My heart is breaking, and I don't know why
December 27, 2007 12:15 PM Subscribe
How do I deal with this overwhelming sadness that has no apparent cause?
posted by happyturtle to health & fitness (30 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I've been depressed for years, probably most of my life. Usually when it was at it's worst, the main symptom was complete apathy and a great desire to sleep most of the day. I've been very happily stabilized on antidepressants for the past 5 or 6 years.
My meds stopped working this summer, and I just started on nortriptyline about 4 or 5 weeks ago. When I was first starting on them, I had random, unprovoked crying spells, but this is... different.
I had started feeling like I could see the glimmerings of the old me coming back just before Christmas. But it hit me about mid-morning today that I feel utterly bereft and heartbroken, with nothing particularly to be heartbroken about. I'm happily married, I have an adorable dog, and I generally like my life. Okay, my job is making me miserable, as past questions show, but this level of sadness is far beyond what one would normally attribute to their workplace. It's the kind of sadness I've felt when grieving the death of someone I had loved.
If I had something to be sad about, then I could work my way through the grief. But in my vast arsenal of coping strategies, I don't seem to have any to help me deal with 'feeling sad with no reason'. Somehow it's just never happened before.
I have an appointment to see my doctor in two weeks, and I've signed up for face to face counselling, but that will probably not start any sooner, and possibly later. It seems frivolous to make an emergency appointment for extreme sadness, but I will if I have to. (An emergency appt at the GP, that is, not going to the emergency room) I've been off sick a lot from work lately, and I'd really like to stay functioning if at all possible.
Has anyone dealt with this before? Any strategies to help me get through this?
(Because most doctors and counsellors would ask at this point--no, I'm not thinking of hurting myself.)