No contact with a friend in Iraq for a month, normal?

November 27, 2007 12:16 PM

A friend of mine's boyfriend left for Iraq a month ago, and there has been no contact since he arrived in Iraq. Is this normal? And is there any way to get any more information on him?
posted by wukkuan to Human Relations (10 answers total)

Everything should be OK. One of my friends had 2 tours and there were many times he was out of pocket. I would recommend having your friend continue to email (keeping it very brief) so when he does get time to talk he knows she is out there thinking of him.
posted by doorsfan at 12:19 PM on November 27, 2007

Is he in the military? This is what the USO exists for. There is also a Department of Morale, Welfare and Recreation at his home base. They can provide information and facilitate correpondence as well. That is also their job, but back in the olden days a girlfriend didn't qualify for assistance; it had to be a request from a family member, spouse or fiance. I don't know how/if that's changed.

At any rate, one month of silence at deployment is not unusual. Remember, secrecy surrounding troop deployments and locations is for their safety.
posted by crush-onastick at 12:22 PM on November 27, 2007

A friend of mine was in Iraq for a year, and yeah, contact was sporadic. Especially when they were moving around.

Lots of little emails would be nice, but letters are better because they are more easily carried around and reread.
posted by cmyk at 12:22 PM on November 27, 2007

Response by poster: He is in the Army, neglected to mention that before.
posted by wukkuan at 12:29 PM on November 27, 2007

Does he have any other family? If so, is she in contact with them? A parent or sibling is likely to know something, or able to find out something. If she has no way to contact them, she might put that at the top of the list of things to arrange when she does hear from him.

There's no real reliable means of communication, either because of resources or security. Mail is probably most reliable (though not timely), since everybody gets supplies delivered eventually, but phone and email access is only likely to be broadly available at bases and very large encampments. If resources are severely limited, he might still be waiting his turn for his 5 minutes on the phone.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:17 PM on November 27, 2007

Our son has been there twice (Marine)... often there were months when he couldn't, for tech or security reasons, contact us.

Also, frequently the e/mail addresses used in the states can't be accessed.

So...there may be good reasons... Also remember that this person is now in a terrible, terrible, emotionally trying situation...he may not want to communicate for periods of time... there's a different reality over there....

Also...contact the base where the unit is stationed, see if they can give you any advice on how to maintain contact....
posted by HuronBob at 2:24 PM on November 27, 2007

snail mail seems to take on the order of a month for letters. depending on where he's deployed, email/phone might be hard to come by.

does your friend talk to her bf's family? honestly, if so, then no news is good news.

good luck and hope he stays safe over there.
posted by rmd1023 at 2:36 PM on November 27, 2007

If he died, you would know immediately, so no worries.
posted by markovich at 7:13 PM on November 27, 2007

Communication on deployment is often delayed - a month's silence is not unknown. Send letters, gift packages. Christmas Presents should have already been sent. This site should help for choosing/packing gifts and care packages.
posted by Kioki-Silver at 8:06 PM on November 27, 2007

It took up to a month for me to receive mail from brothers when they were in Iraq. When they first get overseas, it takes time for them to get set up. I wouldn't worry.
posted by Silvertree at 12:03 PM on November 29, 2007