Comments on: support our troops with extreme noise terror

Question: support our troops with extreme noise terror

Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:29:06 -0800

I need to find the LOUDEST, most ABRASIVE music EVER MADE. Please advise, in as EXTREEEEME a manner as possible.

One of my friends is studying at the US Air Force Academy, and he is looking for an effective (and moderately creative/amusing) way to wake up the new cadets in the morning.

I have compiled a small collection of loud, unpleasant music for him. I have grindcore (Anal Cunt, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Nasum), speedcore/terrorcore/extratone/glitchcore (Mister Joker, Gabba Front Berlin), and a bit of hardcore punk (Big Black). I'd like to find stuff that's even more ridiculous, if that's possible. Stuff that any normal person wouldn't qualify as music.

Extra points if you can recommend particular songs/tracks in addition to just musicians.

(PS I've heard good things about Japanese hardcore, so any recommendations on that front are quite welcome.)

By: sanko

sanko — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:31:02 -0800

Lightning Bolt

By: zennoshinjou

zennoshinjou — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:31:58 -0800

For Japanese noise, I suggest Merzbow.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:33:35 -0800

Yoko Ono

By: 2bucksplus

2bucksplus — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:33:38 -0800

Lightning Bolts "Wonderful Rainbow" is probably the most abrasive noise that is still music:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Fw8yPonk77Y

By: beaucoupkevin

beaucoupkevin — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:33:59 -0800

Seconding Merzbow. That man is depraved.

By: 2bucksplus

2bucksplus — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:34:10 -0800

Damn it, great minds and all that sanko.

By: brautigan

brautigan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:35:11 -0800

Seconding Merzbow.

Raising you Whitehouse.

Enjoy.

By: mrbugsentry

mrbugsentry — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:38:15 -0800

Big Black

By: smackfu

smackfu — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:38:28 -0800

I can handle about 10 seconds of most hard trance/dance variants in the morning. Anything that has really loud, fast, abrasive beats.

By: dersins

dersins — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:38:49 -0800

Some of this german stuff. Especially this, though.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:39:32 -0800

I've never heard it myself, but there's always Metal Machine Music by Lou Reed.

Maybe some Glenn Branca? His early works are basically symphonies for an army of electric guitars, plus percussion. In the third movement of his first symphony, percussion consists of hitting trash cans with 2x4s. Each movement of his second symphony starts off with a section by Z'ev, who basically bangs a bunch of metal plates together. Branca was basically an incubator for Sonic Youth, so you may want to investigate some of their louder stuff as well.

Songs to Fan the Flames of Discontent by Refused kind of combines grindcore with hardcore punk, but you'd probably want to start it at track 5. The Shape of Punk to Come is probably an easier album to find, but it's just not as pure in its thrashin as their earlier stuff. "New Noise" off that album is a very easy video to find on YouTube if you need some idea of their sound though.

I'd also say My Bloody Valentine, but that's almost too dreamy--it might just put you back to sleep.

By: phil

phil — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:39:35 -0800

if big black is on the list you might want to check out rapeman.

as both bands fall into noise core the wikipedia article on the genera may be helpful.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:40:13 -0800

The "dance music" played in the middle of MP David Amess's anti-Cake segment on "Brass Eye".

By: brautigan

brautigan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:40:14 -0800

..and their offshoot Sutcliffe Jugend.

By: doppleradar

doppleradar — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:40:31 -0800

Alec Empire - "When You've Reached Your Peak, It's Time To Die!"

Guaranteed to give an anxiety attack

By: polyhedron

polyhedron — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:42:27 -0800

Atari Teenage Riot is pretty loud, abrasive, and obnoxious. Merzbow is probably the way to go but it can't hurt to mix it up a little bit every now and then.

By: brautigan

brautigan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:43:02 -0800

Better Whitehouse link.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:43:28 -0800

If you're willing to go off the "-core" route, you could try Aqua's "Happy Boys and Girls" off of their Aquarium album. Ridiculous enough at normal volume, played loudly it is abrasive, obnoxious, and has that extra demeaning edge when played for macho, testosterone-fuelled men and women. I've never been as close to death as when I've used it to wake up friends.

By: box

box — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:44:33 -0800

How about some more genres? kid606 makes abrasive electronic music (as do plenty of other people, but it's not my strong suit). Peter Brotzmann plays an abrasive saxophone (try Machine Gun or Alarm). Ooh, or turntablist practice tapes, especially the weirder stuff (e.g., Mr. Dibbs, Eddie Def, D-Styles, etc.)

(And, if you want things that most people wouldn't consider music, why not pick up a sound effects record or something?)

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:48:37 -0800

Diamanda Galas - The Litanies of Satan

By: burnmp3s

burnmp3s — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:49:38 -0800

Nthing Lightning Bolt. I also suggest Masonna and AIDS Wolf.

By: user92371

user92371 — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:49:41 -0800

Take some of this and mix in the velvety smooth sounds of Mel Torme and you've just bumped it up the psychosis meter a notch or two. I call it "Melcore."

By: corvine

corvine — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:49:48 -0800

I wouldn't call Refused anything like noisy enough, but then they're one of my favourite bands. I even find Atari Teenage Riot pretty listenable generally, but their Live At Brixton Academy CD is definitely what you're looking for. I can't cope with that.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:51:27 -0800

Dethklok!

By: ubersturm

ubersturm — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:51:53 -0800

Definitely Merzbow & Whitehouse. Masonna and KK Null - also Japanese noise. Khanate is slooooow and painful. Con-Dom, Sutcliffe Jügend. (N.b.: while power electronics groups like these certainly qualify, many of them are offensive - use of Nazi symbolism, actual racism, etc.) Some American groups like the Sightings, Wolf Eyes, early Prurient, Panicsville. Maybe the Yellow Swans. (All of these are way more extreme than Lightning Bolt, though I love Lightning Bolt - a lot of them are on Load Records, and many are from Providence.)

Really, for most of these bands, pretty much any track will have the effect you want.

By: SansPoint

SansPoint — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:59:33 -0800

Seconding "Metal Machine Music". The last part is insane!

By: nitsuj

nitsuj — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:59:38 -0800

Several tracks from Aphex Twin fit the bill.

By: oh pollo!

oh pollo! — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:00:14 -0800

Swans - Raping a Slave or Time is Money (Bitch), but yeah this thread was pretty much over at Metal Machine Music.

By: maudlin

maudlin — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:00:56 -0800

Yes, Lou Reed got it.

Metal Machine Music review by Lester Bangs. More from Wikipedia, Amazon.

AND -- YouTube, YouTube, YouTube remix.

By: FritoKAL

FritoKAL — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:00:58 -0800

Mix it up - go with hardcore thrash one day, and switch it to Neil Diamond cranked up to eleven or something extra-syrupy from a Disney movie the next.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:02:01 -0800

Metal Machine Music

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:05:37 -0800

Shitmat

By: jdfan

jdfan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:06:36 -0800

No Neubaten? Drawings of Patient O.T. is pretty good.

By: bedhead

bedhead — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:07:05 -0800

Seconding Big Black and the less accessible Swans stuff. And how about a little Throbbing Gristle and Einsturzende Neubauten? It hurts.

By: bedhead

bedhead — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:07:34 -0800

whoops, should've previewed. but yeah, neubaten!

By: dydecker

dydecker — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:07:52 -0800

Khanate

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:08:29 -0800

Laurence Welk.

I'm serious. Cadets listen to stuff that would make fornicating cats sound mellifluous. This at least would be different.

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:11:36 -0800

Oh, and Thai traditional music might be worth investigating as well. I had a very interesting dinner at a khantoke restaruant in Chiang Mai and the musical accompaniment would have more than likely fit your requirements.

By: mkb

mkb — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:13:14 -0800

Coil - Moon's Milk (in Four Phases) CD ALBUM (Eskaton 2002)

By: maudlin

maudlin — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:13:18 -0800

A recent Reed interview on MMM, including YouTube video of a new live performance of the piece by Zeitkratzer.

(Yes, I'm a little obsessed.)

By: cobra libre

cobra libre — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:15:40 -0800

Some great answers already. I think the thread could have stopped at Yoko Ono. Or the Swans. I can't top them, but...

Japanese hardcore: Jellyroll Rockheads, Exclaim, The Futures, Gauze. (And check out Sound Pollution Records)

New Zealand noise: Dead C, Gate, probably anything on Corpus Hermeticum Records

That neo-metal stuff all the kids are listening to these days: Sun O))), Boris, etc.

And so on: Skullflower, Unsane, The Locust, The Flying Luttenbachers, Harry Pussy, Severed Head of State

All this bolding of band names makes me feel like I'm writing for Maximum Rock n' Roll. Another dream come true.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:16:06 -0800

Oh, and Thai traditional music might be worth investigating as well.

Oh, yes. Gamelan. Probably quite unnerving played at extreme volume.

By: Elmore

Elmore — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:19:56 -0800

Early Butthole Surfers, particularly Something and The Shah Sleeps in Lee Harvey's Grave off Brown Reason for Living.

Most of the Birthday Party's Junkyard album. Release the Bats, Big Jesus Trashcan, She's Hit. Awesome.

By: i_am_a_Jedi

i_am_a_Jedi — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:21:46 -0800

Death Metal + Screeching Parrot = Hatebeak

By: dead_

dead_ — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:21:54 -0800

Grindcore. The genre.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:24:59 -0800

Yeah, I would switch it up and play Dillinger Escape Plan one day and Perry Como the next. Also consider playing polkas and Yoko Ono.

Wait, scratch that. I have the answer, the only thing you need, the thing GUARANTEED to make people flee the area screaming and trying to staunch the bleeding from their ears:

The Shaggs

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:26:06 -0800

Lambsbread - Water Damage and Stereo Mars

Skullflower - Xaman

Swans - Raping a Slave EP

Sun City Girls - Valentines from Matahari - a truly "out" set from SCG; sounds like Greg Ginn is sitting in on some boombox recordings

Nthing Big Black, especially the track "Ergot."

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:27:07 -0800

John Zorn's Kristallnacht.

By: breaks the guidelines?

breaks the guidelines? — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:27:56 -0800

Dälek

By: cobra libre

cobra libre — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:30:19 -0800

I heartily second nitsuj's recommendation of Aphex Twin. That music, or what I've heard of it, probably won't wake anyone up, but it will destroy their nerves. I used to control the stereo when I worked at the music department of a local book store, and after putting on Selected Ambient Works, Vol. 2, people would be twitching and scowling within minutes. Sometimes after half an hour, the atmosphere would be sufficiently poisoned that arguments would break out. I never played the record much longer than that.

I was surprised to find that customers also could not deal with the Pogues, of all music. Unlike Aphex Twin, however, customers could always identify the irritant and would always ask me to turn it off.

By: jeffamaphone

jeffamaphone — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:31:53 -0800

Agnostic Front is pretty un-fucking-listenable.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:32:08 -0800

Mescalium United - We Have Arrived (Aphex Twin Remix)
Laibach - Tanz Mit Laibach

Some friends of mine are in noise bands, some of which are pretty well known in the field. Wolf Eyes stands out.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:33:40 -0800

(oh, and wolf eyes makes lightning bolt look like elevator music)

By: utsutsu

utsutsu — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:35:20 -0800

Venetian Snares. Not all of his work quite fits the bill, but some of it definitely does. Also, from my home town! :)

By: beerbajay

beerbajay — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:35:57 -0800

Ignore anybody recommending noise rock (Lightning Bolt, AIDS Wolf, etc) as these are not really that abrasive (although they will definitely be more abrasive than many air force people will be familiar with).

Merzbow (try Tauromachine) and Whitehouse, as mentioned before, are good.

Also try: Hair Police (screechy and horrible), Wolf Eyes, and John Wiese (computorz noize).

By: antitext

antitext — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:42:33 -0800

ventolin by aphex twin

By: Koko

Koko — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:43:46 -0800

Nthing Diamanda Galas and Metal Machine Music.

Also I find Pere Ubu to be particularly grating, as well as Boredoms and GG Allin.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:45:58 -0800

beerbajay: I work with two guys from hair police, they would be honored by that description.

On further reflection I think you go with a hair police or wolf eyes track with two different bubblegum dance tracks over it (Aqua and the Venga Boys would do nicely). Drop one of track's speed down just a bit (so none of the pitches between the two tracks work), to ensure maximum dissonance. You'll get some horrible screechy noise with two out of sync and out of key tracks over it... and those cadets will probably want to kill themselves.

By: box

box — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:46:40 -0800

Yeah, you can't please (or displease, I guess, in this case) everybody.

The mention of gamelan music got me thinking--there might be a place for native drumming in the rotation. Say, Japanese kodo drumming, or Caribbean steel-drum records, or Indian tabla playing.

And the mention of Lawrence Welk, Perry Como, etc. also got me thinking: How about J-pop, Radio Disney, Kidz Bop, etc.? The one cadet who loves Merzbow and Metal Machine Music will probably hate Hannah Montana.

This is fun, and not just because a lot of the stuff that people are mentioning is part of my regular listening. One more suggestion: screw music.

By: rabbitsnake

rabbitsnake — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:47:16 -0800

Hrvatski's "Vatstep DSP" from Swarm and Dither.

By: ellenaim

ellenaim — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:57:14 -0800

antitext already said it, but I'll second Ventolin by Aphex Twin. From personal experience, not fun to wake up to.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:58:11 -0800

Assumed that Mike Patton's Adult Themes for Voices would be here already.

By: lilacorlavender

lilacorlavender — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:02:59 -0800

I am going to go in an opposition direction. My grandmother told me the story of how her father used to wake her and her siblings in the morning. He would blast things like the 1812 overture and other pieces that had a lot of trumpets. She hated it because it would immediately make her jump out of bed and onto the cold floor. So think trumpets, lots of trumpets.

By: mynameisluka

mynameisluka — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:10:33 -0800

I'm gonna go on a totally different tangent and suggest the eternal, the deathless, the ear-piercingly annoying "Cold Lampin' With Flavor" off of Public Enemy's It Takes A Nation... album. That would get me right out of bed.

By: quadog

quadog — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:17:52 -0800

The Michael Caine character in Children of Men uses some type of "music" as an warning alarm. It's probably the most god-awful thing I've ever heard and would definitely fit your bill. Not sure if it's a track you could find though . . .

By: nanojath

nanojath — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:20:15 -0800

Someone mentioned John Zorn, I'd also recommend sampling tracks from John Zorn and Naked City (the Naked City LP would seem to fit the bill).

Killdozer for more of a, erm, pop idiom.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:21:29 -0800

25 Suaves (early recordings), Ass Baboons of Venus, Nautical, Wolf Eyes, Prehensile Monkeytail Skink, Couch (the Bulb records one, not the stupid trip-hop one), Chicken Mechanic, Slovak, Paul Velat's Stop/Eject albums, 10VT, anything else from Stop/Eject, Muslimgauze, Birdseed, Nurse With Wound, Whitehouse, anything from American Tapes, Boris's Feedbacker, Boredoms' Cassette Recordings (Surfing Jah), anything from the MishMashMush mp3 fest I linked to a while ago, Forcefield, Black Dice's early albums, pretty much anything from Load records.

I'd add Rated X by Miles Davis, and if you want me to look, I can come up with some Archie Shepp or Brotzman or other skronk jazz.

That's a good start. I'll check around for more unlistenables once I get home. Contacting Pete Larson from Bulb Records (even though it's not a noise label, he knows a lot of noise dudes) would be fruitful. As would searching for the All Noize Dudes Summertime Pickle Bar board and asking there.

By: tapeguy

tapeguy — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:22:33 -0800

I'd try a bootleg of any of the shows on Wikipedia's list of loudest bands in the world.

By: plinth

plinth — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:30:29 -0800

There's Something Dead in Here or Little Pieces of Seaweed - Steve Vai

By: Cricket

Cricket — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:31:54 -0800

Is it just me, or is any group or song whose name/title refers to rape a bad idea for the Air Force Academy?

I'd go with loud classical music, personally. Most of them will run screaming. Better yet if you get one or two songs they can really learn to hate instead of a huge mix. At Caltech, they (used to?) play the Ride of the Valkyries early in the mornings during finals--and only during finals, as anyone playing it at any other time got thrown in a shower.

I still cringe when I hear it, over a decade later.

By: iviken

iviken — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:42:59 -0800

Solid Gold Chartbusters: "I Wanna 1-2-1 With You. Featuring the original Nokia ringtone.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:43:52 -0800

Galas is good. How about something from the Plague Mass?

I find MMM just kind of dull. There's a lot more grating out there.

Lightning Bolt really doesn't fit the bill either. I mean, Wonderful Rainbow is quite melodic at points. It's beautiful music, really.

I'd go with Wolf Eyes, personally. I find most of Slicer just unlistenable.

By: idiotfactory

idiotfactory — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:53:12 -0800

Happy Tree Friends will give them cute nightmares. I'm pretty sure that's the song that will play in my head when I *snap* and lose all sanity.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:54:01 -0800

I humbly submit this entry.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:05:48 -0800

Diamanda Galas - Vena Cava. After all, how many CDs have "Play At Maximum Volume Only" printed right on the disc?

By: mike_bling

mike_bling — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:09:46 -0800

Hair Police managed to be too abrasive for a crowd at a Sonic Youth show. I was impressed.

Muslimgauze has some very noisy stuff that crosses with middle-eastern type stuff - perhaps it would piss off military type people, or at least give them nightmares. I can't comprehend the worldview of someone who would sign up to be in a military academy right now, so I couldn't say.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:10:51 -0800

Anything by Spiritualized should send the troops into a homicidal frenzy.

Or...

Zappa - Uncle Meat

By: deadmessenger

deadmessenger — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:18:41 -0800

Whatever the hell House was playing on last week's episode. Good grief that could have taken paint off the walls.

By: modernpoverty

modernpoverty — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:18:58 -0800

One of the original free jazz recordings and a personal favorite on the noisy tip is Machine Gun by the Peter Brotzmann Octet.

Recordings by Oval and the first record by Suicide have been extremely useful in clearing out a party that overstayed its welcome.

Seconding Diamanda Galas. I love noise, but that woman's voice drives me absolutely batty.

And of course there is always Stock, Hausen, and Walkman. Allow me to recommend Organ Transplants V. 2.

By: devilsbrigade

devilsbrigade — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:34:14 -0800

Wumpscut has some atrociously bad and abrasive mixes. The kind of screeching you think "dear god, how did they even MAKE this," and then you realize the only explanation is that they, themselves, have never listened to it. Not once.

By: laughinglikemad

laughinglikemad — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:43:45 -0800

Not just grindcore: Pitbull Grind Core.

If it sounds like a Michael Vick victim having a grand mal seizure into a microphone, that's because it is just that.

See also: Hatebeak. Parrot as lead vocalist.

And then play some Frank Crumit's 'No One Has Endurance Like The Man Who Sells Insurance,' followed by 'Yes, We Have No Bananas.' Just to screw with them.

By: malocchio

malocchio — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:44:35 -0800

Looks like there has been no mention of Boyd Rice/NON yet. "Easy Listening for Iron Youth" would be a good place to start.

By: Scoo

Scoo — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:53:29 -0800

Lamb of God will have you covered in the Cookie Monster Being Burned Alive vocals department.

Crank Sturgeon is a Fucking Lunatic who makes totally horrible noise art. He was also in my wedding.

By: RoseovSharon

RoseovSharon — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:03:16 -0800

Anything off the Happy Flowers album, 'My Skin Covers My Body'.

"The Sun That Burns" and "Jenny Tried To Kiss Me At Recess" are particularly ~~poignant~~ painful.

By: saladin

saladin — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:08:26 -0800

Some good suggestions so far... I'll chime in with a couple more:

"Snakes & Ladders" by The Assdroids
"Raped by Elephants" by Torsofuck
"Locking Jaws" by Caninus
"Burn to an Absolute Crisp" by Fuck... I'm Dead

By: winna

winna — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:23:52 -0800

I think Aphex Twin is soothing. I'm really surprised that I'm apparently alone in that one.

Play some Mahler. His Fifth at top volume would get them up and ready to rassle bears.

If you really want to enrage them, play Beijing opera. When I have people in my house who claim to like all music, I play some for them. They usually stop making that claim.

By: zoinks

zoinks — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:24:50 -0800

Jandek.

By: idb

idb — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:25:54 -0800

It's got to be Dogs of War by the Exploited, although it might be a bit too musical for your purposes.

By: blaneyphoto

blaneyphoto — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:28:16 -0800

Extreme Noise Terror.

By: modernpoverty

modernpoverty — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:28:43 -0800

Also, John the Postman does a 17+ minute version of Louis Louis that is as out of tune as it is retarded. Highly recommended.

By: hydrophonic

hydrophonic — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:43:54 -0800

Borbetomagus
Mars
Tony Conrad
Anthony Braxton's "Dedicated to Multi-Instrumentalist Leroy Jenkins"
Kevin Drumm - Sheer Hellish Miasma

I like all of the above, but I wouldn't want to wake up to it. Please don't tell these artists, who have my utmost respect, that I recommend using their work to hilariously annoy people.

Costes (very NSFW, audio) gets my vote for the most offensive performer ever. You probably shouldn't even look at his wikipedia entry at work. Playing him for cadets could easily lead to sexual harassment complaints. Bonus: He's French.

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:53:41 -0800

Consider using children's music, like the Wiggles, the Doodlebops, etc.

By: Max Power

Max Power — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:11:23 -0800

Godflesh

Called the heaviest band in the world by Metallica.

Swans is a good call too.

By: Electrius

Electrius — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:12:08 -0800

kwwrr

By: Electrius

Electrius — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:13:57 -0800

(especially the album ROLL BABY O'CLOCK, released under the name "JUHO + KAIT FUN BAND")

By: afx237vi

afx237vi — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:21:41 -0800

2bucksplus: Lightning Bolts "Wonderful Rainbow" is probably the most abrasive noise that is still music:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Fw8yPonk77Y

Eh? I thought that was pretty damn nice, actually! Aphex Twin and Spiritualized (both mentioned above) are hardly what I'd call "extreme noise terror" either.

My suggestion would be the fuckin' Crazy Frog. He has a whole album of material for you to choose from.

By: afx237vi

afx237vi — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:25:17 -0800

Oh, as well as Crazy Frog, you could try some Cradle of Filth.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:35:28 -0800

Definitely Swans. I recommend the album Public Castration Is a Good Idea.

Curiously, a lot of Swans is quite listenable, particularly Omniscience, White Light from the Mouth of Infinity, Great Annihilator era. But anything from the Filth era will suit your needs well.

I also agree that it'd be easier and eviller to wake them up with a little Debbie Gibson.

By: Madamina

Madamina — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:40:04 -0800

"Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima" by Krysztof Penderecki.

Why not go the other way and open the day with a little "Sound of Music" or "Don't Rain On My Parade"? Showtunes, man, showtunes!

By: subtle_squid

subtle_squid — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:47:42 -0800

Melt Banana's vocalist sounds a bit like fingernails on a chalkboard. They are very abraisive till you get used to them. One of my favorite bands now.

By: 4ster

4ster — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:53:25 -0800

"Thousand," by Moby. It's supposedly the fastest song ever (1015 BPM). It makes my head asplode.

By: tallus

tallus — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:20:59 -0800

Pita on the Mego label is on the far edge of laptop noise music. Some of the tracks have a thing for extremely high pitched synthesized sounds which would contrast nicely with a lot of the bass driven selections coming out here (speaking as someone who's fallen asleep next to a bass bin). Actually a lot of the Mego stuff would not be recognized as music by most people.

There's also a CD of Survival Research Laboratory's live soundtrack on Sub Rosa.

Ash 4.9 Santa Pod ("PLAY LOUD. DO NOT MISTAKE THIS COMPACT DISC FOR A MUSICAL PRODUCT") is a CD of recordings made at the Santa Pod drag racing track. Track 1: Jet Car starts off quietly and innocuously enough, with a slight increase in the volume over the first few minutes before a jet powered car suddenly take off past the microphone. Simply the loudest recording you will ever hear --it made me fall over the first time I played it.

By: lioness

lioness — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:21:01 -0800

Have you considerd waking them with a beautiful, soothing, calming melody? Very subtle and played quietly? Then, after 30 seconds, turn your volume control to a maximum and use one of the previous suggestions?

After doing this a few times, you can completely screw with their heads by changing the length of time after which the loud music appears.

And on the rare occasion, don't change the calm music at all. A persistent torture, as they'll expect to start hearing the noise literally every second.

By: spartacusroosevelt

spartacusroosevelt — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:23:56 -0800

Painkiller's Executioner's Ground
SPK's Information Overload Unit and Leichenschrei
Coil's Time Machines makes some people's teeth hurt

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:29:01 -0800

Morrissey. Nothing but fucking Morrissey.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:34:17 -0800

The Electro Hippies. St Helen's hardest grindcore.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:37:56 -0800

And further to my above, seems like you can download a session that includes the short and not very sweet "Mega Armageddon Death" here.

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:00:20 -0800

Whereas they will get use to all that (quote time, winner gets a bagel) insolent noise, something like Der Holle Rache will really shock them. The Walkürenritt is far over used to be effective.

By: subtle_squid

subtle_squid — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:00:37 -0800

since you want specific tracks I give you Melt Banana's Sick Zip Everywhere. At high volume it would be a pretty horrifying way to wake up. See also any grouping of the tiny, less than 20sec, songs from Speak Squeak Creak. Its probably easiest to find their most recent album in which case I'd use One Drop, One life.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:01:33 -0800

Oh, yeah, couple more:

PJ Harvey's Rid of Me contains dynamic shifts that can freak people out, Peaches is sexy/stoopid, Mindflayer is what it sounds like (in fact, Mindflayer's Take Your Skin Off is about exactly what you want), and the No Wave of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks or The Plasmatics or The Contortions may be atonal enough. Destroy All Monsters too.

By: paulsc

paulsc — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:43:16 -0800

Meade "Lux" Lewis banging out his 1:56 barrelhouse version of "Bugle Call Rag" on a tack piano is what you want.

By: tracert

tracert — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:44:50 -0800

Two albums that come to mind immediately are Converge's Jane Doe and Dillinger Escape Plan's Calculating Infinity. That shit will ruin your day. Also: Dragonforce. Always have Dragonforce.

By: waraw

waraw — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:49:43 -0800

Alternate some Air Supply with the Reverb Motherfuckers' LSD-25.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:58:42 -0800

The Fruity Oaty Bar commercial, looped, full volume...

By: tylermoody

tylermoody — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:50:54 -0800

All you need to do is play one song. loud. EVERY DAY. It doesn't matter if it's their favorite song in the world, everyone learns to hate the sound of the alarm clock.

By: gally99

gally99 — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:09:08 -0800

discordance axis.

By: knowles

knowles — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:12:32 -0800

drumcorps is brutal.

By: spiderskull

spiderskull — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:25:55 -0800

Botch (pretty much anything off We Are the Romans), seconding Dillinger Escape Plan, Finch's latest album (example), some Glassjaw.

There's some technical hardcore-influenced music that can sound unnerving.

By: ROTFL

ROTFL — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:29:02 -0800

"The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks" by Flux of Pink Indians.

A small sample.

Downloadable version.

By: spiderskull

spiderskull — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:33:40 -0800

Huh, no one's mentioned Squarepusher yet -- some of his earlier live recordings are harsh.

By: captaincrouton

captaincrouton — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:03:06 -0800

beijing opera. It's piercing.

By: blaneyphoto

blaneyphoto — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:04:16 -0800

Fudge Tunnel, Nailbomb and Kiss it Goodbye would all be worth considering too - although thier studio recordings all come nowhere near the brutality and volume of thier live performances.

By: galaksit

galaksit — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:04:50 -0800

I think harsh computer noise is maybe the most brutal, unmusical stuff around. Modern Merzbow of course, but I think Mu on V/Vm Test is some of the most ridiculously unpleasant computer-generated noise out there, devoid of reverb or other effects that can make much other computer generated noise music palatable (even most Mego output).

Free downloads here:

Mu

By: andythebean

andythebean — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 22:41:06 -0800

Band: Nekrogoblikon
Genre: Symphonic Folk / Death Metal
Lyrical theme: Goblins

By: methylsalicylate

methylsalicylate — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:03:13 -0800

Discriminate (Against) The Next Fashionsucker You Meet, It's A Raver by Ec8or is pretty noisy.

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:33:12 -0800

I listen to a lot of this stuff for fun. I like music composed entirely of feedback. Einsturzende Neubauten, Atari Teenage Riot and the Happy Flowers rock. But the one thing I switch off *immediately* is the Swallowing Scrap Metal cycle by Controlled Bleeding. I have no idea how it was made but it sounds--and I mean this literally--like someone holding an angle-grinder against the microphone. For ages.

Swallowing Scrap Metal is in several parts, spread across a number of CDs, probably because if it was compiled onto one CD it would be classified as an instrument of war.

By: tr33hggr

tr33hggr — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:36:03 -0800

Also throwing Melt Banana into the mix. And for christ's sake get some Boredoms on there. Seriously.

By: newmoistness

newmoistness — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:48:53 -0800

Flowers of Romance by Public Image Limited isn't as immediately abrasive as some of the stuff already mentioned, but it's likely to be one of the most annoying things a military cadet has ever heard. Lots of grotesquely warped Islamic influence, too.

By: outsider

outsider — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:25:21 -0800

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF-VhrWUUJU

anal cunt

By: speicus

speicus — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:30:10 -0800

Iannis Xenakis - Mycenae Alpha

Aphex Twin wishes he was this hard.

By: SpacemanRed

SpacemanRed — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:32:14 -0800

Thirding John Zorn - particularly anything with Yamatsuka Eye singing.

Another serious suggestion would be children's music - any parent whose been stuck in a car with a child requesting "Again! Again!" on a long journey will know the insanity this can cause...

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 17:47:23 -0800

You could always go old skool.

Bagpipes.

By: mmascolino

mmascolino — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:22:11 -0800

Spoke to a good friend who was an Academy grad and he said the most effective thing ever used on him (and subsequently used by him on cadets) was to go from zero to simple screaming at you that you are late. He said it was awful (and effective).

By: carsonb

carsonb — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:37:08 -0800

I got a promo once from a local band named Enmity that put out an album called Vomit Forth Intestinal Excrement. It is 8 tracks and about 5 minutes (in total) worth of face-melting ?-core that delivers on the title.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:38:20 -0800

Enmity myspace