okay, situation. I need a 'yes this kid is messed-up' note from a doc/therapist/something to stay enrolled in the context of a history of major stretches of no-shows-to-class, no-turning-stuff-in etc. I'm extremely unfamiliar with the institutional health system so pardon me if this is a stupid question but is there such a thing as providers who'll diagnose/vouch for you with depression/ADD/whatever the eff my problem is within DAYS? like a week in ultimate maximum? And how do I find them? (Around Malden, MA)

I don't have help in dealing with the logistics coz my life is a disaster and I'm estranged from my parents etc.

However, cost is not a limiting factor.

I called a couple guys a professor of mine had pointed me to but one didn't return my call and the other isn't available till late jan and that's way too late. Boy I'm screwed. What to do!

(I understand there is a huge mismatch between finding a professional you can work with to change your life around and the imperative to get a 'working diagnosis' but man I gotta get the latter like ASAP)

(Please try to refrain from hints along the lines of 'maybe this is a good thing and you shouldn't be in college right now or take a semester off' etc.)

posted by raisons de coeur to health & fitness (27 comments total)

Surely your campus has a health center for this very sort of thing?
posted by availablelight at 2:24 PM on January 9, 2008

no it's a really really small institution. i'm only supposed to be there temporarily. or that was the plan, once upon a time.
posted by raisons de coeur at 2:27 PM on January 9, 2008

I guess my question is not so much "how do I find someone" coz I can always get on the web and call around as much as--what is the lifecycle for these diagnoses? Does it ages and multiple sessions? Maybe I'm just being pessimistic / panicky
posted by raisons de coeur at 2:36 PM on January 9, 2008

no it's a really really small institution. i'm only supposed to be there temporarily. or that was the plan, once upon a time.

And if the campus health center is anything like the ones I've been too, their ADD/other-academically-limiting-issues counselor has a months-long waiting list. I'd start calling doctors, telling them you need some kind of working diagnosis and possibly a referral. Just go through the phone book. Doctors often have people who cancel appointments and since you're not picky about who you see, I'd reckon you could find one with an opening yet this week. Whether they'll do as you wish might be another story...
posted by the christopher hundreds at 2:45 PM on January 9, 2008

Trying to stay within the bounds set by your last line:
If a doctor knew what was wrong with you they probably wouldn't have a problem writing the letter you need.
You have a week (max) to get that letter. I don't know how things work near you, but the chances of getting more than one session during that time seem quite low.
You're not sure what's wrong; they're seeing you for the first time.
Don't be too hopeful.
(but, without wanting to step on that last line, if you think you need help, get help)
On preview: The phonebook does seem to be the best approach...
posted by muteh at 2:47 PM on January 9, 2008

When I had my nervous breakdown as a high school student, I saw a psychiatrist who was able to give me a note to send the school district with an official diagnosis the same day. This was after crying the entire session and basically pleading with her that I was unable to function. So...if you can find a sympathetic doctor, then yes they can write you a note.

The problem, as you're discovering, is being able to see a psychiatrist right away. You'll just have to call everyone in the phone book. Can you get to Boston easily? I think that'll be your best bet, to try to see a psychiatrist in Boston within the next few days. (Also, notice that I am only recommending psychiatrists; in my experience GPs, PCPs, therapists, and counselors will not or cannot provide official mental health diagnoses--hopefully someone can say if this is true in general or not.)

Also, it sounds like you might need this diagnosis to not flunk a class/get kicked out of school. Talk to your advisor/dean/ombudsman and explain your situation. When I had surgery and crazy complications and had to leave college for a semester, I was able to get a "withdrawal due to health reasons" that didn't affect my grades/scholarships/etc. Good luck.
posted by lychee at 2:47 PM on January 9, 2008

Should have previewed... I know people who have gone through the official university channels (which upon diagnosis entitles you to extra time for tests and assignments among other things). Their battery of tests can take months. I know a couple of people who just brought up their problems at a regular doctor's visit and were diagnosed that same day. IANAD so I don't know whether this is normal or not.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 2:48 PM on January 9, 2008

Why are you self-diagnosing? You don't provide enough context here.

Call one of the major Boston teaching hospitals (Mt. Auburn might be the closest) and see if any of them provide a walk-in clinic for counseling/psychological services, whence you can get a referral to a therapist in private practice. If cost is really no issue, surely you can find an MD shrink to see you on short notice for a customary fee (which will be about $500). But only a dishonest one is going to "diagnose" you with ADD or anything else in one visit, let alone depression, or see you once for the sole purpose of writing you a note so you can skate by with your school after a semester of doing no work.

What kind of college is so small it has no student health services, anyway?
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:49 PM on January 9, 2008

Since it doesn't seem like you care if its legal or not, bribe a doctor or fake it.
posted by mphuie at 2:54 PM on January 9, 2008

Looking over your posting history, this problem goes back a ways. Have you not tried to get help before from somewhere other than AskMetafilter? Because this is not the right place to be asking, and as you clearly recognize, you've waited until the last minute -- again! -- instead of planning and getting things done.

As a professor who deals with students in this situation sometimes, I'm not being unsympathetic, but you've got to take the problems you clearly recognize you have much more seriously, or you'll really screw up your future. Don't just try to find someone to write you a note. Find some real help.

Do you have a regular primary care doctor? That's where to start looking for a referral to a qualified counselor. Bad news: it DOES take batteries of tests and weeks of counseling, at least, to arrive at a definitive and accurate diagnosis of a learning disability, in many cases. It's often a differential diagnosis, determined by how you respond to various medications.
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:55 PM on January 9, 2008

Yeah it's not about not flunking classes/GPA/etc. I flunk most of my classes. It's about being suspended from multiple colleges to smaller ones until this one is also about to suspend me.

And yes, cost is really no issue.

Yeah I'm not interested in being too pushy or dishonest etc. I obviously have issues for which I need to see someone *anyway*. I'm just wondering whether it's unlikely to fit in the circumstances here.
posted by raisons de coeur at 2:57 PM on January 9, 2008

Go directly to your students-with-disabilities office for advice.
posted by loiseau at 3:08 PM on January 9, 2008

maybe head over to the psych ER at cambridge hospital or someplace like it and see what they have to say? alternately, they have a phone number if you want to call and see if they can point you in the right direction. http://www.cha.harvard.edu/psychiatry/acute.shtml lists the phone number as 617-665-1560
posted by rmd1023 at 3:10 PM on January 9, 2008

BTW the alleviating factor is that I checked with the school and they confirmed that it needn't be an MD, just someone our enrollment person could call and chat with, including licensed psychologists. They're sympathetic to my situation, they just need me to come up with formal backup. I won't die if I can't do it within the next week or so but I don't want to just give up without at least trying.
posted by raisons de coeur at 3:30 PM on January 9, 2008

You STILL haven't done anything about this. Oh my GOD. Get off your ass. Shut off your fucking COMPUTER, stop cruising the MALL and go to the ER. Say that you're completely despondent and think you're to the point of being in a major depression and need help. Do it.

You've been posting since July about the same thing, right? Something like *5* threads about virtually the same topic - yet you've not followed anyone's advice. And now you're estranged from your parents? I take it you're still hanging onto the job by a thread or you've got some sort of money stashed if it's not an issue? You claim to realise that it's beyond the 'poor me, my life sucks and I'm a professional slacker' point. Yet you STILL haven't picked up the phone. Or told your parents. FUCK, man. Enough already. If what you write about and state to be is true, then you've moved onto clinical depression. That is very treatable - drugs, therapy. OPTIONS. But you need to, how should I say, actually interact with the health community to get that help.

Take this in the spirit in which it's intended. Stop whining like a five year old, stop crying wolf and get the help you keep kicking stones about. I have two kids, I shouldn't have to be a Mother to a third.

But you know what? The bottom line is maybe, just maybe, this is the final kick in the ass you need. If you can't hide behind the facade of school and need to be a somewhat productive member of society, things will finally change.

Godspeed, my friend.
posted by dancinglamb at 3:43 PM on January 9, 2008 [3 favorites]

Have you tried actually calling around to psychologists near you?
Try this tomorrow morning.

When you call, you can ask them:
a) can you see me ASAP?
b) I am looking to start regular treatment, and also looking to get a note immediately to certify that I'm starting treatment with you and that I have psych problems that have contributed to my academic problems. Depending on what you see in our meeting, might you feel comfortable writing such a note or speaking to my college administrator?

(Also, when you're considering whether to ask for medical leave, assess your situation realistically. Medical leave can sometimes be the absolutely right thing to do. Are there patterns that you're having trouble breaking out of? Do you find yourself saying "yes, but this time will be different; I'm determined to do better this time around", but then a few weeks later you're back in the same old pattern? A medical leave plus active psych counselling might really help.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:49 PM on January 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wow, I just read your previous questions.

This won't get better on its own. It is common, a therapist and maybe meds can really, in fact, help, and the only way to get those things is to take simple steps to get into therapy.

Make appointment, keep appointment, repeat. Don't make excuses for yourself about why you will skip therapy. Recognize that a major symptom of this problem is: weaselling out of anything that would help you snap out of it. Try to stop that one symptom.

Make an appointment with the guy who said he could see you in late January. You can always cancel that appointment if you manage to find one for sooner.

Then call around to other psychiatrists/counselors in your area. Don't turn down appointment times because they seem imperfect for trivial reasons. Get a friend or someone to help you show up to the appointment (eg meet you for lunch right before the appointment).
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:07 PM on January 9, 2008

one of the things the folks at cambridge health alliance (who run the cambridge hospital psych ER, and the intake phone number i mentioned above) can do if you go into the ER is set up some kind of "bridge" therapy until you get into regular therapy. i called them recently about a friend who has a therapy appt set up for about a month away and was looking into short term solutions for the time between now and then.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:43 PM on January 9, 2008

And I just noticed that you say you "flunk out of most of your classes anyway." If that's so, you're only postponing disaster and making it harder to recover your stride once you get healthy. Read the many posts on AskMe from people asking how they can get back into a good educational track after really letting things collapse during their first attempt. It can be done, but the longer you go without solving the underlying issues, the harder it will be. If you see yourself as a college educated person, as someone with a stable career and life, listen to everyone on this thread saying either that we've been there (in our various ways, most of us have had major slipups in life) or that we've seen other people in your situation get it back together.

You sound flippant -- here, and in your other posts -- even though your questions are also desperate. It's a strange combination, like you're laughing yourself into disaster. Sometimes that can be a sign of a major depressive/anxiety disorder, not just a learning disability.

Please call the number rmd1023 gives you above, and then *follow through -- the hardest part. Forget the grades, the professor, school, etc. Just think about getting your own head together, one careful step at a time, even if it means leaving school and scaling back on other things. You can go back and clear things up with the school eventually -- if you've already flunked most of your courses, it doesn't really matter and there isn't much to lose on that end.

Keep us posted if it helps you follow through. Good luck.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:03 PM on January 9, 2008

disclaimer [Needless to say, I should add that I am not a medical doctor.]
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:22 PM on January 9, 2008

Thanks guys. Yeah I'm definitely thinking of going 'screw the whole thing' since all this organizing numbers, calling, waiting for responses and getting around takes so much more energy than I have when all I wanna do is crawl under a warm blanket and disappear. But I'm gonna give the LobsterMitten approach a shot I think (lots of calls + saying I'm looking to start a regular thingie but also some feedback to my school that I'm starting treatment.)
posted by raisons de coeur at 8:28 PM on January 9, 2008

Remember what I said about weaselling out. The things you need to do to get this appointment are, objectively, not that hard. You can do them. You can absolutely do them. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Simple steps. You are just going to call numbers from the phone book, and you already know what you're going to say to them.

Some of the places will just be answering machines, some will say "sorry, we don't have appointments free" -- so some of the calls will be very very short. This is probably under an hour of phone time we're talking about here. You can do this.

Maybe you could ask a friend to come over and help you make the calls? You know you're inclined to wimp out on some of this (phone calls, keeping appointments), so outsmart yourself and make it hard to wimp out. Enlist friends to help you actually show up to the appointments too.

Report back here, if it will help to have us to report to.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:46 PM on January 9, 2008

Boy I'm screwed. What to do!

If money is really no problem, and you need the note immediately, here is what you do:

Withdraw a couple of crisp hundred-dollar bills from the ATM. Find several psychologists in the phone book with solo practices. Write down their addresses. Drive around to their offices, walk in, and tell the receptionist, "I would like to meet with Dr. X. I don't know what your hourly rate is, but if he's willing to make time for me, I have two hundred dollars cash that I am happy to spend if he will meet with me." If the first one won't take you, drive to the next one, and so on, until you find someone.

A little "cash on the barrelhead" will open up a little time in someone's schedule, for sure. Once you're in the meeting, tell them everything you've told us, get a note, and you're golden.
posted by jayder at 10:06 PM on January 9, 2008

And, by the way, you should take with you the printouts of your AskMe questions. They lay out the problem very well.
posted by jayder at 10:07 PM on January 9, 2008

ha jayder, I haven't the moxie to do that sort of thing :) nor a car for that matter

Anyway so yeah. I called back the late-january guy, said it's sort of urgent, he said he's not around next week. I used therapists.psychologytoday.com, and the cambridge health alliance intake thing, and left voicemails.. the CHA lady said just an evaluation would take $300 upfront and that they can't schedule me in till early Feb. Referred me to 3 different people.

One of the people I found via psychologytoday was actually part of a clinical group so they had a proper receptionist and director who made a file for me and landed it at the appropriate person's desk who called me and asked questions etc. so that was very helpful (got an appointment for the 22nd). Meanwhile a couple voicemail people called back over the next couple days. I scheduled an appointment with one of them for Friday the 18th. I kinda want to see her because she lists procrastination, cognitive-behavioral therapy, depression as among her specialties..

Okay so here's the state of affairs. First off the lady in the school office said she was faking me out re: getting it done by Friday because I procrastinate and I can get another week. (bitch :p) I told her how much of a wreck everything is and I don't want to call my parents and break all this news—and she says I can't deal with all of it "until you're happy with yourself" and that "you don't want to be 40 and in the same situation". I told her I got an appointment for the 22nd but she kinda pushed me to get something in next week "so we can start dealing with our paperwork here."

At this point I'm not sure whether I should call around *more* to try to schedule another appointment before Friday or not... everyone I talk to says I should do more just in case the Friday lady won't work out in terms of saying to our enrollment lady that I have contributory issues.. but I get the sense that the school is a little bit flexible in terms of how soon they need me to get this done or what specifically they require from the therapist.

Upsides are that I'm totally comfortable doing this calling around at this point (it's gone from "oh my god i'm calling a therapist" to just a sort of business transaction to check whether their specialties include my potential issues, answer their questions, etc.) and I'm actually really looking forward to the appointments.
posted by raisons de coeur at 5:12 AM on January 13, 2008

That's excellent news. Glad to hear the calling itself feels manageable to you. Sounds like your school admin woman is smart, too.
Can't hurt to keep calling around, right?
But your main priority should be actually keeping the appointments you've made. You're really on the right track here -- go you. (Update again to say you've kept them, if that would be a good incentive. The thread will stay open.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:09 PM on January 13, 2008

That "lady in the school office" sounds like she totally has both your number and your back. You ought to thank her for the tough love. Keep us posted.
posted by fourcheesemac at 3:01 PM on January 14, 2008