What can I say to a 3rd world child that doesn't make me sound like a braggart?

November 28, 2007 1:25 PM

Do you sponsor a child? What do you write to them?

I've been sponsoring a child through Children's International for over a year now but I have yet to write a letter to her mostly because I'm not sure what I should write. The guidelines mention to not talk about material goods but considering most of my hobbies (and my job) are rather material oriented, I'm not sure what I can say that's not just "hi. how are you? your sponsor, stynxno".

Does anyone have any advice? If it helps, the girl is in high school and her family income is less than I sometimes spend on a friday night out.

posted by Stynxno to writing & language (12 comments total)

She might just enjoy the novelty of receiving mail. I actually still do love getting letters, real letters.

You could ask her questions about herself and what she likes to do.

Maybe there's a particular photo or art piece that you especially enjoy? You could print it out and send it to her, with a short note explaining why you like it? (Not offering instruction, but sharing an inspiration...)
posted by KAS at 1:31 PM on November 28, 2007

Why don't you ask her more about herself? For example you could ask about her friends, what she likes studying in school and what her family is like.

You could also talk about you family, what kind of a place you live in (environment, weather, trees and plants). Also, it might not be a bad idea to include something colorful like a postcard or pictures.
posted by Alison at 1:32 PM on November 28, 2007

My girlfriend in high school sponsored a child (well, her family sponsored the child). His name was Shankar Soren. His picture was on her refrigerator. Nice kid.

Their letters were something along the lines of hobbies, interests, spiritual growth stories, well wishes, etc.

Sarah L, if you're reading this, whattup girl!
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 1:33 PM on November 28, 2007

Tell her about your family, funny stories about your parents or siblings, your friends, what you liked to do when you were growing up, what you liked to do at school. Tell her about the snow in Colorado, or the beach in Florida, or the Adirondacks, and adventures you had their when you were her age. Or now.

Then ask her about her family, friends, school, etc.
posted by gaspode at 1:38 PM on November 28, 2007

Send photos of you and your family! It's always good to put names to faces.
posted by sarahsynonymous at 2:17 PM on November 28, 2007

What everybody else said. I also send those packs of colourful used stamps from around the world from time to time. I think they're varied enough to spark a kid's imagination without coming across all "look how great we have it here!" - many of the stamps come from developing countries anyway, and feature snippets of daily life, wildlife, national celebrations & so on.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:46 PM on November 28, 2007

I think that I might send postcards. You will have less space to write and they'll be something colorful and interesting to keep.
posted by thebrokenmuse at 3:16 PM on November 28, 2007

1. start with a greeting to the whole family, using their names. tell them you hope they're all healthy & happy, and that you're excited to get to know them. ask how they are and inquire after any details about them you know.

2. tell them about yourself- your family, your job, your hobbies, your pets, the kind of food you like, etc.

3. include some postcards of your city, explaining what they are, and whether those landmarks are near to your house. maybe some postcards could show seasons or animals that don't exist in your sponsored kid's country-- snow? fall leaves? moose? justin timberlake?

4. talk about cultural events coming up for you- halloween, christmas, birthday. keep it non-religious. ("in a month, we will celebrate christmas, and my whole family will go to my aunt's house to sing songs and eat a turkey! we each hang a stocking, and put in small treats in them for each other to find in the morning. it's so nice to see all my family together at once- i have 12 cousins!")

5. send photos of yourself, your family, your pets. make sure the photos are modest. for example, my sponsored child is muslim, so i make sure my arms, legs, and midriff are covered in the photos i send. to mentally compensate for this aesthetic, which crushes my trashy western-bred soul, i like to subtly mention suffragette stuff, like the fact that i'm excited to vote on election day, too.

6. i like to assemble all this stuff into little booklets. i'll tape down the postcards and photos on coloured paper, and caption them, amidst the content of the letter. then i hole-punch one edge and tie it all together with ribbon.

7. as for gifts, i think crayons, notepads, sparkly stickers, and finger puppets are the best. i sent my girl some hair clips & bracelets, but she's never wearing them in the photos which leads me to believe that she may not actually wear them at all (because what better time to wear them?) so now i send educational/imaginative stuff instead.

8. i try to remember that her parents & siblings probably feel weird that their little girl gets all this attention from the big rich foreigner, so i go out of my way to respectfully address each member of the family in my hello & goodbye paragraphs, and i send extra stickers for her to share with her brothers.
posted by twistofrhyme at 5:02 PM on November 28, 2007 [4 favorites]

oh oops, sorry- i totally missed the part about the girl being in high school. i think there are ways to spin most jobs so they don't sound so comsumerist.

"i sell designer sunglasses in an expensive boutique" = i work in a shop, and i like meeting all the interesting people who come in!

"i model giant orange cowboy hat prototypes in a high-end supermarket chain" = my job is to greet people who come into the store i work at, and help them find what they need!

using words like "helping" and "meeting" and "teaching" are good ways to spin a consumerist job into a servicey job. just emphasize the intrerpesonal aspect of all stories, including ones about your social life:

"i love to go out and get hammered" = "my favourite thing to do is spend time with my friends. my best friends are Jerry, who has curly hair and is very funny, and George, who is short and a bit of a worrywart. we have so much fun together!"
posted by twistofrhyme at 5:13 PM on November 28, 2007

all good suggestions. for little gifts you can enclose, i think stickers are generally loved by children all over the world--they can mark their own stuff with them or share them with friends. it might also be neat to send a map with your city and her town/city/area marked on it.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:41 PM on November 28, 2007

I've found that funny stories from one's life generally go over well the world over. I'm sure you've got a few of these, everyone I know does and you're a witty guy, so I'm sure you've got more than a few. Obviously the less culturally specific ones are better. Spilling Sunkist on Ad Rock on the Staten Island ferry, not good. The dog you had as a child who kept stealing your clothes and burying them in the yard, better.
posted by Kattullus at 9:32 PM on November 28, 2007

I sponsored a child of the same age range in the DR through the same program. Actually, she graduated from the program, and I'm supposed to pick a new child now I think (something I find awkward to do). I used their email feature to send her notes and always got handwritten letters in response with her drawings and doodles on them. I wish I had thought to include stickers and handwritten some letters. If I enjoyed drawing I would have sent her some sketches or drawings too. She seemed to enjoy talking about music - in fact a series of exchanges we had involved us sharing lyrics from favorite songs. I find it kind of hard to talk about myself so I shared a little bit about my family, my parents and what my siblings were up to. We also talked about random things like hair - she got pink higlights which I thought were very cool.

I think my first letter was the lamest because I had no idea what to write, but the rest were better because I had her questions to respond to and to follow-up on. I really think that if you just get that first one out, even if it's just three or four sentences, you'll find it easier to keep in touch. I kept my letters short because their guidelines suggested that it cut down on their translation costs to do so, but if you're writing in your child's native language, maybe that won't be an issue for you.
posted by PY at 1:34 AM on November 29, 2007