Comments on: How do I make visitors laugh at the expense of my kitty?

Question: How do I make visitors laugh at the expense of my kitty?

Alpenglow — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 08:59:45 -0800

I need a funny saying for a sign that will go in a window. It will hang over my fat cat, who hardly moves. I know you guys can come up with something great.

I have a fat white cat. He sits on a large footrest that is in front of a window all day. The window is right next to the front door. I'd like to put up a sign over the cat that visitors can see. Something funny. They always notice the cat, and I'd like to make them laugh. The cat is very happy. He's just old, lazy and arthritic. He's on meds, and is spoiled rotten, and is perfectly content gazing out the window all day, taking breaks only to eat and poop. Help me exploit this. Thanks!!

By: omnipotentq

omnipotentq — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:01:49 -0800

Abandon all hope ye who enter here?

By: jet_silver

jet_silver — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:03:25 -0800

Actual cat, not a cheap imitation.

By: Clyde Mnestra

Clyde Mnestra — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:06:09 -0800

R.I.P. Toodles (1993-2006).

[Then watch them jump if he blinks.]

By: tiny crocodile

tiny crocodile — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:07:06 -0800

Window cat is watching you?

By: poppo

poppo — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:09:13 -0800

DO NOT FEED

By: 0bvious

0bvious — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:09:35 -0800

Cat for sale, apply within

By: gnomeloaf

gnomeloaf — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:10:22 -0800

Since you mentioned a footstool...would this work?

By: SpiffyRob

SpiffyRob — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:10:23 -0800

Here be Dragons!

By: fish tick

fish tick — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:14:04 -0800

Southern 18-toed Sloth.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:14:11 -0800

Ask about our taxidermy class.
Cat not for sale.
Free cat with every cat purchase.
Beware of Cat.

By: ulotrichous

ulotrichous — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:15:29 -0800

If this was your cat, you'd be home by now!

Beware of Fat Cat who Doesn't Move Very Often and is Actually Pretty Nice

oh hai i haz gravitee well

Please laugh at the cat.

Or, how about just a sign with the cat's name and a big arrow? I always like to know the names of funny neighborhood cats, and a sign that acknowledges that the cat never moves would make me laugh.

By: fish tick

fish tick — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:16:32 -0800

CAFFEINE REQUIRED

By: fish tick

fish tick — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:17:04 -0800

BEWARE OF SLOTH

By: fish tick

fish tick — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:17:45 -0800

INDOLENCE IS AN ART

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:21:29 -0800

Use all of these! Change the sign every week.

By: ncc1701d

ncc1701d — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:23:09 -0800

i haz snipr rifl stealin urz killz

By: Daniel Striped Tiger

Daniel Striped Tiger — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:23:42 -0800

Alpenglow's taxidermy school: inquire within.

On preview, what blue_beatle said.

By: jamjam

jamjam — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:23:55 -0800

Don't worry about (PhatChat), he'll start moving around as soon as his legs are able to reach the ground again.

By: methylsalicylate

methylsalicylate — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:25:03 -0800

Land Seal

By: ncc1701d

ncc1701d — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:25:09 -0800

NEW! Catblinds for sale, 2 for a dollar!

By: DarlingBri

DarlingBri — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:25:23 -0800

I'm in ur house, eatin ur dinnerz.

By: mumkin

mumkin — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:25:26 -0800

ENTERTAIN ME. PEON.

may we see a photo of this cat?

By: pineapple

pineapple — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:26:36 -0800

I hung a little art plaque over my cat's water fountain for inspiration (hers, not mine); it's a Native American proverb that reads "After dark, all cats are leopards." She's old and naps a lot and I like to imagine that when she's sleeping, she's having wild kitty dreams where she's a master hunter and the Queen of All She Surveys.

(not as funny as some of these others though)

By: iconomy

iconomy — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:27:05 -0800

Footrest cat is watching you perambulate.

By: Ms. Saint

Ms. Saint — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:27:55 -0800

Fat Cat Demands Sacrifice For Entry.

(Yeah, I want to see a photo too..)

By: found missing

found missing — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:28:17 -0800

Available for childrens parties

By: johnvaljohn

johnvaljohn — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:29:05 -0800

Ceci n'est pas un chat

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:30:01 -0800

ce n'est pas un chat.

Composition with cat and throne.

Smile if you think I'm fat.

I'm with stupid --->

lolcat for hire

My other perch is a...wait, there is no other perch.

Schroedinger's cat is...I ated him.

[name], esq.

Hi, I'm [name]. I like short walks to the bowl and candlelit dinners of tuna and giblets. I am a 23", 19 lb, white fatty full of love for you. Bring a footrest and let's nap!

Pay toll: 1 catnip sprig or $1 to servant.

By: moift

moift — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:30:20 -0800

Put up a recursive picture of the cat sitting where he always does with a picture of himself sitting where he always does with a picture etc etc. Maybe label it NOT LOST.

By: Sassyfras

Sassyfras — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:30:55 -0800

"His amiable amber eyes
Are very friendly, very wise;
Like Buddha, grave and fat,
He sits, regardless of applause,
And thinking, as he kneads his paws,
What fun to be a cat!" --Christopher Morley

"A cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world." - Irish Legend

There are people who reshape the world by force or argument but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience." --Alan and Ivy Dodd

By: chrismear

chrismear — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:31:48 -0800

"Meechee waakki wwaa nee ssa looo HANS SOLO mi poekee me ffa sso chha ne lee."

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:32:22 -0800

omg. Seconding "If this was your cat, you'd be home by now!"

By: Jakey

Jakey — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:45:23 -0800

Will ignore and disdain you for food

By: cashman

cashman — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:45:38 -0800

KILLER ATTACK CAT

Put blinking red christmas lights around the sign.

By: Alpenglow

Alpenglow — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:47:09 -0800

Here are cat photos.
These were all taken before I created his window-view seat. I'll post another after I put the sign up so you can see the results of all your creativity. You guys rock!

By: mumkin

mumkin — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:48:30 -0800

lolcat for hire

Actually, I think a simple LOL would suffice. Less is more.

By: 1f2frfbf

1f2frfbf — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:51:02 -0800

Sleep is where I'm a Viking.

By: beccaj

beccaj — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:01:31 -0800

ooooh- extra cute kitty! (not for sign-- just commenting on the flickr photos!)

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:04:10 -0800

Neighborhood Watch
This Cat Reports All Suspicious Activity to the Police

By: peep

peep — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:04:28 -0800

CAUTION: CAT WORKING

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:12:43 -0800

Schrödinger Needed
Apply Within

By: nursegracer

nursegracer — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:13:12 -0800

Guard cat on duty.

By: stevis23

stevis23 — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:17:01 -0800

Stop collapsing my wave function!

By: rtha

rtha — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:20:31 -0800

Schroedinger's cat is...I ated him.

Love this one. Also, cute cat!

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:23:02 -0800

He is a very handsome beast. May I suggest "See the miniature Yeti!"

By: WCityMike

WCityMike — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:30:30 -0800

Since he's all white, and given the time of year, perhaps "I am not a snowdrift."

By: thebrokedown

thebrokedown — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:38:46 -0800

Wow, he looks smart enough to make his own sign. Damn the lack of opposable thumbs!

By: rhizome

rhizome — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:46:26 -0800

LAZY CAT IS LAZY

By: agregoli

agregoli — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:49:41 -0800

He's adorable! What's his name?

I would second the sign with his name and an arrow. Direct and to the point. And funny cause it assumes the cat is always there, which he is.

Love it!

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:56:11 -0800

I used to be two cats.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:03:38 -0800

Sleep is where I'm a ~~Viking~~ Lion.

By: Soliloquy

Soliloquy — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:05:49 -0800

FEED ME

By: casarkos

casarkos — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:38:13 -0800

o hai
mai name iz

By: annaramma

annaramma — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:40:14 -0800

Whatever you decide, I recommend submitting it here. Your feline appears to be highly snorglable.

By: contraption

contraption — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:44:54 -0800

LOOK AT THIS CAT

By: thinkingwoman

thinkingwoman — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:54:03 -0800

will sleep for food.

By: user92371

user92371 — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:07:40 -0800

THE NEW '08 CATS ARE IN!!!!

CAT LASER VISION: CHARGING.

THE AMAZING ALL-SINGING ALL-DANCING CAT-BASED THEATRICAL EXTRAVAGANZA: THREE SHOWS DAILY

TROUBLECAT CONSIDERS OPTIONS

By: worker_bee

worker_bee — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:14:57 -0800

Having seen the pictures, my effort is:

"They won't let me out of the house because if it snows they'll never find me again."

By: Tbola

Tbola — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:16:24 -0800

Please Ask About Our Motivational Seminars!

By: Tbola

Tbola — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:17:11 -0800

life is what happens when you're planning your next nap.

By: Tbola

Tbola — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:18:48 -0800

some1 pleese to change channel?
kthnxbi.

By: Tbola

Tbola — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:23:21 -0800

(stolen from a t-shirt...)

I'M GREAT IN BED
I can sleep for days

(sorry, i'll stop now.)

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:39:39 -0800

Schroedinger's cat is...I ated him.
...or maybe I didn't.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:14:27 -0800

W/M/15 ISO companion for long sits on the couch and affection. Ability to open the cans a plus.

By: tiny crocodile

tiny crocodile — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:46:08 -0800

Window cat is watching you knock on my door.

I think veeery slowly

By: xueexueg

xueexueg — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:49:50 -0800

WILL ~~WORK~~ FOR LASAGNA

and variations.

By: jvilter

jvilter — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 14:09:23 -0800

Do not taunt happy fun cat.

By: nax

nax — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 14:17:45 -0800

Y'all got you a Gumbie Cat.

Use a different line from the poem every day (at least of the refrain- she sits and sits and sits and sits). The literary passers-by will eventually get it.

By: greenskpr

greenskpr — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 15:12:33 -0800

Jabba the Hutt lines? "Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will all suffer for this outrage"

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 15:48:11 -0800

I'd shy away from signs implying he needs a home or a companion.

My wife suggests a sign like the ones at zoos specifying species, map of habitat, foods, and so on.

By: anthill

anthill — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:01:29 -0800

WEIGHTED COMPANION CAT

By: notashroom

notashroom — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 18:03:35 -0800

All your cheezburger are belong to me.

"If I were a cat, so I would have sat."

"Old Deuteronomy lies on the floor
Of the fox and French Horn for his afternoon sleep;
And when the men say: `There's just time for one more,'
then the landlady from her back parlour will peep
And say: `Now then, out you go, by the back door,
For Old Deuteronomy mustn't be woken -
I'll have the police if there's any uproar' -
And out they all shuffle, without a work spoken."

By: Pallas Athena

Pallas Athena — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:50:16 -0800

No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.

By: divabat

divabat — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:52:05 -0800

Mrrow?

By: speicus

speicus — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:10:46 -0800

LUCKDRAGON (RETIRED)

By: Jade Dragon

Jade Dragon — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:53:45 -0800

"Yes, you may worship me."

By: mightshould

mightshould — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:19:07 -0800

Label the foot rest "caboodle". Let others put the two together....

By: fidelity

fidelity — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:11:45 -0800

Lolcattery: I are serious cat. This is serious house.

By: magnoliasouth

magnoliasouth — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:57:51 -0800

Window Supervisor

By: peep

peep — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:31:56 -0800

anthill writes "WEIGHTED COMPANION CAT"

*cries*

By: notashroom

notashroom — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 07:47:59 -0800

"If I were a cat, so I would have sat."

I flubbed this one. That should have been, "If Tiberius were a cat, so Tiberius would have sat." I don't recall the correct attribution for the quote and the only Google result is from me.

I got it from a book of cat-related quotes I saw once, and it stuck with me because we had a cat named Tiberius at the time (hence the misquote, as my mother began saying it to the cat paraphrased the way I wrote it above).

By: tarheelcoxn

tarheelcoxn — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 11:55:16 -0800

SEAL PUP

CAT (HOTH)

SNOW TROOPER

WARNING! Heavy. Lift with legs.

By: Alpenglow

Alpenglow — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 11:21:39 -0800

I've started. Here's the first sign. I'll change them weekly. I've had a few visitors already and they love it. Thanks so much for all your help! (kitty photos)

By: agregoli

agregoli — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:24:40 -0800

You have given us a great gift.

By: chrismear

chrismear — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:16:21 -0800

"kittyphotos is no longer active on Flickr." :(