How can I get a prescription for an antidepressant from a GP or (preferably) a walk-in clinic, and how long would the prescription last?
--- Back story ---
I'm quite sure I've been depressed for 15+ years; I used to write "suicide notes" and "wills" at as young as 12 years old, and I've relied on suicidal ideation as a weird coping mechanism ever since (I am not suicidal now). I also have general feelings of worthlessness, crippling guilt and anxiety, uncontrollable crying, etc. Basically, I've always felt like every moment of contentment or happiness I've had is just a temporary distraction from my long-term state of sadness and self-loathing.
However, although I've thought about seeking therapy on and off for about 5 years, I can't bring myself to do so.
One reason is that I've never felt like my depression was bad enough for me to "deserve" treatment.
A second reason is that the whole process of therapy seems like it would just be a huge drain on my time, energy, and wallet (I'm in the U.S. and have health insurance).
A third reason is that I have a huge aversion to talking about my feelings, and when I start to get upset, I physically can't speak. Especially if I start to cry; I just can't make my mouth GO. Also, acts of kindness, empathy, or sympathy usually set me off into hysterical crying and I shut down further. So I have this feeling that I wouldn't make any progress because I'll never be able to communicate the depth or the range of what I feel.
Therefore, I think I need to be on an antidepressant before I can be stable enough to seek therapy.
--- The actual question ---
I've read this thread
and have found it quite helpful. However, I don't understand the process of going to a GP or a walk-in clinic and getting an antidepressant prescription. I don't really have a primary care physician; I do see a great endocrinologist regularly for a hormonal issue (definitely not related to depression), but I would never feel comfortable talking to him about depression. I actually haven't been to a GP in 10+ years; if I feel unwell I just go to an urgent care/walk-in type clinic.
If I go to a walk-in clinic and tell them I'm depressed, will I really get a prescription for an antidepressant? Approximately how long would that prescription be good for (would it be a few weeks, a couple of months, etc.), and what do I do when it runs out? Or does all of that depend 100% on the doctor I see? I have always had a LOT of trouble talking to doctors, even about simple physical symptoms, so any advice on exactly what to say would be appreciated.