How to cope with an abusive and violent brother?
December 30, 2007 8:06 PM Subscribe
Domestic violence filter : Please help me to cope with my abusive und violent brother.
My twin brother gains satisfaction from ruining my life. What shall I do? (lengthy explanation)
posted by anonymous to human relations (38 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Hello everybody. I have some sincere problems. Otherwise I would certainly not bug you. But maybe some of you might be able to help me out. After all, AskMeFi has a really strong community.
I am a 20 years old German (please excuse my bad English) who attends a local university and works part-time to pay for the expenses. I suffer from physical and mental abuse (since a year now) from my twin brother who is far stronger than me,although I do some weightlifting. He is quite lazy and does not want to study anymore. This is why he currently undergoes on-the-job-training at a bank. Unfortunately, however, he is only occupied with this work for about 7 hours a day. He goes out with friends practically every evening. Until then, however, he does not know what to do and harrasses me in every possible way:
He turns his music extremely loud so that I cannot concentrate on my studying. Or he makes me crazy by banging his fist rhythmically against the wall, that is seperating his room from mine, for extended periods of time. Whenever I encounter him in the corridor he violently bumps into me, sometimes so strongly that I fall to the ground.
He calls me names. He especially likes to cite Gunnery Sergeant Hartman - a character from the movie Full Metal Jacket- word for word calling me Private Pyle and shouting exactly the same lines at me as those in the film. THIS IS NO JOKE.
Apart from domineering over me my brother spents most of his time at home watching TV. I figured I could use this agaist him. This is why I began to run into the living room and (threaten him to) turn off the set-top box, whenever I just could not take it anymore. The set-top box can only be switched on again by entering a Pin code only known to my father. As a result my brother could not watch TV at least until late evening, when my father came home from work. After a few times of beating me up as a form of punishment he recognized that I hazard the consequences and things seemed to get better. But then he began to -slightly though- choke our Dachshund - whom I care for very much - whenever I turned off the TV. As a matter of fact, my only leverage went down the drain.
The only advise my parents give me is to ignore and to evade him, whichs is hardly possible, as he seeks the dispute. Apart from that they (can) do practically nothing to stop my brother. On the one hand, they do notwant to kick him out of the house. On the other hand they could not do so, even if they wanted do, because my brother overpower my dad.
What can I do to improve this situation? Calling the police is definitively a no-no. My parents do not approve this at all in fear of rumours. I cannot move out, either, because I simply can't afford that. Since I already work 6 hours a day, I would not have enough time to study, if I took on a second job to pay the rent.
Please tell me your ideas.