If they say "Don't tell Dad!", do you?
December 20, 2007 1:49 PM Subscribe
How much do parents tell each other about the stories/secrets their children thell them?
posted by twiki to human relations (32 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a relatively new stepmom - sort of. Engaged and we moved in together early in the fall.
I've known the kids for two years. He only has them one weeknight and every other weekend; I've seen them most of those "one weeknights" for a year or two, as well as occasional weekends together, but we're finally under the same roof as of a few months ago.
The kids: a boy 14, a girl 12.
The girl in particular has really seemed to enjoy spending time with me, seeking me out when I'm in the kitchen cooking to talk about books she's reading, what dramas are going on at school, etc.
More and more, she's also confiding in me stuff that she doesn't want her dad to know - innocent stuff like boys she likes, the fact that she's wearing bras now, etc.
This is all new to me, since I have no kids of my own. What I'd like to know, from both "birth" parents and steps, if possible, is - when the kid confides something in you and says "Don't tell Dad", do you honor their request?
Assuming that it's not dangerous stuff like suicide thoughts, drug use, etc. her dad is 100% OK with me "keeping secrets" from him that his daugher has told me. But I feel very strange about it, knowing things about his daughter that he - her blood father - doesn't even know. Does that make me weird, or is this just a settling-in period and then I'll get used to it?
I'd love to hear how others have dealt with similar issues in their family.