Advice on how to get through the holiday season without losing my mind and my temper?
November 21, 2007 10:31 AM Subscribe
What are your tips on surviving holiday family dysfunction?
posted by pluckysparrow to Human Relations (45 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I dread spending the holidays with my family. My relationship with my parents and siblings is tenuous at best. I am the black sheep and the scapegoat in a family with a history of alcoholism, mental illness and verbal abuse and have lots of over anger and resentment. Despite years of therapy and alcohol treatment, my family falls into old behavioral routines over the holidays. Basically, someone in the family will do or say something passive aggressive directed at me and I respond with with biting sarcasm. Drama ensues.
One reoccurring example of my family's behavior is: they will tell me and my husband to come over at a certain time. We arrive on time, and find that everyone is almost done eating, or the birthday candles have been blown out or everyone is in the midst of opening their Christmas presents. My mom gets a kick out of calling my husband by my ex boyfriend's name and making little mean jokey comments about his family.
Basically holidays with my family are hell. If it were not for my wonderful nieces and nephew, whom I rarely get to see, I would avoid family holidays entirely. For the sake of the kids, I want to avoid any confrontations or escalation of drama, so I end up bottling all my holiday rage up inside and feeling like crap.
My family all lives locally, so it's not a multi-day or overnight holiday ordeal.
Any advice on how to get through the holiday season without losing my mind and my temper? How do other people with wildly dysfunctional families get through the holidays?