Mental Health Break for early 40's male

November 11, 2007 5:34 PM

Suggestions for a men's retreat or getaway that isn't touchy-feely?

My brother sounds like he is having a nervous breakdown. He lives in North Carolina and I would like to suggest some sort of retreat or getaway to him for few days so he can have some time to himself to get out of self-destruct mode. I am looking for suggestions for a getaway or retreat for him that does not have religious overtones and isn't about exploring his inner man. More like 3 hots and a cot. Rustic is fine as long as it is driveable/flyable. He is married and a father of pre-teens and self-employed. The marriage is not a happy one so the trip is solo and I will be purchasing it for him. Actually, I am the one fixated on a trip as a way to buy some alone time, but if you have a suggestion that would give him some breathing room or something that sounds good for a person in this situation, please let me know. Therapy has been suggested. I need something more hands on for him. Thanks.

posted by 45moore45 to human relations (11 answers total)

Why don't you just send him on a spa weekend? If you have the cash the Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa in Asheville could be nice. The spa is wonderful. Restored my faith in myself and humanity after only a day. It kind of a manly spa too. It's like a cave inside. And if he's outdoorsy, he could take a day and do some hiking.
posted by greta simone at 5:48 PM on November 11, 2007

This is why camping was invented.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:48 PM on November 11, 2007

*it's*
posted by greta simone at 5:51 PM on November 11, 2007

Maybe Big Sur? With a massage at Esalen, if you can swing it.
posted by occhiblu at 6:00 PM on November 11, 2007

Take him to the outer banks (Nag's Head), get a 2,000-foot tandem tow in a hang glider (controlled by an experienced person) from Kitty Hawk Kites, stay out there for a few days, eat bad food, maybe get a second 2,000-foot tow, maybe go out on the water in the bay on a boat, maybe see some dolphins.

Yeah, it'll be cold. He can dress warmly.

Q: Are you planning to go with him? It might be nice if he can talk with you, and it would make it less weird for his family, so they'd be more likely to accept it without arguing him half to death.
posted by amtho at 6:04 PM on November 11, 2007

Just to clarify: by 'a 2,000-foot tandem tow', I mean you pay ~$100 to have an ultralight plane tow up a hang glider, with you and an instructor strapped in the hang-glider, to about 2,000 feet in the air. Then the tow line is disconnected, and the instructor guides the hang glider to the ground. It's a few minutes of near-absolute freedom, connected to nothing, with the air rushing by you.

You might want to make allowances for multiple trips up.

The instructors do take tips.
posted by amtho at 6:07 PM on November 11, 2007

Does "3 hots and a cot" mean you/he need meals to be provided?
posted by amtho at 6:12 PM on November 11, 2007

How about a week of fly fishing lessons? Gets you out in the wilderness and the mind engaged in a challenging activity.
posted by trinity8-director at 6:25 PM on November 11, 2007

For me, physical activity is helpful to clear my mind, ie, if I have to move this mother big rock then at least I am not thinking about myself for thirty minutes. So whatever sport or hobby your brother has expressed even a vague interest in would be the one to encourage. So the trinity8's suggestion of fly fishing is good, if you brother would like to golf or play tennis or run there are get aways for that. You guys could go to a poker tournament in vegas.

If your brother likes shop type stuff he might like the center for furniture craftsmanship in Maine.
posted by shothotbot at 6:37 PM on November 11, 2007

No..."3 hots and a cot" is a slang term for jail, and I was using it to reference spartan accomodations.

Thank you for the suggestions so far. He lives in the Outer Banks so he has probably done the Outer Banks thing and he isn't a spa guy, but it got me thinking maybe craigslist for a cabin in Asheville...
posted by 45moore45 at 6:38 PM on November 11, 2007

Trinity8-director beat me to the fly-fishing suggestion. That or deep-sea fishing, as long as he doesn't kill every creature in the ocean. Do catch and release.
Or join him, get a couple of mountain bikes and haul butt along some country roads. And wear helmets, Mom says.
Or go hiking and/or camping.
posted by Smalltown Girl at 9:13 PM on November 11, 2007