I've got all the time in the world, and nothing to do with it.

October 31, 2007 11:37 PM

How do you try new things?

Lately I've noticed that my life is pretty boring. I wake up, go to work, come home, watch hockey while I endlessly refresh web sites or play video games, exercise a bit and then go to bed and read until I fall asleep. My life has been like this with small variations for as long as I can remember. I want to do new things and meet new people, but erm, I have no idea how.

To make things a little more difficult, I moved to a new city (Costa Mesa, CA) about 6 months ago. I'm not really familiar with the area and most of my friends are prohibitively large distances away.

My current interests are programming, video games, hockey, and pulpy science-fiction/fantasy novels.

How do I find interesting new things to try? And once I've found something that interests me, how do I actually go about doing it?

posted by hamhed to sports, hobbies, & recreation (16 comments total)

For starters, check your local newspaper for free activities going on in your town (concerts, lectures, classes, etc) that might interest you, or even some that seem less appealing.

Make a point to go to one at least once a week.

One thing that worked for me is making a list of 52 things that I wanted to do in a year and doing one each week. I got the idea from a dude named Owen Lowry .

Here's my list
Here's another good site to help you get started.

It's probably one of the most rewarding and liberating things I've done in a long time. Let me know if you have questions.

Good luck!
posted by chara at 11:58 PM on October 31, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

*Lowery, rather
posted by chara at 11:59 PM on October 31, 2007

Get outside. Join the Sierra Club on some local hikes (schedule). There's an OC chapter. You can post an ad on Craigslist (under the 'strictly platonic' section) for a video game/hockey/book-reading buddy.
posted by HotPatatta at 11:59 PM on October 31, 2007

This Book Will Change Your Life.

Some of it is tongue-in-cheek, but it's also hilarious and has some great suggestions. Do them!
posted by disillusioned at 1:08 AM on November 1, 2007

I (and others) have had success in recognising that when you get home from a day's work, you're tired and you really really just want to sit down and chill... and before you know it, your evening is gone, then before you know it, your week is gone, and you've done... nothing much. Even when you have the option to try new things all set up and waiting to go, it's easy to underestimate the difficulty of trying to do anything new after getting home from work.

In order to fight this, the easiest way I know is to bar access from those easy recreation options (the tv, video games, websites), and you'll feel a bit grumpy about it when you get home, and at that moment you won't want to do something more productive, but with the easy options out of the way, and boredom now competing with apathy, you can usually force yourself to start something new.
Then, give it 30 minutes, and you'll be enthusiastically into the new activity, enjoying yourself, and doing something new.

The same struggle will repeat the next day, and every day, and won't ever get much easier. But if you work a 40 hour week, there really isn't time in the day to start chilling when you get home from work and still get stuck into new things.
Save the chilling for when you hit the sack after an evening of fun and excitement. That's when it feels really good, rather than merely unwinding.

YMMV :)
posted by -harlequin- at 1:32 AM on November 1, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

I'd recommend the book Yes Man, about a guy in a similar situation and what he did about it, for inspiration.
posted by dixie flatline at 1:38 AM on November 1, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I absolutely hated the book Yes Man. I thought it was one of the most poorly written and flat out boring books I've ever attempted. I gave it to the Goodwill after reading 3/4s. All you can lear from it is: Say YES more often, especially in places where you would normally say no. However, do be a douche like Danny and say yes to BIGGER PENIS emails.

Similar things are espoused with much better writing in books like The Year of Yes.

My way of learning new things is just by talking to people I normally wouldn't have. It helps if you throw away your iPod (if you use one).
posted by dobbs at 5:36 AM on November 1, 2007

You could try joining something like a book group that meets once a week or so. New people, guaranteed talking points and lots of social potential. Has the bonus of giving you something to do in your time when your not meeting them.

Other question to ask is whether you play a musical instrument or something like that. If you do, you could get back to that, or if you don't consider learning one. Great at sucking up lots of time, and as you get better, lots of social options too.

Of course the added benefit to either of these is that chicks dig a guy who reads or who plays music. Don't ask me why, they just do. I mean, look at meatloaf!

Good luck, I know its hard getting started on these things, but it was doing something like this after moving to a new place in uk that got me some great friends and more importantly right now, my wife!

: )
posted by Jonnykid at 5:40 AM on November 1, 2007

Try searching new groups in your area on meetup.com. I've found some new interests simply by going to a meetup and talking with new people.
posted by studentbaker at 5:54 AM on November 1, 2007

It is wise to go in the direction of your fear.
--Milorad Pavic

Instead of trying things you already suspect you'd like (since those things are easy to think of) why not seek out experiences that you'd normally specifically avoid? Being in a rceptive state colors things differently and you may trip over a new passion.

Also, in a vacuum, ANY change you introduce will have effects. Eat lunch at a new place every day. Move the furniture in your house. Take different routes to work every day, take note of anything interesting you'd like to check out some other time. Perpetuating small subtle changes will echo throughout the rest of your life and you may be surprised by the results.
posted by hermitosis at 6:49 AM on November 1, 2007

If it's not heinous to you, join a church. Unitarian for starters. They have a lot of good discussions on a variety of things, theater groups, political action, and also just churchy things.

I echo meetup.

Pickup sports are also good - but you have to go the after party. Maybe you should try skateboarding- it's cheap, there's a huge community in CM, and you should pick it up pretty quickly with your skating skills.
posted by beezy at 7:06 AM on November 1, 2007

Give up videogames and television. You'll find other things to do, and they'll probably be more exciting and worthwhile.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:21 AM on November 1, 2007

Try getting to know the community. Go to a city/town council meeting. Go to local events. this link is for cheap tickets in costa mesa area. (membership required) Also try various hobby groups. Do you like model airplanes, rockets, trains? Do you like animals? Volunteer at the local shelter. Home brew club? Local Y for a pick up game of Volleyball or Basketball... YMMV
posted by Gungho at 8:15 AM on November 1, 2007

I tend to branch out by either trying to do or make the things I like to watch already, or do things that are similar to what I'm already doing.

For example, you like watching hockey, why not try to learn how to play hockey? A not especially athletic friend did this a few years ago, and he's still playing in fun leagues. You like video games, so maybe it's worth branching out into other kinds of games, like card games or board games. There's a lot of meetups for that kind of thing. Or maybe in addition to reading pulpy sci-fi, you could write it. It's not for everyone, certainly, but it's worth a try.
posted by ignignokt at 8:15 AM on November 1, 2007

Hey, if it makes you feel any better: The fact that you're bored and looking for something to do is a great sign. I suspect that the great majority of people are perfectly content to see what's on the tube and park themselves in front of it without another thought beyond which Lean Cuisine to microwave.

You're on the cusp of an awesome place. You're lucky.

Personally, I picked up a bunch of freelance work (I like what I do, so it's not really 'work') plus started screenprinting. I'm more productive than ever, never have the 'what-should-I-do-nows' and feel energized all the time.
posted by ImJustRick at 8:44 AM on November 1, 2007

You are in CostaMesa and you're bored? Good God: ocweekly.com
Party time...
posted by flowerofhighrank at 7:54 PM on November 1, 2007