Where to Propose in San Fran?

November 2, 2007 1:06 PM

If you were going to propose to your SO in San Francisco, where would you go for the ideal romantic setting to pop the question? I am flying to San Francisco with my girlfriend in the next couple of weeks. She thinks we are going to a sporting event with friends. Instead, I am going ask for her hand in marriage! What would be the ideal setting? Also, would you have any recommendations for a romantic, unique hotel?

I have been to San Francisco a handful of times, but I am still not too familiar with the city. Previous posts have a myriad of suggestions, but these were all in the vicinity of Golden Gate. I, however, would be open to suggestions anywhere in the area. We are flying into Oakland, and I want to drive directly to the proposal destination (it will likely be mid-afternoon).

As of today I have reservations at the Ritz as well as the Four Seasons, but would be willing to cancel if I could find a more unique gem with a romantic vibe.

But most important to me is the proposal location. I want to pull the trigger outdoors in a non-touristy locale, and preferably in a fairly remote location.

So far, the suggestions have been: Twin Peaks, Ferry Building, Arboretum in Golden Gate Park, Jack Early Park, Land’s End, Woodwards Garden.

A friend also recommended that I take her to a park near Buena Vista restaurant (where we would celebrate afterwards).

Which of these would top your list? Any other thoughts/suggestions?

Thanks very much for your help planning my big day!

posted by jaseaco to society & culture (48 comments total)

Palace of Fine Arts
Ocean Beach (at sunset!)
Twin Peaks
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:11 PM on November 2, 2007

While riding the merry-go-round at Golden Gate Park. It's the real thing--restored 1912 carousel.
posted by jujube at 1:15 PM on November 2, 2007

Well, jaseaco, when I proposed to my SO in SF, I did so in my apartment. But that's probably not going to work for you, so let me add a few spots to your suggestion.

Angel Island. You can take the ferry out there, and bring a picnic lunch. There's a lot of lovely views of the city, and some secluded spots on the island perfect for popping the question. Before I proposed, I'd taken my SO out there for a picnic and a hike, and that was when I decided to ask her. It was a brilliant decision, and I'd do it again in a second.

Sutro Baths. Did you ever seen harold and maude? While I'm sure (or at least, I hope) you and your SO have a relationship a little less rocky than they did, there are some great scenes in that film shot out at the old ruins of the Sutro Baths, which is kind of in between Land's End and Ocean Beach. Even though there are usually some tourists there, there are also plenty of secluded spots. Check it out!

Golden Gate Park, as you've noted, is also a nice, if apparent spot for asking for your SO's hand. We got married there, in the Fuschia Dell, which is a nice and quite little glen tucked away sort of behind the old caretaker's mansion right at the entrance of the park. It was so nice that we had some friends copy us and get married in the same darned spot. I obviously like that it.

[on preview] I'm seeing lots of other brilliant ideas up there. I think you'll have no problem finding the right spot. Hearty congrats, and have a great visit.
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:21 PM on November 2, 2007

the palace of fine arts.
halfway across the golden gate bridge.
the church on washington square park where marilyn monroe and joe dimaggio got married.
posted by thinkingwoman at 1:23 PM on November 2, 2007

And hotels? Well, it's hard to beat the Ritz or the Four Seasons, but if you're going first-class, have you thought of the Mark Hopkins? The Top of the Mark is a bit touristy, but it's also kind of breathtaking.

Oh, now you've got me jonesing for SF.
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:26 PM on November 2, 2007

and if you're willing to travel a bit, what about Stinson Beach?

now you've REALLY got me jonesing for SF . . .
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:35 PM on November 2, 2007

have you thought of the Mark Hopkins?

Very funny you mentioned that-it was my first choice and it is booked solid!

These recommendations are amazing! Looks like I have my work cut out for me to find the right spot for us...
posted by jaseaco at 1:37 PM on November 2, 2007

This may sound offbeat (because it is...), but if you want unique, the Presidio Pet Cemetery is pretty great.

It's located under an overpass, and has a view of the park, the bay, and the golden gate. I've never seen anyone else there, though I've only been there once, when my fiance and I stumbled across it on our trek back from the Golden Gate bridge.

As for food - I had the best meal of my life at Cafe Tiramisu (within a few blocks of Union Square) last news year's eve.

It's touristy as hell, but Alcatraz might be a fun place - all depends on your sense of humor though.

Also, near the Ghirardelli building and park, there's a bit of a beach and a nice long pier (just south of the really touristy areas). It's nice, calm and quiet there, especially before noon.

Congratulations!!!
posted by terpia at 1:38 PM on November 2, 2007

Alcatraz!

The Filber t Steps on the way up to Coit tower is neat and a bit secluded but you'd be sweaty

Don't eat at the Buena Vista. Its not that great and Gary Danko's is literally a block away.

Fort Point would be kind of neat or Muir Woods - esepcially the Marin headlands.

There's not much there but the view of SF from Treasure Islandon a clear night when the sun is going down is breathtaking - also could be done on the way into SF.

The Ferry building is neat but not very romantic.
posted by bitdamaged at 1:41 PM on November 2, 2007

I hope she doesn't read MetaFilter.
posted by lostburner at 1:44 PM on November 2, 2007

well, if the mark hopkins is sold out, but you'd like something totally SF and kind of funky, look at the hotel triton.

despite the flash on their website, it's kind of a cool place, and in a great neighborhood (where little italy meets chinatown). the concierge there will be able to fully hook you up.

!salud!
posted by deejay jaydee at 1:46 PM on November 2, 2007

I hope she doesn't read MetaFilter.

Funny, I JUST thought of that possibility.

However, I'd say this is highly unlikely (I hope...)
posted by jaseaco at 1:50 PM on November 2, 2007

If she's outdoorsy, go just outside the city and hike Mt. Tamapalis.
posted by slow graffiti at 1:52 PM on November 2, 2007

My fiancee proposed to me in our neighborhood restaurant that had a lot of meaning for us but I have to admit, I'm fond of the Japanese Tea Garden at Golden Gate park.
posted by lannanh at 1:55 PM on November 2, 2007

Muir Beach Overlook is really pretty around sunset.
posted by aubilenon at 1:55 PM on November 2, 2007

My SF-aficionado bf suggests the beaches over in the Sunset district offer fairly decent privacy, a great view of the sunset (imagine that!) and a beautiful setting overall.

Some of the trails around the back side of Alcatraz are nice, but they may be a bit cold this time of year.

What about on a boat in the Bay? I had a wonderful trip on the Hawaiian Chieftain, a topsail ketch out of Sausalito. Might not be as private, but it's certainly more unique.
posted by Madamina at 1:57 PM on November 2, 2007

The views from Fort Baker are very stunning. As for hotels, I like the Westin St. Francis which has a lot of character. More so if you stay in the old tower and you can't beat the location.
posted by mmascolino at 2:01 PM on November 2, 2007

As of today I have reservations at the Ritz as well as the Four Seasons

I'd choose the Ritz over the Four Seasons. The Ritz is in an older building and beautiful. The Four Seasons is basically in a newly-built office tower.
posted by vacapinta at 2:09 PM on November 2, 2007

As a thought/suggestion, make sure she has appropriate clothing/is dressed up/appropriately for the surprise. That way she won't feel self-conscious if you take her somewhere nice.

Also, if you have her ring size exactly, that would be ideal--so she can show off the ring ASAP. Tell the stewardess/everyone you can that you just got engaged. You might get free champagne.

CONGRATS!
posted by sondrialiac at 2:19 PM on November 2, 2007

There's some great ideas here. I'll caution that places like twin peaks and ocean beach can get very windy as certain times of day, especially at sunset. But you might luck out. Those places are also not really that secluded. Also, the pet cemetery cited above is beneath a highway overpass so while it's unique it's not really romantic.

This weekend I was hiking around the Presidio and I discovered a lovely community garden just east and up the hill from the Fort Mason Center. Once you enter there's a small bench up the hill surrounded by flowers and with a good view. It's located here around Shaffer and Pope Streets. You could go to Greens Restaurant close-by afterward.

Another idea would be at the recently added veranda-like structure adjacent to the meadow tucked away in the Botanical Gardens. It's outside, secluded and romantic. You could hit Eos in Cole Valley for wine or food afterward.
posted by quadog at 2:21 PM on November 2, 2007

woohoo! I actually did this at Fort Point (and asked the hive about it first).

It was lovely, despite the fog!
posted by tonylord at 2:34 PM on November 2, 2007

Depends on the weather (i.e. foggy & windy versus...not), and the time of day, but consider the Point Bonita Lighthouse in the Marin Headlands (just north of the Golden Gate Bridge). If that doesn't work, the Headlands are packed with outdoors, romantic, secluded spots.
posted by rtha at 3:06 PM on November 2, 2007

Wow, this is amazing-everyone here is so helpful and thoughtful!

I have been taking a good look at Palace of Fine Arts, it sure looks beautiful!

I will certainly let everyone know what I decide and how it all goes down....
posted by jaseaco at 3:47 PM on November 2, 2007

Not directly answering your question, but you might want to make a reservation at Cafe Jacqueline. It's the most romantic little restaurant I've ever seen. Hard to say why, but it has a very European feel and is focused on dining for couples (they serve souflees, very good ones).
posted by lubujackson at 4:36 PM on November 2, 2007

I'm surprised no one has suggested the Red Victorian on Haight.

Its definitely unique.
posted by ian1977 at 4:43 PM on November 2, 2007

I like the marina or the parade ground for the Presidio on the North side of the Golden Gate. Hardly anyone ever goes there, but it's a nice pleasant walk, usually isn't freezing and windy, and has an absolutely awesome view of SF. If you're driving, the road up the cliffs the opposite way (ocean side of the bridge, last exit before you cross to SF) has some very cool stopping spots.
posted by ctmf at 4:57 PM on November 2, 2007

The Presidio pet cemetery is currently under a whole lot of freeway-repainting equipment, but Crissy Field is beautiful.

The Palace of Fine Arts is a little weird- yes, the dome is lovely, but inside it's a big gravelly empty space with tourists and the occasional goose wandering through.

There are some lovely overlooks at the Legion of Honor. The tops of Grand View Park (c. 15th Ave and Moraga) or Twin Peaks are spectacular. Grand View is pretty secluded, too.
posted by moonlet at 5:49 PM on November 2, 2007

My father proposed to my stepmother on the Golden Gate Bridge.
posted by desjardins at 5:56 PM on November 2, 2007

The Hawaiian Chieftain moved back east, unfortunately. There are still a lot of ferry boats, though. The ambiance won't be all that, but the views will be fantastic, and when you get cold I think you can go inside out of the wind.

I'm an outdoors kind of person, so I'd go with Ocean Beach if you don't want to leave SF, and someplace in the Marin Headlands, if you don't mind driving out. Muir Woods? Muir Beach? The Townsley Battery at Fort Cronkhite?

More about beaches:
Tennessee Valley Beach is one of my favorites, but it takes 20 minute to walk to it from the parking lot. Also, don't go in the water there because the tides are tricky. Stinson Beach is nice but not intimate. It's also far away. So is Bolinas, plust it's beach disappears completely at high tide.

There are a lot of very cool places southwards, too, but I don't know that area very well.

Whatever you do, definitely have a backup plan that's indoors.

I don't know the hotels, though the Pelican Inn at (at! though you can't see the water from it- just trees.) Muir Beach has always sounded like someplace it would be fun to run away to. For over the top goofiness, check out the Joie De Vivre hotels website, which won't load for me at the moment. Maybe it's dead these days. It did used to have places along the lines of Hotel Bijou , The Phoenix Hotel, and the Archbishop's Mansion.
posted by small_ruminant at 6:07 PM on November 2, 2007

East Bay represents! If it's not too foggy and you want to take her breath away, especially if she hasn't been here before and is accustomed to flat places, there's nothing quite like the view from Grizzly Peak Blvd--there are several places you can pull over off the road. For an actual parking spot, there's the plaza outside the Lawrence Hall of Science featured in the movie the Forbin Project. Cool if you're science fiction fans.
posted by tula at 6:07 PM on November 2, 2007

I wonder about the east side of the city. There are some beautiful concrete staircases, especially around Telegraph Hill, that the lucky folks that live on the hill use to get to their front doors. The gardens and trees here are incredible and it's quite secluded, since most tourists take the bus up to the tower rather than hoofing it. Once you get to the top, you get a clear view of the whole city.
posted by PercussivePaul at 6:08 PM on November 2, 2007

If its nice out - I would do the marin headlands. Absolutely gorgeous there, perfect sunset area. If not so nice, I would go with the sea cliff restaurant at the end of the beach. Bad food, beautiful place to have supper
posted by zia at 6:12 PM on November 2, 2007

ooo- yeah- hard to beat the golden gate bridge, looking out into the endless Pacific.
posted by small_ruminant at 6:13 PM on November 2, 2007

Yeah, what zia said -- the Marin Headlands. (It looks exactly like that minus the road in the foreground, they must have gone up higher than most people or something.)

It's fairly easy to find -- take the first real exit north of the Golden Gate bridge ("real," meaning, if there is a scenic pull-off first, not that one), turn west (I think you go under the highway), turn left or don't turn at all - you should find yourself going south then curving uphill and southwest. You'll end up at a parking area where you can walk like 100-200 feet toward the overlook, and there you can sit and look either to your right out to the Pacific, or straight to see the Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge and the city.

When my cousin got married, we went on a tour of the most scenic spots in the city to photograph him and his new wife, and that spot was by far the winner.
posted by salvia at 6:21 PM on November 2, 2007

I'm almost positive the place I'm talking about is the pulloff you see in the center here, and then you can go out on those footpaths to look out over the ocean and the city. You can zoom out to figure out the directions, but in my experience, it's been fairly intuitive to find and to know "we're here" when you're there.

This is all assuming you're renting a car or bikes, though. And it's windy up there, so if you go at sunset, bring jackets. Good luck!
posted by salvia at 6:28 PM on November 2, 2007

I started to answer this earlier but got interrupted -- since then my suggestion of Marin headlands has come up several times. So nthing that -- it meets your specs of "remote and outdoorsy", yet, from the right spots you can have a hilltop to yourself overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge and all of San Francisco, while catching the sunset as well, if you time it right. If you Google Map/Earth it, the road you want to be on is Conzelman Road; on the sattelite view you can pick out the trails up the hills.
posted by beagle at 6:33 PM on November 2, 2007

Screw the location, go for the romance! I would gather up some stuff that makes you a couple, things that were memorial moments from your past as a dating couple. Bring a canister to put them in (like a little treasure chest sort of looking thing)- at night, pick a nice spot on a beach some where and bury them together. Pick the date you want to return to dig them up- say five years.

Then, at that moment state; "I really do love you with all my heart. That being the case will you, Miss Hot-as-hell-woman, please do me the honor of agreeing to marrying me today?"

If you pick a nice secluded spot you might even get lucky. Bring two bottles of champagne, one to dig up and one to drink then. Good luck!
posted by bkeene12 at 7:49 PM on November 2, 2007

I got engaged in a paddle boat in the middle of Golden Gate Park.

I would say the hands down most beautiful place (on a non-foggy/rainy day) is the labyrinth at Land End. You have a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Golden Gate, the ocean as the sun goes down, etc. etc..

Plus you have this really neat stone labyrinth against the natural scene.
posted by bottlebrushtree at 9:00 PM on November 2, 2007

I agree with bitdamaged: Fort Point if you want a place in SF. The Palace of Fine Arts, next to the Exploratorium would also be pretty romantic. And, we just stayed at the Fairmont which is beautiful.

Congrats.
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 5:37 AM on November 3, 2007

Please post an update when you pop the question. I'm sure we'd all love to hear the outcome.

Personally, I hope she lurks on MetaFilter and responds to this question with a big fat YES. That would be awesome.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:14 PM on November 3, 2007

have a backup plan that's indoors

Uh, yeah...guess I should have something to fall back on (after all this IS SF).

Would anyone happen to have a backup plan indoors in the city in case it rains?

Weather permitting, I am loving the idea of the Marin Headlands-beautiful!
posted by jaseaco at 11:25 PM on November 4, 2007

Hmmm.... indoors...

City Hall? (But what are its hours?)

Coit Tower? (But is it too crowded? And what are its hours?)

Hmm. I'm thinking maybe some romantic restaurant on the water would be better than either of those.
posted by salvia at 12:08 AM on November 5, 2007

Indoors:
the DeYoung Museum in GG Park.
posted by beagle at 5:24 AM on November 5, 2007

Well, I got the ring today, and have narrowed down the spot to the Golden Gate park area (assuming no rain).

I am now struggling with one more thing-which hotel?

My choices right now are:

W Hotel
Four Seasons
Ritz
Intercontinental
Fairmont

By the way, I am 33 and she is 28. She LOVES the W, but is it romantic enough for this special weekend?

Thanks again for all your help, everyone here is so wonderful!
posted by jaseaco at 4:52 PM on November 6, 2007

Well we are engaged!

I popped the question in the rain at the Spreckels Temple of Music in Golden Gate Park. I wanted to do it in the Deyoung Museum (which is right next to Spreckels), but we were late and they were closing. But if I could go back I would not change a thing. It was raining and we were in the dark, so it was a very romantic setting! Thanks very much to everyone for your help...
posted by jaseaco at 5:36 PM on November 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

Yay! Congratulations to you both!
posted by rtha at 7:42 PM on November 13, 2007

Yay! Congratulations, you two!
posted by small_ruminant at 9:09 PM on November 13, 2007

congratulations!
posted by gingerbeer at 7:14 PM on November 14, 2007