Congratulations! Here's your whatchamacallit.

December 10, 2007 7:08 AM

What is the name for the gift that a groomsman delivers to the bride on behalf of the groom on the wedding day? What is the name for the gift that a father gives to the moher of his child on the day of birth?

I feel like the first one is called a portage, but I can't remember. I have heard these temrs but they elude me at present.

posted by mds35 to writing & language (9 comments total)

the second is a "push" gift.
posted by odi.et.amo at 7:10 AM on December 10, 2007

I misread the second sentence as: "What is the name for the gift that a father gives to the mohel of his child on the day of birth?" That's altogether different, isn't it.
posted by jozxyqk at 7:16 AM on December 10, 2007

Not sure about the first. I never liked the term "push present". Sounds negative to me. I prefer "baby birthin' bauble". Silly, I know.
posted by pearlybob at 7:30 AM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

The second, as odi.et.amo notes, is a push gift.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 7:30 AM on December 10, 2007

Oops. Mohel-Moher is a very unfortunate typo indeed.
posted by mds35 at 7:40 AM on December 10, 2007

The first is a wedding gift. I hang around wedding sites (it's a sickness) and haven't seen it called anything else.

The second is a push present, how incredibly vulgar.
posted by sondrialiac at 12:30 PM on December 10, 2007

This push present thing - I don't know.

It's the sort of thing I keep reading about, and everyone is up in arms, and the reaction is always similar to sondrialiac's. "How vile!" "What bitches!" etc. And these alleged women are supposedly demanding multi-carat diamond rings, etc.

I think it's a myth. As a 31-year old mother with dozens of friends in their prime child-bearing years, I have not seen anything in real life that mirrors what I read on blogs or in the NYTimes. Many of my friends got gifts, many did not. None were extravangant. My husband gave me a simple necklace with my new son's birthstone - I wasn't expecting it, and I certainly didn't demand it.

My dad gave my mom a gift when I was born. I don't think it's new thing, and the misogyny that accompanies most of the recent media coverage makes me a little uncomfortable.

Sorry for the book, this just came up recently at work and I finally have a chance to put my feelings about it in writing!
posted by peep at 1:41 PM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Goodness! peep, I am so sorry you misunderstood me. I don't think the idea of giving your beloved baby mama a present is EVER uncalled for.

I merely find the name, itself, to be vulgar; especially so considering the poignant and life-changing nature of childbirth.

Showing appreciation for the ones you love is never vulgar, in and of itself.
posted by sondrialiac at 4:23 PM on December 10, 2007

And I agree with you about the barely veiled misogyny of the whole thing--as though pregnant women everywhere are threatening their men, one hand on belly and the other on a bullwhip, or perhaps spending whatever precious post-partum energy they have left to give the father a Heimlich until he passes out or coughs up a diamond of sufficient carat.
posted by sondrialiac at 4:26 PM on December 10, 2007