Sexy ex sabotage
December 2, 2007 10:37 AM Subscribe
How to tolerate his flirtatious ex? (slightly NSFW)
posted by idle to human relations (42 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
So, long story short, but my boyfriend had gone out with her for 3 years and they broke up a few months before he met me (he dumped her because he didn't see things going anywhere). I didn't really know about her for awhile, but slowly the picture became clear.
The "friend" he was occasionally having dinner with was her. It doesn't really bother me he was hanging out with and ex, but it did irk me that he had to hide it. It became clear why as the months went on. She is not over him. Apparently she still wants to have sex with him and still brings it up in their conversations, a la, OMG I still want to have sex with you or do you still want to look at my breasts. She is clearly trying to get him to cheat or try to sabotage our relationship.
I honestly have trouble not being suspicious. I told him that I think it's inappropriate for either of us to be friends with other people who are very open about wanting sex. He said that he wouldn't care if I was friends with a sex-crazed ex and that I was being posessive.
Is this a doomed relationship? Is it even worth it to try to say "hey, I'm not doing this relationship unless you lay down the law with her about being a flirt, give her some space, or don't see her at all."
It's hard for me because I don't want to be controlling, try to change him, and I understand why it might be hard to cut ties with someone you were together with for so long even if they are being awful. He doesn't want to talk about it much or make a decision, but I feel dejected and upset that my relatively new relationship is being messed with before we have time to build trust together.