Join 3,512 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Clever Comebacks to Rude Baby Weight Observations?
November 9, 2007 7:32 AM   Subscribe

My sister is seven months pregnant and has gained a healthy amount of baby weight (maybe slightly more than average - 30 to 40 pounds) ... problem is, a number of people - particularly coworkers - have come up to her and either asked if she's having twins or commented that she "looks a lot further along" than she is. I'm amazed by this rudeness, and it's really making my sister feel negative and self-conscious about her weight gain. I'd like to arm her with a good response or two to deflect the nosy/impolite questions and observations. Your very best comebacks (both snarky and polite but effective) are much appreciated!
posted by roundrock to Human Relations (55 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
'are you calling me fat?' that'll get them on the defensive quick smart
posted by zeoslap at 7:37 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Jerky Coworker: "You're only seven months pregnant? You look farther along than that."

Your Sister: "I know. The worst part is that I think that my husband may be cheating on me, so I am not even sure the baby is mine." *starts crying and leans on Jerky Coworker's shoulder*
posted by ND¢ at 7:38 AM on November 9, 2007 [12 favorites]


"What? I'm not even pregnant."

Only for those who randomly ask if she's having twins. And she should just avoid telling people details about her pregnancy if she can--soon enough people will be pressuring her to induce and telling her her birth plan sucks & etc. It's so much better to keep people ignorant so they can't share their ignorant opinions.
posted by sondrialiac at 7:39 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


There's the classic, "If I were as rotund as you are presumptuous, dear sir, you'd think me to be carrying triplets!"

Does your sister, by chance, live in Victorian Britain?
posted by farishta at 7:43 AM on November 9, 2007 [14 favorites]


"Are you having twins?"

"No, are you?"
posted by jozxyqk at 7:43 AM on November 9, 2007 [5 favorites]


I'd like to arm her with a good response or two to deflect the nosy/impolite questions and observations.

I understand why you want to do that, but does your sister want to do this? and if she does want to do it, if she can't think of responses on her own, maybe that means she's not a snappy comeback type of person and for her to try to be one now, when she's feeling fairly sensitive and hormonal, might cause her negative feelings than she currently has. After all, you can't stop rude/ignorant people, so having to regularly sink down to that level might put your sister in a continued bad frame of mind.

Besides she's pregnant, she's supposed to be gloriously fat, she's making another human being in her belly. Maybe she need to concentrate on and revel in that, as opposed to feeling negative about it. Yeah easy to say as opposed to do.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:46 AM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


I've probably been asked similar questions. I can remember my MIL declaring that I was, "huge." This comment did hurt my feelings a bit. I don't think she intended it to be insulting. I was 40 weeks, and I was most likely huge. I would never call somebody huge, but some people are clueless.

A lot of people are going to comment on pregnant bellies. They can't help themselves.

I tend to give self-deprecating, jokey responses. "Yeah, it looks like it, doesn't it? I hope I can birth this giant."

If the person is particularly annoying, I'll give a half-smile and say, "no, only seven months", change the subject or walk away.
posted by LoriFLA at 7:49 AM on November 9, 2007


It happened to me, too. I'm short, and my babies were big. Pregnancy brings out the insensitivity in many people. She will start hearing hair-raising labor and delivery stories any day now.

When people asked me questions like that, I'd either smile and ignore them, or say something innocuous like "Yeah, pregnancy's great!" and then walk away.
posted by Flakypastry at 7:52 AM on November 9, 2007


"Yeah, funny you mention that...I am actually 13 months pregnant. I have no idea what's going on..."
posted by nineRED at 7:58 AM on November 9, 2007 [9 favorites]


People are so insensitive. I don't know why people think it's okay to comment on a pregnant woman's girth or actually pat her belly. These things happened to me, too. It's difficult to not let it bother you, esp. when you are all hormonal. Hopefully your sister realizes that these folks are idiots and should be ignored. Best of luck to her!
posted by momzilla at 8:04 AM on November 9, 2007


Brandon Blatcher - you're right on that she's not the "snappy comeback type" ... but she's already dwelling on this (and wanting to talk about it), and the crass comments keep coming; if I can suggest some witty retorts to her -- and she can IMAGINE herself having the gall to say them -- maybe she can get a little laugh out of it. Like I said, though, I'm equally interested in "polite but effective" replies that she can use ... as of right now, these hurtful comments just leave her uncomfortable and speechless. Thanks for your advice, though (FWIW, I'm nine months pregnant myself, so I'm pretty sensitive to how she's feeling!).
posted by roundrock at 8:07 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ah, yes. I remember one coworker during my first pregnancy looking at my torpedo-shaped stomach and declaring, "My god, you're furniture!" My reply was, "You're an ass." That made him feel bad and then I felt bad and nothing was really accomplished.

With my second kid, I switched to more good-natured replies like, "I KNOW! I'm huge. You should see the ultrasounds. The kid's got a head like an Easter Island statue."

Those kind of comments are rude. No question about it. But, honestly, the people making those comments don't mean to be hurtful. It literally doesn't occur to them that a pregnant woman would be self-conscious about what is supposed to be a temporary weight gain. It's hard to weather it with good grace, but it's good practice for all the crap she'll take once the baby is born. (Perfect strangers will tell you the baby needs a sweater or you have it dressed too warmly or it's too old for a pacifier or it's too young for the backpack, etc., etc.)
posted by jrossi4r at 8:08 AM on November 9, 2007 [5 favorites]


"Triplets, or would have been, 2, Kelly and Kevin we think, are likely to be still born, we'll see, thanks for asking, Asshole" ?
posted by Freedomboy at 8:10 AM on November 9, 2007


Well, if people are just commenting that she looks further along, she can say that she'll be sure to mention that to her OB the next time she's at an appt. That should shut them up.

If they're being mean, saying, "WOW! You're HUGE! What are you having, Fudgie the Whale?!" A great retort I found during both my pregnancies was, "Why ever would you say something so inappropriate and hurtful?" and just wait there with dead silence. That usually made the asshole feel like an even bigger one and made the point glaringly clear. I kind of got a kick out of making them squirm, too. ;)

Just wait till she starts getting comments and questions about whether she plans on breast feeding, vaccinating, co-sleeping, etc. Those were always fun. Especially when they were coming from random people like, oh, the checkout ladies at the grocery store. *sigh*
posted by dancinglamb at 8:11 AM on November 9, 2007 [4 favorites]


I can't understand people who do this. Here's an actual exchange from about 11 months ago:

Store Employee: "Is it twins?"
Mrs True: "No, just one"
Store Employee: "Are you sure?"
Mrs True: "Yes, the doctor only saw one on the ultrasound"
Store Employee: "It could be twins, one could be hiding"

Moral of the story is that there really isn't anything you can do. We just laughed it off and she showed them when she had a nice big baby.
posted by true at 8:11 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Heh, I'm six months pregnant and got my first "so, you're due any day now!" comment last weekend. Idiot. I just smiled brightly and said "nope, still a few months to go!" and went on my way.

If snappy comebacks don't come naturally and the cumulative effect is getting her down, honesty might be the best policy. A "wow, hearing that kind of makes me feel bad" ought to shut up all but the most clueless idiots, and only a raging asshole wouldn't fall over themselves apologizing.
posted by ambrosia at 8:11 AM on November 9, 2007


"Wow, you're so big, are you having twins?"

"No, I just have an unusually healthy baby. The doctors tell me everything is going great."

I like Jrossi's suggestion, too "I KNOW! I'm huge...."

The point is that it is positive for a pregnant woman to be large, not negative. Remember that and have the reply emphasize that.
posted by alms at 8:13 AM on November 9, 2007


She could say something to the effect that she's taking extra-good care of the baby by giving it extra protection and nurturing.

Attempts at snappiness (possibly lame or insensitive attempts, but maybe someone else will have better ideas):

"Are you having twins?" "No, just one really _good_ baby."

"You look like you're farther along than that." "Yeah, we're not skimping with this one. And I'm really enjoying myself."
posted by amtho at 8:17 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Can she raise one eyebrow? That was my stock response to pretty much any unsolicited comment on my pregnancies.
posted by padraigin at 8:21 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Nope, I've just found it's easier to smuggle heroin now that I have a bigger uterus.
posted by drezdn at 8:23 AM on November 9, 2007 [9 favorites]


Can't she raise her eyebrows and ask "Excuse me?!" in her snippiest tone?
posted by sid at 8:23 AM on November 9, 2007


Hell, with my post partum body, people are still asking me if I'm pregnant. I tell 'em "yep" and proceed to take their seat on the subway. Suckas.
posted by DenOfSizer at 8:35 AM on November 9, 2007 [10 favorites]


Hw about a laugh and "You had better stick with your day job, Dr. (insert their first name here)."
posted by Eringatang at 8:45 AM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


roundrock, congratulations for you and your sister. Being pregnant at similar times must quite a bonding experience.

Here's a few quips

"Yeah, I'm fat, but I was hungry and that dwarf was freakin' huge"

:shrug: "Well, they said itw as an all you can eat buffet"

"Twins, not sure, but the real question is whose?"

"Yes, I'm having twins, can you buy us lunch?"

"Nope, it's black hole and will soon engulf us all. Sorry."

:cock eyebrow, with a sly look: "They didn't look everywhere for those WMDs"

"Na, just stealing office supplies"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:53 AM on November 9, 2007 [5 favorites]


A thicker skin and a sense of humour will do her more favours than a petulantly raised eyebrow or snippy tone.

By the end of my pregnancy, I was pretending to not be able to get through doors; when I did, I pushed my belly through first, declaring "MAKE WAY for FETUS!" &c.

The comments are stupid, sure, but it mystifies me as to why some women get so upset over them. Would they prefer "Gosh, your bump is tiny. Is your baby suffering from intra-uterine growth restriction?" Yes, obviously, no comment would be the ideal, but. It's like when people call babies themselves large or fat; the translation is generally "How healthy!" (Whether it really is is another topic, but.)
posted by kmennie at 9:05 AM on November 9, 2007


"I'd look a lot smaller if you'd keep your fatass nose outta my pussy."
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:09 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


My sister is 8 months along and complained of the same thing right around months 6-7. Yet when I saw a picture of her pregnant last week (she's in another city, I haven't been able to share her joy in person unfortunately), the first thing I said was "She's HUGE!" Thankfully I was home alone and looking at her flickr page so she didn't hear me. She would have kicked my ass.

I really think it probably has to do with people not having a filter between their brain and their mouth. Nothing wrong with reminding them that a little self-censoring of one's thoughts is a good thing. I like the idea of a slightly tilted head, raised eyebrow, and "Why would you ever say something like that to someone?"
posted by misskaz at 9:11 AM on November 9, 2007


If you truly want your sister to feel better about things, then she needs to change her own attitude about her body during pregnancy.

There is a lot of anger in this thread, calling people assholes because they mentioned that a pregnant woman is huge. Being called "huge" is insulting to women who want to be treated like they have the figure a Barbie doll. But when your pregnant, you are supposed to be huge, and you should try to be proud of that. Even if people mentioning your size is a bit forward, if you are proud of your body, it wont upset you if people mention it.

I know many women who were happy to be pregnant, comfortable with their bodies, and therefore become (more) happy if they were noticed.

When somebody says a pregnant woman is huge, they are really saying "wow, there is something here different and strange to me, but I know this is normal and so it shouldn't be insulting to talk about it so I can become more comfortable with it." I mean, do you REALLY think these people are TRYING to be insulting???

I don't care if you want to be rude back to these people. I am saying that the easiest way to happiness through this is to adjust your own attitude and accept that "huge" is how you should be. Denying it is where your anger and frustration will come from.

The specific question was about people who go a little to far and suggest you don't look just the way you should ("you look farther along than you are..."). These people have crossed over the line a bit. As others in this thread have pointed out, its best for your own state of mind to just tell them exactly how it is. Let them know that your baby is healthy and you are just the right size, and that you are happy about that. If they persist, let them know your doctor disagrees, and that you find the implication that something is wrong with you or your baby to be upsetting. They will back down.

Congratulate your sister on her pregnancy, and remind her how happy she should be that she is the size she is - any smaller and her baby wouldn't be as healthy. Enjoy your healthy body and your healthy baby, it's a truly joyous thing.
posted by PJensen at 9:12 AM on November 9, 2007 [8 favorites]


I really agree with PJensen and though I favorited a lot of comments in this thread, one that I also thought was appropriate was Eringatang's (because it made the point that the unwanted commenter really is inflicting a stupid opinion in an area they know nothing about without being too rude). I say all this as a formerly (9 weeks) HUGE pregnant woman.
posted by artifarce at 9:34 AM on November 9, 2007


"You're huge!"

"OMG, really?! I had no idea."
posted by happyturtle at 9:38 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't think people necessarily mean it in a bad way.

I mean, women are usually supposed to be skinny, right? And when you're pregnant, people already feel very involved with you, physically (and I get that that's irritating, no pregnant lady wants a stranger to pat her belly. But I think it comes from a good place of tribal interest in how the species is doing.) and it's also the only time in a woman's life when people can go "OH MY GOD, you're HUGE!" and mean it as a compliment.

Pregnant women are lovely. People like to admire them. And yeah, it's kind of awkward to be stared at and discussed if you're a physically-modest woman who, pre-pregnancy, avoided being ogled. Even so, I think your sister should respond to "My god, you're HUGE!" with a stroking her belly proudly and preening a little bit.

A snippy comeback is more likely to reinforce in her own mind that being "huge" and pregnant is a bad combination that she needs to feel defensive about.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 10:00 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


The only appropriate response to inappropriate comments like this, is a long pause, then say "Wow". Don't smile. And then turn away and carry on. Don't drop to their level by being snarky or giving a smartass comeback. Just that one word lets them know they've been way out of line and they've offended you. I always prefer taking the high road and remaining in control. My mother in law used to ask me if I was having twins. I guess she thought it was funny but I didn't, so I sympathize with your sister.

Congratulations to you both in advance - wishing her a healthy baby and hoping you have many happy times with your little niece or nephew.
posted by Kangaroo at 10:06 AM on November 9, 2007


I mean, women are usually supposed to be skinny, right?

Isn't that attitude a part of the problem?
posted by agregoli at 10:11 AM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


I don't know what you're saying.

What I was saying is "Since in our culture women are made to feel bad about their bodies if they aren't tiny, the OP's sister is imbuing "My God, you're huge!" with all kinds of overtones it doesn't have in reference to pregnant ladies".
posted by thehmsbeagle at 10:13 AM on November 9, 2007


[a few comments removed - ok folks, if you want to turn this into a gender & expctations thread that needs to be shifted to metatalk]
posted by jessamyn at 10:27 AM on November 9, 2007


I think the point that some posters are missing -- and there's no way that they'd ever be able to know that unless they've experienced it firsthand -- is that for many pregnant women it's not 'just' a comment, but an affront.

First, there's the phase where people just think you're fat. And that's assuming you've even gotten so far as been able to have been even get pregnant. (More people than you will *ever* realise have jumped through the medical and financial hoops of infertility to have the privilege of children.) You've gained weight in your first trimester, but you haven't 'popped'. You're completely self-conscious, and you've likely not told many people that you're pregnant because you want to try and make it to the 'safe zone' past 12 weeks (where it's more likely you won't miscarry - but no guarantees). If you've been one of the 'lucky' ones and have lost babies in the past, you might even wait till you're closer to 20 weeks before telling anybody you're preggo, so you're even more bristling if somebody says something to you.

Then you get to the point where you finally 'pop', so you have to wear your regular clothes, but unbuttoned with an elastic band holding them up - or maternity clothes that are usually too big and fall down all the time.

From there, there's the small window of opportunity where you feel awesome. You look like the Gap Maternity Models. You think you finally are cute. You still have ankles. Your boobs don't hurt anymore. You're probably not still barfing and/or constantly nauseous. Your hair, skin and nails look positively awesome. In short, you've probably never looked better.

From there, well, it kind of goes down hill. If your genes were unkind your stretch marks get out of control. You get varicose veins in places that are just horrifying. Forget shaving anyplace below your underarms. Everything hurts. You can't cough or sneeze without peeing. You can't sleep without being in the middle of a pillow fort. Glowing? Oh yeah. That's because you feel like you're living in a 450 degree oven 99% of the time. Sure you're glowing. And sweating like a whore in church.

So, while all this is going on, day in day out, you have random people coming up to you asking 'boy or girl'? When are you due? Do you have a name? Are you going to circumcise? Are you going to breastfeed? Are you going to stay home/work/cosleep/sling/carry your baby on a yak? Your Mother in Law is asking you to name your kid after her third cousin Horace. The drycleaner is insisting you're having a boy, when in fact, your amnio has demonstrated you're having a girl. Then some random idiot comes up to you and says, Holy COW! You're GIANORMOUS! Are you SURE you're only SEVEN months along, 'cause you sure as hell look way larger than that to me, but wtf do I know, because I'm only the produce manager at Garden of Eden.

Well, yeah we're all not going to be as gracious as the Blessed Mother. So, forgive us if

There is a lot of anger in this thread, calling people assholes because they mentioned that a pregnant woman is huge. Being called "huge" is insulting to women who want to be treated like they have the figure a Barbie doll. But when your pregnant, you are supposed to be huge, and you should try to be proud of that. Even if people mentioning your size is a bit forward, if you are proud of your body, it wont upset you if people mention it.

posted by dancinglamb at 10:40 AM on November 9, 2007 [32 favorites]


I had just the opposite problem. I wasn't overweight to begin with, and then I only gained eight pounds during my pregnancy. Once I did start showing, about two weeks before my daughter was born (full term, eight pounds, completely healthy), if people asked when I was due and I'd say, "In 10 days," they'd obliquely accuse me of not eating right, or not taking care of my baby. ("Girrrlfriend, don't you know you should be eating for two?!")

It was clearly a case of not filtering what they thought before saying it, and sometimes they caught themselves and were nice about having blurted something inappropriate.

Part of me was insulted, but on the other hand I really did appreciate their genuine interest and concern. I finally decided that people just care, that they find pregnancy fascinating and interesting, and because it's so visible (for normal people at least) it's sort of a public thing that we all converse about. We're also all sort of entitled to talk about it, because we have been pregnant, will be pregnant, know someone who is or was pregant, have gotten someone pregnant, or at the very least were once a fetus. It's a common experience for all of us, sort of like being caught in the rain. So if I get caught in the rain and someone comments that I look like a drowned rat, I think it's because they've been caught before and have realized that they look like a drowned rat. It's not permanent, so it's sort of funny and shared.

So, I guess this is a long-winded way of saying that as hard as it is to not take these comments as criticism, it's really important that your sister at least think about the possibility that at most of the comments aren't criticism -- that it's glorious to be round and full of baby and the commenters know that, that the comments are a sign of interest and affection and common experience, that the hugeness is temporary and the commenters know that too, and that snarky retorts (as hilarious as they are to read) aren't (in those cases) the best way to handle the "HUGE" comments.

On the other hand, a friend of my mother's was standing in line at a bank with her three children, all of whom look completely different from each other. The woman behind her said snarkily, "My how different all of your children look." My mother's friend said, "It's because I sleep around." That shut up the stranger quickly. I guess if the comment seems mean-spirited, snark away.
posted by Capri at 10:48 AM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


My sister-in-law, who had twins on her second pregnancy, told us about a story where one of her former co-workers exclaimed 'My god, you're tremendous!' on meeting her during the third trimester.

Just to put things in perspective, I need to note that s-i-l used to work for Hugo Boss, wore a size 2 when that co-worker knew her, et cetera, so you know said person's expectations about my sister-in-law.

My sister-in-law's response to the co-worker was, "No, I'm gloriously pregnant!"

I kind of like that line a lot.
posted by mephron at 10:55 AM on November 9, 2007


"Wow, you're HUGE!"
"Well, duh, I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?"
posted by peep at 10:59 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


If she wants 'em to know they're embarrassing her but she doesn't want to be rude in return, she can say, "Wow, a lot of people are commenting that I'm bigger than I should be. I feel embarrassed/ self-conscious." It's not a criticism of their ineptitude, but it gets the point across -- and it's true.
posted by wryly at 12:01 PM on November 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


no, i'm not really pregnant, at my husband's request, i just shoplifted a watermelon. we're gonna use it in some kind of wild sex thing also involving hello kitty and an outboard motor.
posted by bruce at 12:04 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm amazed by this rudeness

yeah, there are a lot of people like that. does she really want to spend the last two months of her pregnancy either dreaming up witty responses to indelicate questions or looking for the printout of this thread in her bag?

I say let it go, it's less stressful in the end. manners -- like brains -- cannot really be acquired. and stress is bad for all of us, I'm sure it's even worse for pregnant women.
posted by matteo at 12:22 PM on November 9, 2007


I'm marking lots of "best answers" here (both quips that I think would be effective - even though my sister is not the type to carry through with them - and more subtle responses that might help her handle the situation). Thanks for all the anecdotes, too -- this kind of stuff will make her laugh and realize that she's not alone ....

I have to say that I think it's a bit unrealistic to simply say that pregnant women should just embrace their chemically-out-of-whack, achy, enlarged bodies -- and that any woman who doesn't delight in strangers noting her newly enormous tummy/bottom/etc simply isn't comfortable with her body or otherwise lacks confidence. There is (for better or for worse) an enormous emphasis on the female body in society, and the upshot of that is that women -- even the most confident women -- tend to be body conscious. Telling a pregnant woman that her body looks dramatically bigger than it "should" (as by presuming twins, commenting on "excess" baby weight at a particular stage, or just calling her "huge") is not just being curious or "interested" in the trials and tribulations of pregnancy -- it is insensitive and unacceptable.... Bravo to those who can let it roll right off with a good sense of humor - but my sister - who I think is in good company with other hormonal/emotional/sensitive pregnant women - can't help but take the rude comments to heart. Do I think that these strangers and coworkers are are trying to be rude? Some of them, probably (some people are just mean-spirited), but while the rest may not be trying to hurt her feelings, they are certainly succeeding -- and if one person can stand up to that rudeness (intentional or not), perhaps they can make the offending party think twice before they insult the next pregnant woman they encounter.
posted by roundrock at 12:30 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


There is (for better or for worse) an enormous emphasis on the female body in society, and the upshot of that is that women -- even the most confident women -- tend to be body conscious.

I'm sure this will be deleted, but: You do get that while it would be easier for her to change her perspective on her own body, realizing that her own sensitivity is based on unrealistic expectations (which do, in large part, disappear when it comes to pregnant women), you are insisting that instead the rest of the world should change their behavior to accommodate her.
posted by troybob at 12:48 PM on November 9, 2007


No, I think the idea is to inform the rest of the world that their comments are unwelcome and bordering on rude. Because the unspoken addendum to "You're huge!" is "you're not supposed to be".
posted by casarkos at 12:51 PM on November 9, 2007


Roundrock- Just wanted to wish you and your sister best of luck for safe and healthy deliveries. I know some days are way more difficult than others. But in the end, the goal is the same. Cook the babe till s/he's ready to get here. :) Godspeed to both of you. Snarky comments or not.
posted by dancinglamb at 12:53 PM on November 9, 2007


I was bigger than I wanted to be before I got pregnant - now I am six months along, and pretty much obviously pregnant and not just "large." Depending on what I wear, people may make comments about me being much MORE pregnant than I actually am, or "you must be about ready!" I just say "nope!" and smile.

Most people, even women who have had children, have no idea about how anyone else "should" look at various stages of pregnancy. Everyone is different, everyone carries differently, and only you and your doctor know how much weight is appropriate to gain. I just take comments in the spirit in which they were made, and they don't bother me.

Hell, a lot of what makes pregnant women look "huge" is fluid, placenta and baby, which is going to happen whether you eat for two or not.
posted by pinky at 12:56 PM on November 9, 2007


isn't it the damnedest thing? seven months ago, i finally let him put his man-thingy in me and it's been swelling ever since!
posted by bruce at 1:37 PM on November 9, 2007


Reassure your sister that she looks fantastic. Most pregnant women have really healthy hair, so try "Gee your hair looks fabulous" as well as commenting on how great it is that she's eating healthy food, not drinking, getting exercise, to gently reinforce the reality that she's doing something really important and special. Bring the focus back to "I can't wait to meet your baby" instead of the size of her belly.
posted by theora55 at 1:40 PM on November 9, 2007


You know, it also bothers me (an obese person who has never been pregnant) when pregnant women constantly lament how fat they are. No, most of yours will go away. Mine won't.

One day a skinny but very pregnant woman walked by me in a store. Her little girl, who looked to be about 4 or 5, said, "Mommy, you're not fat like her!" I think that, if Mommy hadn't been going on and on about how fat she was, her kid wouldn't have said that.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:51 PM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


"You're huge!" = "Yup, coming right along." or "Yup, boy is it a pain."
(I suspect a lot of the "you're huge" from women is meant to either be thoughtlessly chipper: "you're doing so well at this pregnancy thing!" or sympathetic: "I remember when I was far along in my pregnancy and there was no comfortable position; if you want to complain about it I will offer a sympathetic ear.")

"Is it twins?" = "Nope, I'm just carrying high."
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:07 PM on November 9, 2007


I had a boss one day who asked me how I was feeling when I was about 12 weeks along. I said: "OK generally, but very tired at the end of the day" (I am not exagerating - that's all I said). My other boss said: "I don't want to hear any complaining. That baby is only this big (and pointed to his pinky finger). There is no way he is affecting you!"

To which I answered quickly: "As soon as you grow someone inside your body, you can tell me how to f--king feel". And walked away.

He didn't make another comment throughout my pregnancy.
posted by beachhead2 at 4:43 PM on November 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


Maybe this wouldn't be the best response for your sister, but I kind of enjoyed this when I was about 8 months along:

"Oh, you're sooo big! Look at that belly! Must be a big baby!"
"To tell you the truth, it's mostly beer weight." *fake belch*
posted by maryh at 9:13 PM on November 9, 2007


"I'm having sextuplets but they're not all supposed to live."
posted by FreezBoy at 1:23 PM on November 10, 2007


Roll your eyes and show the bottom row of your teeth, sigh, and shrug, then say "I guess."
posted by philosophistry at 9:11 AM on November 12, 2007


« Older High school was traumatic and ...   |  How to turn a corporation into... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.