Comments on: Be there ST:TNG fans on this here interweb?

Question: Be there ST:TNG fans on this here interweb?

whitewall — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:08:08 -0800

If you wanted to formulate the dorkiest/nerdiest/most obsessive "Star Trek: The Next Generation" question, what would it be?

I'm attending a Q&A session with Patrick Stewart next month following a production of Macbeth. I doubt I will actually be ballsy enough to do this, but I would like to have an extremely irrelevant, extremely pedantic Star Trek question ready to pose on hand. Something referencing temporal abnormalities and episode number and tribbles. Help a heckler out? (P.S. I'm not really going to heckle.)

By: alkupe

alkupe — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:09:31 -0800

how does bok teglach taste

By: mr. creosote

mr. creosote — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:11:07 -0800

I'm not a Trekkie but I'd suggest a variation of "On episode 25, that's where you and the crew of the Enterprise get attacked by these spores? And started acting real weird, like hippies and stuff? When you left your quarters for the last time? And you opened up your safe? Um... what was the combination?", from the Get a Life sketch with William Shatner on SNL. I'd imagine it's pretty widely known.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:12:50 -0800

Have four of your friends stand up behind you holding lamps and ask "How many lights do you see?".

By: Melismata

Melismata — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:17:23 -0800

Try to get hold of the famous skit in "Saturday Night Live" that guest stars William Shatner and his famous "Get a Life! Move out of your parents' basement!" speech. I forget the question that Mike Myers (I think) asks, but the whole sketch is a brilliant parody on trekkies (there have been a few others on SNL, but this is the best).

By: Melismata

Melismata — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:18:31 -0800

Woops, sorry, this was already mentioned....

By: misanthropicsarah

misanthropicsarah — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:26:14 -0800

i am soooooooooooo jealous. seriously, very, very, very jealous.

i'd suggest not asking a doofy tng question. as much as i love tng and picard, it was a long time ago, and he's doing much more as an actor. it seems like he'd have a better sense of humor about it than say, brent spiner, but still. don't be that guy.

but if you must do it, please do the one that ND¢ suggests as that would be awesome. especially if he played along.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:29:35 -0800

I'm pretty certain Brent Spiner has a sense of humor about it.

By: indiebass

indiebass — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:31:29 -0800

I agree... ND¢ has a winner. I don't even watch Star Trek and I get it.

I think you could be a little more subversive and mention something from his work on Extras? There is, of course, the whole bit about him taking off ladies' clothes with his mind, and getting Andy Millman a sitcom. If anything the Star Trek stuff would probably be too predictable.

OOOH! I have it! Ask him for a list of his favorite Armenians.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:55:15 -0800

OOOH! I have it! Ask him for a list of his favorite Armenians.
posted by indiebass at 1:31 PM on January 9

That is a MUCH better suggestion.

By: filmgeek

filmgeek — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:13:11 -0800

Ask him if he'd be interested in a show where he's a spy, but if he really had psychic powers...ah hell...just watch this and you'll know what to ask.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:17:10 -0800

You could ask him for the best way to "Care...with Flair!"

By: Julnyes

Julnyes — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:31:01 -0800

This is killing me as a ST:TNG fan ... but can someone explain the reference ND¢ is making?

By: lunit

lunit — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:40:28 -0800

julnyes: it's the episode where Jean-Luc Picard gets kidnapped and tortured by Cardassians. They try to convince him that he sees only 4 lights, when in fact there are five. It's a pretty dramatic episode - hard to watch for picard fans.

Season 6, Episode 11: Chain of Command

By: squarehead

squarehead — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:40:35 -0800

The first couple paragraphs of this explains it Julnyes.

By: squarehead

squarehead — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:40:56 -0800

What lunit said.

By: RichardP

RichardP — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:40:58 -0800

Julnyes: Chain of Command, Part II, ST:TNG, December 1992.

By: squarehead

squarehead — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:41:46 -0800

Except there are only four lights, and they are trying to get him to see five.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:43:46 -0800

The interrogation begins again, with Madred professing to believe that Picard knows nothing of Minos Korva. Instead, Madred turns on four very bright lights behind him and asks Picard how many lights he sees. When Picard, not surprisingly, sees four, Madred rejects his answer. He calls Picard's attention to a small device that has been implanted in his chest, which Madred can use to produce pain in any part of Picard's body at will. When Picard continues to insist that there are four lights, Madred begins to use this device...

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:44:17 -0800

Way, way too late. Sigh.

By: Julnyes

Julnyes — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:50:29 -0800

ack I remember that episode!! Thanks for the refresher.

By: electroboy

electroboy — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:07:32 -0800

You could ask him why all the erotic cakes he bakes are of women going to the bathroom.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:16:42 -0800

Tell him you've got a broken sewing machine, launch into a long story about how the needles seem to constantly break the thread and finally, ask him if he can tell you how to make it sew.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:19:31 -0800

If you do ND¢'s suggesting, make sure you have a fifth friend with a video camera, and give us all the youtube link. Also, I think Stewart would get a kick out of this.

By: briank

briank — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:19:51 -0800

Years ago, I was at a Star Trek convention where Jimmy Doohan was the celeb, and some uber-geeky teenage boy in a Spck shirt stood up and started asking him about transwarp engines.

Doohan listened politely and said something to the effect of "Son, that's all just make believe. Let's talk about something more interesting." He wasn't harsh, but he made it clear that those sort of questions are a waste of time. And you know he must have gotten TONS of them over the years.

Patrick Stewart is likely to be a bit less forbearing about it.

By: WCityMike

WCityMike — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:46:13 -0800

Personally, out of all the options thus far presented, the four-lights gag sounds to me to be the most clever, with the "Extras" bit a close follow-up.

By: Lizc

Lizc — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:46:41 -0800

by the way guys.. the 4 lights thing is actually a reference to Orwell's 'Nineteen Eighty-Four'

"Chain of Command", a famous episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation in which Jean-Luc Picard is tortured in a fashion similar to that of Winston Smith. Just as Smith is repeatedly shown a hand with four fingers and tortured until he will agree that he actually sees five, Picard is tortured by a Cardassian sadist and is as much told, as asked to see five lights when there are only four.

By: fourcheesemac

fourcheesemac — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:02:36 -0800

You need to ask this guy. He was (maybe is) the Chief Nerd Officer of the entire Star Trek galaxy.

Amazing what you can do with a science degree these days.

By: RussHy

RussHy — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:14:52 -0800

Darmok and the Nerd, his eyes akimbo.

By: greta simone

greta simone — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:16:53 -0800

I wish I got ND¢'s reference. I don't.

By: Doctor Suarez

Doctor Suarez — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:36:26 -0800

Expanding on what RussHy said...

"Complete the following sentence as best you can: 'Darmok, and Jalad, at..." Then lean in for the answer.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:52:42 -0800

Take out a little flute/recorder and ask if he can play it.

By: plinth

plinth — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:54:36 -0800

I suggest that you play this for more comedic effect than heckling effect, something that Stewart might appreciate more than the usual fanboy questions.

For example:

"I have a two part question. First, do you believe that method acting is a long-term detriment to life outside the stage or studio? Second, HOW MANY LIGHTS DO YOU SEE?"

The beauty of that (if it really bears explaining) is that you draw in Stewart and the entire audience with a Very Serious sounding set up and then take him out with the kicker.

He'll never see it coming.

By: Caviar

Caviar — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:33:25 -0800

You guys know that Patrick reads MeFi, right?

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:35:34 -0800

hard to watch for picard fans

And Orwell fans.

By: Brian James

Brian James — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:14:21 -0800

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra! Sukat, his eyes uncovered.

By: grouse

grouse — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 03:24:52 -0800

it seems like he'd have a better sense of humor about it than say, brent spiner, but still. don't be that guy.

Given his portrayal of himself in Extras he must have a pretty good sense of humor about it.