Keeping secrets is keeping me up nights.
December 25, 2007 10:43 PM Subscribe
How do you make everything good again after someone finds out you've kept a secret from them? Thing is, it's not your own secret you are keeping.
posted by Jazz Hands to human relations (30 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My nephew came out to us several years ago and is keeping this from his grandpa(my dad). Some day it will come out that we, the entire rest of the family knows, and has known for years. I feel that will be the bigger issue, I think my dad is cool enough to handle a gay grandson, but the betrayal(?) if that's the right word, of the rest of us is going to crush him.
I was a huge proponent of letting dad know, and my nephew was at first too. My sister/his mom was having a big shocked reaction and didn't want to handle the possible reaction of our dad on top of her own drama and asked him to not tell yet. She accepted it pretty quickly, but I think the status quo took over and everyone is just comfortable now.
I've not had to lie so far, the most I've actively had to do is say that "He's probably not ready to settle down yet" when I'm asked if Nephew is "dating someone special". But I think if it finally comes down to being asked directly, I would have to answer truthfully, and I don't know if that's the right thing to do. So how do I handle a direct question and how do I handle it when the cat's finally out?