What do you do with 1000 condoms, early in the morning?

November 16, 2007 10:11 PM

What can you do with 1000 condoms? Besides the obvious, of course.

Through some odd circumstances, we've ended up with a giant box of condoms. They are in date, and will continue to be so for some time. There are well over 1000 condoms in the box. I am married and we do not use condoms. Our housemates are also a married couple that does not use condoms. While these are rainbow colored and having a violet penis is certainly sort of neat, we're not really looking to restart condom use now. We've already given one to each person at our college and we still have over 1000 left. Our town has fewer than 1000 permanent residents.

What the hell do we do with so many condoms? Bonus points for funny answers. There is no local Planned Parenthood to donate to, and I doubt anyone would accept a donation like this from private individuals anyway (what if we'd secretly poked holes in them?). I'm wondering about some sort of...condom art project. Is such a thing possible? Suggestions, please!

posted by InnocentBystander to sports, hobbies, & recreation (24 comments total)

Make a condom dress! (Many of them are really lovely, even.)
posted by thehmsbeagle at 10:13 PM on November 16, 2007

Water balloon fight.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:24 PM on November 16, 2007

Put a bit of suntan lotion in each. Throw them at people.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:25 PM on November 16, 2007 [4 favorites]

thehmsbeagle, that is BRILLIANT. We originally got these as part of a promotion for sexual health week on our campus (we're the pro choice club leaders).

We are now contemplating doing a condom fashion show as a fundraiser for our group, involving condom dresses that would then be auctioned off on ebay! Now the question is, how do we get MORE condoms? 1500 doesn't go that far if we want at least a few condom dresses!

Does anyone know if the manufacturers would send us expired/defective condoms for an art project/fundraiser?
posted by InnocentBystander at 10:30 PM on November 16, 2007

Take 365 of them, make a tire and call it a good year.
posted by IronLizard at 10:40 PM on November 16, 2007 [9 favorites]

Sorry
posted by IronLizard at 10:41 PM on November 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Send some to me, I hate to pay for them.
posted by sycophant at 11:51 PM on November 16, 2007

Hair bands, for pony tails.
posted by hortense at 11:53 PM on November 16, 2007

Hmmm, I guess if I were you I would compose a pitch letter to condom manufacturers (and possibly to specialty condom retailers... I can't remember the name. Um. They have a website.) explaining that you're doing a fundraiser as part of sexual health week, and can you have free old condoms, etc.

I would I think maybe try not to highlight the pro-choice aspect, as awful as that sounds: that might not be something the company would openly want to be affiliated with.

But definitely get in touch with them! Call or email and ask to speak to someone in the PR department.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 12:28 AM on November 17, 2007

If you're looking for something useful but not really condom-consuming, you could try waterproofing stuff using them.
posted by kureshii at 1:51 AM on November 17, 2007

Donate them to a local non-profit health group that promotes birth control. Locally we have a health center for teens that would probably love this donation, I bet there is someplace local to you as well.
posted by HuronBob at 6:29 AM on November 17, 2007

I think I have heard of people putting them over ipod shuffles to keep them dry. I bet river runners would use them for this. I just watched the above video link and it is pretty funny. Craigslist?
posted by mecran01 at 6:49 AM on November 17, 2007

Rent a helium tank and do some kind of secret guerilla art project. Fill an ATM vestibule with 'em. Tie 'em to the antennas of teachers' cars at the local highschool. Sew a hundred into a tinfoil-covered thrift-store sheet and stir up some UFO sightings.
posted by hjo3 at 7:01 AM on November 17, 2007

If you don't have a PP to donate to, see if a local theater group wants them. Back when I worked in live theater, we'd store mic packs in condoms to keep dust and liquid out.
posted by non sum qualis eram at 7:38 AM on November 17, 2007

Oddly enough, I had a similar situation - about 500 condoms in an office full of young professionals. A lot of people took them for their own personal use, but the most unconventional use of the condoms was a "Miss Conception" Halloween costume - a beauty queen with a sash made of condoms.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 7:47 AM on November 17, 2007

If they're well within date, could you continue to give them away somehow to the students on campus? At my college, many RAs had a manila envelope full of condoms hanging on their doors. You'd be surprised how many condoms a small college campus can go through in a short amount of time.
posted by k8lin at 8:37 AM on November 17, 2007

Attach them to lollipop sticks and hand them out for World AIDS day (Dec. 1st).
posted by chara at 9:00 AM on November 17, 2007

We've already given one to each person at our college and we still have over 1000 left.

Um - so, like kids these days are only having sex 1-time during their college experience?

Why not give each student 2, or god forbid 3? Share the wealth, the health and the fun!
posted by jkaczor at 9:28 AM on November 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've read they use them over rifle barrels to keep the sand out.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 10:46 AM on November 17, 2007

There aren't enough to give each student 2 or 3. It's a bigger campus than all that.
posted by InnocentBystander at 10:56 AM on November 17, 2007

You don't have to pass them out so that each person gets the same number of them. Find a semi-private place to put them where each person can take what they need. I'd put a basket of them in the ladies' room. There will be people on your campus who will appreciate it.
posted by yohko at 11:53 AM on November 17, 2007

put them in official-looking receptacles in the men's and women's washrooms. (even a large hanging enevlope with some sort of logo stuck on it to explain who's giving them out).

maybe the washroom at the nurses' office, too.
at the gym?
in the on-campus pub washroom?

it's pretty easy to see if they've been punctured, so people shouldn't worry too much about that, and will definitely take them.
posted by twistofrhyme at 12:17 PM on November 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

late to the party, but, here's more condom dresses.
posted by nax at 6:04 PM on November 17, 2007

Donate them to your local AIDS community service group. Most run on a shoestring budget and could use them.
posted by Kellydamnit at 11:00 AM on November 18, 2007